Minor characters from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
There are many
minor characters in the various versions of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by
Douglas Adams. In fact, defining a major character is rather difficult. If the major characters are those the plot focuses on, they are
Arthur Dent,
Ford Prefect,
Zaphod Beeblebrox,
Marvin and
Trillian, with the possible inclusion of
Slartibartfast,
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz,
Random Dent and
Fenchurch. If they are defined as characters appearing in all the books, they are only Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent. In this case, the definition of major characters will be those in the series with major plot significance not appearing on this list.
Agrajag is a piteous creature that is continuously
reincarnated and subsequently killed unknowingly by
Arthur Dent each time. Agrajag first appears in the series as a falling bowl of
petunias (although, if the books are read in sequence, the reader doesn't know it at the time). In another incarnation, he was a prehistoric
rabbit who was killed by Arthur for breakfast and whose skin was fashioned into a pouch, which is then used to swat a fly who happened to be Agrajag. In yet another, he dies of a
heart attack after seeing Arthur and Ford materialize in the midst of a
cricket match at
Lord's Cricket Ground while they (Arthur and Ford) were seated on a Chesterfield sofa.
Eventually, Agrajag becomes aware of his many past incarnations and wishes to take revenge on Arthur Dent. He diverts Arthur's teleportation to the Cathedral of Hate for revenge, but mistakenly does so before the death of one of his incarnations has actually happened, thus making the attempt logically impossible. Agrajag tries to kill Arthur anyway, and once again dies at Arthur's hands, but not before setting off the explosives intended to kill Arthur in a massive rockfall. Because of cause and effect and the laws of time and the universe (not to mention dramatic necessity), Arthur escapes the rockfall and goes on to witness the death of Agrajag that hadn't yet happened when he was diverted to the Cathedral of Hate.
Some readers believe Agrajag's character represents the futility of life or the mess that
the Universe is in. Series author
Douglas Adams had his own ideas about what the character represents, which he may share with us in a way. In the
2004/
2005 BBC Radio series for the last three books of Adams' series, Douglas Adams plays Agrajag, having recorded the part for an audiobook version of
Life, The Universe and Everything. Producer
Dirk Maggs added a suitable voice treatment, and
Simon Jones as Arthur Dent recorded his lines opposite the pre-recorded Adams.
Adams was thus able to "come back from the dead" to participate in the new series—an
irony which his books and the existence of Agrajag himself certainly show that Adams would enjoy.
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (unnamed)
Life, the Universe, and EverythingMostly HarmlessAs their names were written to suggest, every
Allitnil is an anti-clone of a
Lintilla. They were created by the cloning company to "revoke" the millions of cloned Lintillas flooding out of a malfunctioning cloning machine. Being anti-clones, when an Allitnil comes into physical contact with a Lintilla, they both wink out of existence in a puff of unsmoke.
Along with Poodoo and Varntvar the Priest, three Allitnils arrived on Brontitall to "revoke" the three Lintillas there. Two of the clones eliminate their corresponding Lintillas, but Arthur shoots the third Allitnil, so that one Lintilla survives.
Appearing only in the
final episode of the second radio series, every one of the Allitnils are voiced by David Tate.
The Almighty Bob is a
deity worshipped by the people of
Lamuella.
Old Thrashbarg is one of the priests who worships Almighty Bob; however, Thrashbarg is often ignored by the villagers of
Lamuella.
The captain and first officer were the only
crew of an Arcturan Megafreighter carrying a larger number of copies of
Playbeing magazine than the mind can comfortably conceive. They brought Zaphod Beeblebrox to Ursa Minor Beta, after he had escaped from the Haggunenon flag ship. Zaphod was let on board by the Number One, who was cynical about the Guide's editors becoming soft. He admired the fact that Zaphod was
"hitching the hard way".
They only appear in
Fit the Seventh of the radio series, where the captain is played by
David Tate, and his number one by
Bill Paterson. However, some of their dialogue was given to other characters in
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
Colin is a small melon-sized flying security robot which
Ford Prefect enslaves to aid in his escape from the newly re-organized
Guide offices in
Mostly Harmless. Ford captures Colin by trapping the robot with his
towel and re-wiring the robot's pleasure circuits.
Ford uses Colin's cheerfulness to break into the Guide's corporate accounting software in order to write a piece of software that will automatically pay his expense account. Colin also saves Ford's life when the Guide's new security force,
Vogons, blow up one of Ford's irreplaceable shoes with a
rocket launcher.
