Foreplay
In
human sexual behavior,
foreplay is a set of intimate psychological and physical acts between two or more people, meant to build up
sexual arousal. Foreplay takes place in preparation for
sexual intercourse or another act meant to bring about mutual sexual gratification or
orgasm.
Psychologically, foreplay lowers inhibitions and increases the
emotional comfort level between partners. Physically, it helps to produce an erection in men, allowing them to penetrate an orifice, and it helps to promote vaginal lubrication in women, which allows penetration to take place comfortably.
Foreplay is not merely a mechanical matter of sexual stimulation. A particular act may or may not constitute foreplay; conscious intent is the determining factor for whether an act is foreplay or not. If there is no intent to stimulate
sexual arousal and move towards more intimate sexual acts, a person's behavior will often be classified as
flirting or being "
touchy-feely".
In its initial stages, foreplay is often subtle and non-physical behavior that a person uses to signal sexual availability to potential partners. Verbally, foreplay can include sexual compliments, comments with double entendre, and conversations about sexual acts and desires. Non-verbally, foreplay can include provocative dressing,
preening gestures, licking or biting one's lips or food items, standing inside the potential partner's
personal space, and holding another person's gaze longer than is acceptable for casual acquaintances.
If the potential partner accepts the sexual invitation, foreplay has begun. Accepting the invitation is often indicated by reciprocating with similar behavior. Since these interactions are non-explicit, there can be misunderstandings about whether an invitation has been extended and/or accepted. Whether advertent or not, this kind of miscommunication is often termed "leading someone on".
At some point, foreplay typically becomes physical. Simple and seemingly innocuous acts, such as straightening someone's clothing or hair, bumping into someone while walking, stroking someone's arm, or whispering in someone's ear can constitute foreplay. Holding hands,other touching (especially of the face),
kissing, biting,
massaging, or scratching any area of the body can all qualify as foreplay.
As the couple's degree of comfort and/or privacy increases, the level of intimacy in their actions usually does. More intimate examples include:
*deep tongue kissing (also known as
French kissing)
*touching and massaging
erogenous zones over clothing (also known as
groping or
petting)
*touching and massaging erogenous zones under clothing (also known as heavy-petting)
*rubbing together of partners'
erogenous zones over clothing (also known as
dry humping or grinding)
*
undressing one's self or one's partner (also known as
stripping)
*possibly
oral sex as well
These various examples are often combined; if foreplay doesn't lead to sexual intercourse, a session of such acts is sometimes called "petting" or "
making out".
Direct manipulation of naked erogenous zones is almost always considered foreplay. In women, this includes stimulation of the
clitoris and
labia lips. In men, this includes stimulation of the
penis and
testicles. For both genders, this includes stimulation of
nipples and
anus. Stimulation can be achieved using a mouth, hands,
sex toys (such as
dildos or
vibrators), or common household objects (such as
feathers or ice cubes).
Safe sex practices can be incorporated as part of foreplay. If a
condom or
dental dam is going to be used, it can be applied in an erotic or playful way as part of the final stages of foreplay. (Even if birth control is being handled by
the Pill or some other hormonal form, safe sex still requires protection against
sexually transmitted diseases.)
Foreplay tends to become more purely physical as well as more intense as it proceeds. Foreplay reaches its peak in the moments just before intercourse, when it lowers any remaining inhibitions and produces a strong mutual desire for penetration. Even at this point, some genital teasing may take place for a brief time, which marks foreplay's final seconds.
When a person's genitals are deliberately engaged with the intent to complete an act of oral, vaginal, or anal intercourse, most people consider foreplay to have ended. Admittedly, this is a somewhat arbitrary dividing line. During the final stages of foreplay, most couples focus increasing attention on genital areas; during intercourse, people usually continue many of the nongenital behaviors they engaged in during foreplay. A better view might be that foreplay, rather than ending, evolves into intercourse.
Direct manipulation of naked
erogenous zones is not considered foreplay when it is not preparatory for further sexual acts. Again, intent is the pivotal question. For example,
mutual masturbation and
oral sex are often considered final sexual acts; as final acts with no expectation of further sexual congress, these wouldn't be considered foreplay. By definition, foreplay is not a goal, but a step (or series of steps) towards a goal.
Sexual roleplaying,
fetish activities, and
BDSM can also be considered foreplay, though they more commonly accompany sex rather than preceding it.
Foreplay can vary dramatically based on age, religion, and cultural norms.
*
Outercourse*
Erogenous zone*
Missionary position*
Sexual intercourse*
Footsie, the 'feet under the table' practice
