Interpersonal relationship
Interpersonal relationships are
social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or more people. They vary in differing levels of
intimacy and sharing, implying the discovery or establishment of
common ground, and may be centered around something(s) shared in common. The study of relationships is of concern to
sociology,
psychology and
anthropology.
1)
Contact::a)
Uncertainty reduction - through
eye contact, identification, opening disclosure, etc.:b)
Perceptual - notice how a person looks at the other and their
body language.:c)
Interactional cues - nodding, maintaining eye contact, etc.:d)
Invitational - encouraging the relationship (e.g. asking if they want to meet up later for coffee):e)
Avoidance strategies - if one person discloses and the other does not, minimal response, lack of eye contact, etc.
2)
Involvement:a)
Feelers - hints or questions (ex. asking about family):b)
Intensifying strategies - further the relationship (ex. meeting old friend, bringing the other to meet family, becoming more
affectionate, etc.):c)
Public - seen in public together often (ex. if in a romantic relationship, may be holding hands)
3)
Intimacy -very close, may have exchanged some sort of personal belonging or something that represents further commitment. (ex. may be a promise ring in a romantic relationship or a friendship necklace symbolizing two people are best friends)
4)
Deterioration - things start to fall apart. In a romantic relationship, after six months, people are out of what is sometimes referred to as the "
honeymoon stage" and start to notice flaws. The way this is dealt with determines the fate of the relationship.
*
Kinship relationships, including
family relationships, being related to someone else by blood (
consanguinity), e.g. fatherhood, motherhood; or through
marriage (
affinity), e.g. father-in-law, mother-in-law, uncle by marriage, aunt by marriage.
* Formalized
intimate relationships or
long term relationships through
law and public
ceremony, e.g.
marriage and
civil union.
* Non-formalized
intimate relationships or
long term relationships such as
loving relationships or romantic relationships with or without
living together; the other person is often called
lover, boyfriend or
girlfriend (not to be confused with
just a male or female friend), or
significant other. If the partners live together, the relationship may be similar to marriage, and the other person may be called
husband or
wife. In Scottish law they are so regarded by
common law after a time. Long term relationships in other countries are often erroneously called common law marriages, although they have no special status in law.
Mistress is a somewhat old fashioned term for a female lover of a man who is married to another woman, or of an unmarried man. She may even be an official mistress (in French
maîtresse en titre); an example is
Madame de Pompadour.
*
Soulmates, individuals who are intimately drawn to one another through a favorable meeting of the minds and who find mutual acceptance and understanding with one another. Soulmates may feel themselves bonded together for a lifetime; and, hence, they may be
sexual partners but not necessarily.
*
Casual relationships, relationships extending beyond
one night stands that exclusively consist of
sexual behavior, the participants of which may be known as
friends with benefits when limited to considering
sexual intercourse or
sexual partners in a wider sense.
*
Platonic love is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise.
*
Friendship, which consists of mutual love, trust, respect, and unconditional acceptance, and usually implies the discovery or establishment of common ground between the individuals involved; see also
internet friendship and
pen pal.
*
Brotherhood and
sisterhood, individuals united in a common cause or having a common interest, which may involve formal membership in a
club,
organization,
association,
society,
lodge,
fraternity or sorority. This type of interpersonal relationship also includes the comradeship of fellow
soldiers in
peace or
war.
* Partners or coworkers in a
profession, business, or a common workplace.
* Participation in a
community, for example, a
community of interest or
practice.
* Association, simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction.
The discovery or establishment of common ground between individuals is a fundamental component for enduring interpersonal relationships. Loss of common ground, which may happen over time, may tend to end interpersonal relationships.
For each relationship type, essential skills are needed, and without these skills more advanced relationships are not possible. Systemic coaching advocates a hierarchy of relationships, from friendship to global order. Expertise in each relationship type (in this hierarchy) requires the skills of all previous relationship types. (For example
partnership requires
friendship and
teamwork skills).
Interpersonal relationships through
consanguinity and
affinity can persist despite the absence of love, affection, or common ground. When these relationships are in
prohibited degrees, sexual intimacy in them would be the
taboo of
incest.
Marriage and
civil union are relationships reinforced and regularized by their legal sanction to be "respectable" building blocks of
society. In the United States the de-criminalization of
homosexual sexual relations in the landmark Supreme Court decision,
Lawrence v. Texas (
2003) facilitated the "mainstreaming" of gay
long term relationships, and broached the possibility of the legalization of
same-sex marriages in that country.
In
intimate relationships there is often, but not always, an implicit or explicit agreement that the partners will not have
sex with someone else -
monogamy. The extent to which
physical intimacy with other people is accepted may vary. For example, a husband may be more receptive to his wife being physically affectionate with her female friend if she has one than with her male friend (see also
jealousy).
In
friendship there is some
transitivity: one may become a friend of an existing friend's friend. However, if two people have a sexual relationship with the same person, they may be competitors rather than friends. Accordingly, sexual behavior with the sexual partner of a friend may damage the friendship. See
love triangle.
Sexual relations between two friends may alter that relationship by either "taking it to the next level" or severing it.
Sexual partners may also be
friends: the sexual relationship may either enhance or depreciate the
friendship.
The rise of
popular psychology has led to an explosion of concern about one's interpersonal relationships (often simply called: "relationships").
Intimate relationships receive particular attention in this context, but
Sociology recognises many other interpersonal links of greater or less duration and/or significance.
Relationships are not necessarily healthy. Unhealthy examples include
abusive relationships and
codependence.
Sociologists recognize a hierarchy of
forms of activity and interpersonal relations, which divides them into:
behavior,
action,
social behavior,
social action,
social contact,
social interaction and finally
social relation.
*
Social psychology has several approaches to the subject of interpersonal relationships, among them
closure and also
trust, as trust between parties can be
mutual. This may lead to enduring relationships.
*
Social exchange theory interprets relationships in terms of exchanged benefits. The way people feel about relationships will be influenced by the rewards of the relationship, as well as rewards they may potentially receive in alternate relationships.
*
Systemic coaching analyzes relationships as expressions of our human need to love and be loved. Relationships can be confused by transferences, entanglements and substitution. Systemic coaching offers solutions for many relationship difficulties.
*
Equity theory is based on criticism of social exchange theory. Proponents argue that people care more than just maximizing rewards, they also want fairness and equity in their relationships.
*Relational
dialectics is based on the idea that a relationship is not a static entity. Instead, a relationship is a continuing process, always changing. There is constant tension as three main issues are negotiated: autonomy vs. connection, novelty vs. predictability, and openness vs. closedness.
*
Attachment styles are a completely different way of analyzing relationships. Proponents of this view argue that attachment styles developed in childhood continue to be influential throughout adulthood, influencing the roles people take on in relationships.
*
Socionics and some other theories of psychological
compatibility consider interpersonal relationships as at least partly dependent on psychological types of partners.
*
Adultery*
Affection*
Alternatives to marriage project*
empathy*
Concubinage*
Conflict Style Inventory*
Courtship (Dating)
*
Forms of activity and interpersonal relations*
Historical pederastic couples*
Human bonding*
Interpersonal communication*
Monogamy,
polyamory,
polygamy,
endogamy,
exogamy*
Single (relationship)*
Social interaction*
What are friends for? - three part article in
UK Guardian newspaper