Colin was named after a dog belonging to Emily Saunders, an old ex-girlfriend of Ford's.
Appears in:
Mostly HarmlessIn the radio series, he is played by
Andrew Secombe.
Deep Thought is a computer that was created by a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent race of beings to come up with
the ultimate answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. When, after seven and a half million years of calculation, the answer finally turns out to be
42, Deep Thought's creators sheepishly realize that they do not know the question.
Deep Thought itself does not know the ultimate question to Life, the Universe and Everything, but offers to design an even more powerful computer (
Earth; see
Earth in fiction) to calculate it. After ten million years of calculation, the Earth is destroyed by
Vogons five minutes before the computation is complete.
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyOn radio, Deep Thought was voiced by
Geoffrey McGivern. On television and in the LP re-recording of the radio series, he was voiced by
Valentine Dyall. In the feature film Deep Thought's voice was provided by actress
Helen Mirren.
In the television series, Deep Thought was shaped like a massive, black, and metal trapezoid with a yellow rectangular display that blinked on and off in time with the computer's speaking. The timing of the light's flashing was done on set by author
Douglas Adams. Valentine Dyall's voice was dubbed in later.
In the film of Hitchhiker's Guide it appears as a large gold computer that likes to watch
television and late in the film can also be seen to have the
Apple Computer logo above its eye. This is a reference to Adams being a fan and advocate of the Apple Macintosh until his death.
IBM's
chess-playing computer
Deep Thought was named in honour of this fictional computer.
Regarding the naming of this character, all Douglas Adams was ever quoted as saying (in
Neil Gaiman's book
Don't Panic: The Official Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Companion) was "The name is a very obvious joke". It's fairly likely that he was referring to "
Deep Throat", but he never stated if he meant the
film or the
Deep Throat figure that played a role in the
Watergate scandal.
The quadruped
Dish of the Day is an Ameglian Major Cow, a species of
dairy animal specifically bred to not only have the desire to be eaten, but to be capable of saying so quite clearly and distinctly. When asked if he would like to see the Dish of the Day, Zaphod replies: "let's meet the meat." The Major Cow's quite vocal and emphatic desire to be consumed by
Milliways' patrons greatly distresses Arthur Dent, and the Dish is nonplussed by a queasy Arthur's subsequent order of a
green salad, since he knows "many vegetables that are very clear" on the point of not wanting to be eaten — which was part of the reason for the creation of the Ameglian Major Cow in the first place. After Zaphod orders four rare steaks, the Dish announces that he is nipping off to the kitchen to shoot himself. Though he states, "I'll be very humane," this does not comfort Arthur at all.
Appears in:
The Restaurant at the End of the UniverseThe character is not present in the original radio series, but does make a cameo appearance in the finale of the fifth radio series. The first appearance of him was in a
stage adaptation in
1980 at the
Rainbow Theatre. Since then he appeared in the second novel, and the
television series. In the TV series, he was played by
Peter Davison, who was at that time
Sandra Dickinson's husband. Sandra Dickinson played Trillian in the television series, and suggested casting Davison, who was a fan of the radio series.
Known as "The Triple-Breasted Whore Of Eroticon Six",
Eccentrica Gallumbits is first mentioned in
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when Arthur looks up
Earth for the first time in the guide. The entry for Earth is under that of Eccentrica Gallumbits. She is heard about again during a newscast that
Zaphod Beeblebrox tunes into shortly after stealing the spaceship
Heart of Gold. The newsreader quotes Eccentrica describing Zaphod as "The best bang since the Big One". It was also reported in Fit the Ninth of
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series that Zaphod had delivered a Presidential address from her bedroom on at least one occasion.
Pears Gallumbit, a dessert which has several things in common with her, is available at
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
Some people say her erogenous zones start some four miles from her actual body. Ford Prefect disagrees, saying five.
Never actually appears in the series, but is mentioned in all five of the books.
In a possible homage to the series, the film
Total Recall features a triple-breasted prostitute. The name of the collection
Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht may have been partially inspired by the character, as it contains references to Douglas Adams and the series.
She is referenced in an issue of the
Legion of Super Heroes.
Eddie is the shipboard
computer on the starship
Heart of Gold. He came from the factory equipped with an over-excitable, over-enthused, extremely irritating personality. At one point his alternate personality is accessed, but the new one (a coddling, school matronly sort) is apparently even worse. His logic circuits can be accessed by the other
Sirius Cybernetics Corporation machines that apparently came standard with the
Heart of Gold, thus ensuring that the entire ship can be effectively crippled if someone tries to explain why they like
tea to the
Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser.
On some occasions when certain destruction seems quite imminent, Eddie will sing "
You'll Never Walk Alone" (somewhat badly).
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyThe Restaurant at the End of the UniverseLife, the Universe and Everything*
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (computer game)He is voiced in the first two radio series and on television by
David Tate. In the third radio series, he is voiced by
Roger Gregg and in the film by
Thomas Lennon.
Elvis Presley is a real-life singer, who died in
1977. It has been popularly suggested that he has been
abducted by aliens- or that he is an alien who faked his own death so he could return to his home planet.
In the book
Mostly Harmless, Elvis is discovered by
Ford Prefect and
Arthur Dent working as a bar singer on an alien planet, and owning a large pink spaceship.
In the radio adaptation of
Mostly Harmless,
The Quintessential Phase, it has been indicated that in the alternate Earth which is the focus of the story, Elvis never died, and there is mention of an album "Elvis sings
Oasis". He appears in
Fit the Twenty-Sixth, voiced by
Philip Pope.
Fenchurch is
Arthur Dent's
soulmate and a character found in the fourth book of the Hitchhiker "trilogy",
So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish. She was named after
Fenchurch Street railway station, not because it was where she was born, but because, according to her parents, she was conceived in the ticket queue there. If the five books are read in order, we are introduced to the character of Fenchurch at the very beginning of the
first book as the girl in the café who realises how to change the world for the better.(She is then obliterated along with the rest of Earth before she has the chance to tell anyone).
By the time of the fourth book, the Earth and everyone on it — including Fenchurch — had reappeared from another plane in the Whole Sort Of General Mish Mash (WSOGMM). This allows a romantic relationship to bloom between her and Arthur Dent, which includes him teaching her how to fly, and a subsequent implied aerial sexual encounter. (Followed by a second one the next night, this time with
Sony Walkmans).
At the beginning of the fifth book, she vanishes abruptly during a hyperspace jump on their first intergalactic holiday.
Douglas Adams later claimed that he wanted rid of the character as she was getting in the way of the story. Much of this is evident from the
self-referential prose surrounding Arthur and Fenchurch's relationship.
In the Quintessential Phase of the radio series, she is revealed to have been working as a waitress at
Milliways since she vanished, and is reunited with
Arthur Dent.
In the
radio adaptation of So Long and Thanks For All the Fish Fenchurch is played by actress
Jane Horrocks.
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (unnamed cameo)
So Long, and Thanks for All the FishMostly Harmless (only mentioned in passing)
Frankie and
Benjy are the mice that Arthur (et al.) encounter on
Magrathea. Frankie and Benjy wish to extract the final readout data from Arthur's brain to get
the Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything. Frankie and Benjy are, after all, part of the pan-dimensional race that created the Earth as a
supercomputer successor to
Deep Thought in order to find out the question to which the answer was
42.
In the first version, the radio series, they offered Arthur and Trillian a large amount of money if they could tell them what the Question is. In later versions this was changed - unfortunately for Arthur, they claim the only way to do this is to remove his brain and prepare it, apparently by dicing it. They promise to replace it with a simple computer brain, which, suggested Zaphod, would only have to say things like "What?", "I don't understand" and "Where's the tea?". Arthur objects to this ("What?", he says. "See!" says Zaphod), and escapes with the help of his friends.
In the movie, they are in fact the manifestations of Lunkwill and Fook, the pan-dimensional beings who designed and built Deep Thought, and were squashed flat by Arthur Dent when they attempted to treat his brain.
Appear in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyOn radio,
David Tate played Benjy Mouse and
Peter Hawkins voiced Frankie Mouse. They appeared in
Fit the Fourth. They also appeared in
Episode Four of the TV series, where they were voiced by David Tate and Stephen Moore.
In the series,
Gag Halfrunt is the private
brain care specialist of
Zaphod Beeblebrox, and is not a major character in terms of the amount of dialogue or prominence he gets. However, he is major in the sense that the entire plot loosely revolves around him (at least in the radio series version of HHGG). This may be in part because large parts of the series were made up by Adams as he went along, and some of the plot developments and explanations were more a way to tie up some of the glaring loose ends than part of a predetermined master plan.
In the story, Zaphod and Gag Halfrunt (as leader of a group of psychiatrists) are in cahoots to discover who or what is
really running the universe. Because the
Earth is really a giant
computer built to determine the very same thing, the psychiatrists cannot afford to have the Ultimate Question revealed, because this would put them out of a job (on the premise that if the Question becomes known, everyone would suddenly start leading happy and productive lives, rendering shrinks unnecessary). Therefore they hire the
Vogons to destroy the Earth to prevent the Ultimate Question being discovered. Later the Vogons also try (under Gag's direction) to destroy the starship
Heart of Gold, because it is carrying
Arthur Dent, who may have the Question buried in his brain somewhere. All of this is unknown to Zaphod because he has brainwashed himself to forget about the collusion (though again this seems to be more of a device to explain why it only becomes clear towards the end of the second series and hasn't been mentioned before). In the end Zaphod "remembers" and does, in fact, find
The Ruler of the Universe.
Gag Halfrunt was used since his first appearance in Fit the Second as a
running joke; he would remark whenever asked about Zaphod "Vell, Zaphod's just zis guy, you know?"
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyThe Restaurant at the End of the UniverseOn radio, he was voiced by
Stephen Moore, and appears in
Fits the Second,
Seventh and
Ninth.
On television, he was played by
Gil Morris and in the film he is played by
Jason Schwartzman. In both these versions he only appears briefly, being interviewed about Zaphod Beeblebrox, and the plot involving the ruler of the Universe does not appear.
In
Mostly Harmless, Gail Andrews is an
astrologer who is interviewed by
Tricia McMillan about the impact that the discovery of the planet
Persephone, or Rupert will have on astrology. She is an advisor to the
President of the United States, President Hudson, but denies having recommended the bombing of
Damascus.
In the radio series, she appears in
Fit the Twenty-Third, and is voiced by
Lorelei King.
Gargravarr is a disembodied
mind who is the Custodian of the
Total Perspective Vortex. Gargravarr is currently undergoing a period of legal trial separation with his body, who will probably get granted the custody of Gargravarr's forename,
Pizpot. The trial separation was most likely caused by Gagravarr's arguments with his body about whether sex is better than fishing or not, Gagravarr's disastrous attempt at combining the two activities, and Gagravarr's body going out partying too late.
Appears in:
The Restaurant at the End of the UniverseGargravarr was voiced on radio by
Valentine Dyall - he appears in
Fit the Eighth.
Garkbit is a waiter at Milliways, also known as "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe". He has quite likely been employed there for some time, since he is unfazed by Arthur, Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian's confusion as to their location after their abrupt arrival at Milliways, and his casual statement that the Universe "will explode later for your pleasure". Alternatively, he may simply have a very dry sense of humour, since when Arthur asks, somewhat rhetorically, if they aren't dead, Garkbit replies that "Sir is most evidently alive, otherwise I would not attempt to serve sir".
Appears in:
The Restaurant at the End of the UniverseIn the radio series Garkbit is played by
Anthony Sharp, and appears in
Fit the Fifth. In the television series, he is portrayed by
Jack May and appears in
Episode Five.
An enterprising chap who addressed the problem of
elevators refusing to operate because they had been afforded a degree of
prescience (to facillitate their operation by allowing them to be waiting for you before you've even decided you want to go up or down a floor) but consequently become terrified of the future, and so taken to hiding in basements. Mincefriend patented and successfully marketed a device he had seen in a history book: the
staircase.
The Golgafrinchans all appear in
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. On radio they appear in
Fit the Sixth, and in the television series, in
Episode Six.
Agda and Mella
Agda and
Mella are
Golgafrinchan girls that Arthur and Ford hit on. On Golgafrinchan, Agda used to be a junior
personnel officer and Mella an
art director. Agda is taller and slimmer and Mella shorter and round-faced. Mella and Arthur became a couple, as did Agda and Ford. In a way Mella was very relieved because she had been saved from a life of looking at moodily lit tubes of toothpaste.
Captain
The Captain is the captain of the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. He likes to bathe with his rubber duck (he spent practically the entire time he was captain of the B Ark and as much of his time on Earth, a total time of over three years, as has been documented in the bath) and has got a very relaxed attitude towards everything. The Captain also has a fondness for jynnan tonnyx. His personality was based on Douglas Adams' habit of taking extraordinarily long
baths as a method of
procrastination to avoid writing.
On radio, he was voiced by
David Jason. On television, it was
Aubrey Morris.
Hairdresser
One of the Golgafrinchans on the prehistoric Earth, the
hairdresser was put in charge of the fire development sub-committee. They gave him a couple of sticks to rub together, but instead, he made them into a pair of scissors in the radio series, or curling tongs in the television series.
He was played by
Aubrey Woods on radio and
David Rowlands on television.
Management consultant
The Golgafrinchans'
management consultant tried to arrange the meetings of the colonization committee along the lines of a traditional committee structure, complete with a chair and an agenda. He was also in charge of fiscal policy, and decided to adopt the leaf as legal tender, making everyone immensely rich. In order to solve the inflation problem this caused, he planned a major deforestation campaign to effectively revalue the leaf by burning down all the forests.
He was played on radio by
Jonathan Cecil and on television by
Jon Glover.
Marketing girl
Another Golgafrinchan on prehistoric Earth, the
marketing girl assisted the hairdresser's fire development sub-committee in researching what consumers want from fire and how they relate to it and if they want it fitted nasally. She also tried to invent the wheel, but had a little difficulty deciding what colour it should be.
She was played by
Beth Porter on both radio and television.
Number One
Number One is an officer in the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. Not the brightest person around, but all in all nice and good officer material. On radio, he was voiced by
Jonathan Cecil. On television, he was played by
Matthew Scurfield.
Number Two
Number Two is a
militaristic officer in the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. He captures Arthur and Ford and interrogates them. When they land to Earth, Number Two declares a war on another, uninhabited continent (which though unnamed in the book is most likely France given the details given about the travels of Ford and Arthur). Likes shouting a lot and thinks the Captain is an idiot.
On radio, he is played by
Aubrey Woods. On television, he is
David Neville, although some of his lines were given to a new character:
Number Three played by
Geoffrey Beevers.
Telephone Sanitizer
The
telephone sanitizer is a
profession involved in the plot thread relating to the planet Golgafrinchan in
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
The Golgafrinchans sent their Telephone Sanitizer population away, along with the rest of the useless third of their population to form a colony on a remote planet (
Earth as it happens). Ironically, the remaining Golgafrinchan population was then wiped out by a virulent disease contracted via unsanitary telephones.
Grunthos the Flatulent was the poetmaster of the Azgoths of Kria, writers of the second worst poetry in the universe, coming between the third, the
Vogons, and the first,
Paul Neil Milne Johnstone (in the radio series) or Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings (in the other versions).
The guide recites a tale of how, during a reading of his poem
Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning, "four of the audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off".
Reportedly "disappointed" by the reception of his poem, Grunthos then prepared to read his 12-book epic,
My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles (or
Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory in the TV series). He was prevented from doing so when his small intestine leapt up his neck and throttled his brain in a desperate bid to save lifekind, killing him.
Excerpt from
"Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", taken from the TV series:
Putty. Putty. Putty.Green Putty - Grutty Peen.Grarmpitutty - Morning!Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!Discovery..... Oh.Putty?..... Armpit?Armpit..... Putty.Not even a particularlyNice shade of green.Excerpt from
"Zen And The Art Of Going To The Lavatory", also taken from the TV series
Relax mindRelax bodyRelax bowelsRelax.Do not fall over.You are a cloud.You are raining.Do not rainWhile trainIs standing at a station.Move with the wind.Apologise where necessary.Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyHactar was the first
computer in which its individual parts reflected the pattern of the whole, much like an organic
brain, allowing it to be much more flexible and imaginative. Hactar is first mentioned in connection with the
Silastic Armorfiends, a violent and warlike race. At one point, the Silastic Armorfiends ask Hactar to design the "Ultimate Weapon", which resulted in a bomb that would connect every major
sun in the
universe through a hyperspace junction, causing every
star to go
supernova. Hactar is shocked – thereby becoming the first computer ever to be shocked. Hactar builds the supernova bomb, but deliberately includes a small defect in it. When the Armorfiends find out, they are so incensed that they pulverize Hactar (then go on to find new ways to pulverize each other).
However, because each pulverized bit of Hactar contains the pattern of the whole, he is eventually able to pull himself together in the form of a debris cloud surrounding
Krikkit. Hactar eventually decides to use what little influence he has, over æons, to make up for his insubordination. He creates a new client by isolating the inhabitants of
Krikkit, making them think they are the only living creatures in the universe. Hactar enables the Krikkiters to build their first space ship out of spare parts in their back yards and upon discovering the rest of the universe, they cannot comprehend it, and their view of the world demands that they destroy it. Hactar slips them the design for his ultimate weapon, but they build it incorrectly. After an incredibly long and bloody galactic war, Judiciary Pag banishes Krikkit to an envelope of "Slo-Time" to be released after the rest of the universe ends. But Hactar has managed to build a presumably functional bomb (in the shape of a cricket ball), and slips it to Arthur before being dissipated when our heroes follow the sole surviving Krikkit warship and fail to prevent it from releasing the lock on the Slo-Time envelope. Arthur accidentally saves the Universe again by being an abysmally poor cricket bowler.
Appears in:
Life, the Universe, and EverythingHe is played on radio first by
Geoffrey McGivern, in a flashback for which McGivern is not credited during
Fit the Seventeenth. He is then voiced by
Leslie Phillips, appearing again in
Fit the Eighteenth.
The Underfleet Commander reports directly to the Haggunenon Admiral. The admiral had gone off for a quick meal at Milliways, where Ford and Zaphod attempted to steal his/her/its flagship. But as it had a pre-set return course, it resumed its place at the front of a hundred thousand horribly weaponed black battle cruisers. Because the
Haggunenons have very unstable DNA and change their shape/appearance at random and often inconvient times, the Underfleet Commander mistakenly assumes that Zaphod and Trillian are, in fact, the admiral.
The Underfleet Commander only appears in
Fit the Sixth, voiced by
Aubrey Woods. The Haggunenons were written out of subsequent versions, as they were originally co-written with
John Lloyd, although they did appear in some stage adaptations.
Haggunenons are greatly inconvenienced by their genetic instability and so have vowed to wage terrible war against all "filthy rotten stinking same-lings"
Hig Hurtenflurst "only happens to be" the risingest young executive in the
Dolmansaxlil Shoe Corporation. During Fit the Eleventh, he is on
Brontitall. What he is doing there is something of a mystery, as the
Shoe Event Horizon was reached long ago and the survivors of the famine have long since evolved into bird people and set up home inside a thirteen-mile high statue of Arthur Dent. His foot-warriors capture Arthur Dent and three Lintilla clones, who are threatened by Hurtenflurst to be "revoked. K-I-L-L-E-D, revoked". He then proceeds to show them a film about the activities of the Dolmansaxlil Shoe Corporation, which is interrupted by Marvin, who has cut the power in order to rescue Arthur and the Lintillas.
He appeared in
Fit the Eleventh of the original radio series, and was played by
Marc Smith. He has not appeared in any versions after this.
 |
A branch of Hotblack Desiato estate agents, after which the character was named, at Camden Town. |
Hotblack Desiato is the ajuitar keyboard player of the rock group
Disaster Area, claimed to be the loudest band in the universe, and in fact the loudest sound of any kind, anywhere. So loud is this band that the audience usually listens from the safe distance of thirty seven miles away in a well built bunker.
Disaster Area's lavish performances went so far as to crash a space ship into the sun to create a solar flare.
Pink Floyd's lavish stage shows were the inspiration for
Disaster Area. At the time when the main characters meet him, in
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Hotblack is spending a year
dead "for tax reasons", though he is still psychically alive. The character is named after an
estate agency based in
Islington, with branches throughout North
London; Adams said he was struggling to find a name for the character and, spotting a Hotblack Desiato sign, liked the name so much he "nearly crashed the car" and eventually telephoned to ask permission to use the firm's name for a character. Apparently, the firm's staff later received phone calls telling them they had a nerve naming their company after Adams's character.
The Disaster Area sub-plot was first heard in the
LP album adaptations and later in
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It replaces the
Haggunenon material from the
Fit the Sixth in the radio series. The character appears in
episode five, and his ship in
episode six of the TV series. He does not have any lines, and is played by
Barry Frank Warren.
Humma Kavula is a semi-insane missionary living amongst the
Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI, and a former
space pirate. (It was presumably during his time as a pirate that he lost his legs and had them replaced with telescoping mechanical spider appendages). He seems to be a religious leader on that planet, preaching about the
Coming of the Great White Handkerchief. (See
Jatravartids).
He also ran against
Zaphod Beeblebrox in the campaign for President of the Galaxy with the campaign slogan "Don't Vote For Stupid", but lost. In the film he is seeking the
Point-of-view gun to further his religion's acceptance, and he takes one of Zaphod's heads as hostage to ensure his help.
The character was created by Adams exclusively for the movie. Quoting Robbie Stamp: "All the substantive new ideas in the movie, Humma, the Point of View Gun and the "paddle slapping sequence" on Vogsphere are brand new Douglas ideas written especially for the movie by him." [
1] Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie, played by
John Malkovich.
Hurling Frootmig is said to be the founder of the Hitchhiker's Guide, who established itsfundamental principles of honesty and idealism, and went bust. Later, after much soul-searching, he re-established the Guide with its principles of honesty and idealism and where you could stuff them, and went on to lead the Guide to its first major commercial success.
He is mentioned in
Life, the Universe and Everything. He did not make the
Tertiary Phase of the radio series, but was mentioned in
Fit the Twenty-Fourth of the
Quintessential Phase.
His High Judgmental Supremacy,
Judiciary Pag, L.I.V.R. (the Learned, Impartial, and Very Relaxed) was the Chairman of the Board of Judges at the
Krikkit War Crimes Trial. He privately called himself Zipo Bibrok 5x10
8. This probably means he was an ancestor of
Zaphod Beeblebrox, because due to "an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine" (according to Zaphod), Zaphod's father is "Zaphod Beeblebrox the Second", Zaphod's grandfather is "Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third", and so forth, so Zipo Bibrok 5x10
8 is probably the 5 billionth male-line ancestor of Zaphod Beeblebrox. Not only is "Zipo Bibrok" very similar to "Zaphod Beeblebrox", particularly considering the millions of years before Zaphod was to be born, during which time language would evolve greatly, but Judiciary Pag's mannerisms are similar to Zaphod's.
It was Judiciary Pag's idea that the people of Krikkit be permanently sealed in a Slo-Time envelope, and the seal could only be broken by bringing a special Key to the Lock. When the rest of the universe had ended, the seal would be broken and Krikkit could continue a solitary existence in the universe. This judgement seemed to please everybody except the people of Krikkit themselves, but the only alternative was to face annihilation.
Appears in:
Life, the Universe, and EverythingHe is played on radio by
Rupert Degas, and appears in
Fit the Fifteenth.
An old woman from Boston who rediscovers purpose in life by seeing Arthur and Fenchurch flying (and performing other activities) outside the aeroplane within which she is flying to Heathrow. She annoys the flight attendants by continually pressing her call button for reasons such as "the child in front was making milk come out of his nose". Later she ends up seated next to Arthur and Fenchurch on another aeroplane en route to Los Angeles.
Appears in:
So Long, and Thanks for All the FishShe was played by
Margaret Robertson in
Fit the Twenty-First during the Quandary Phase.
Kwaltz is one of the Vogons on Vogsphere, directing Jeltz's Vogon Constructor Fleet during the demolition of Earth and enforcing the galaxy's bureaucracy.
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie, voiced by
Ian McNeice.
Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton is a member of the aristocracy. She is responsible for christening the "very splendid and worthwhile yellow bulldozer" which knocks down Arthur Dent's house in "cruddy Cottington", and it gives her "great pleasure" to make a "very splendid and worthwhile" speech immediately beforehand.
She only appears in
Fit the First of the radio series, where she was voiced by
Jo Kendall. Her "very splendid and worthwhile" lines were entirely dropped from later versions.
Lallafa was an ancient
poet who lived in the
forests of the Long Lands of Effa. His home inspired him to write a poetic opus known as
The Songs of the Long Land on pages made of dried habra
leaves. His poems were discovered years after Lallafa's death, and news of them quickly spread. For centuries, the poems gave inspiration and illumination to many who would otherwise be much more unhappy, and for this they are ususally considered around the Galaxy to be the greatest poetic works in existence. This is remarkable because Lallafa wrote his poems without the aid of
education or
correction fluid.
The latter fact attracted the attention of some correction fluid manufacturers from the
Mancunian nebula. The manufacturers worked out that if they could get Lallafa to use their fluids in a variety of
leafy colours in the course of his work, their companies would be as successful as the poems themselves. And so, they traveled back in time and beat Lallafa until he went along with their plan. The plan succeeded, Lallafa became extremely rich, and spent so much time on
chat shows that he never got around to actually writing
The Songs. This was solved by each week, in the past, giving Lallafa a copy of his poems, from the present, and having him write his poems again for the first time. But on the condition that he make the odd mistake and use the correction fluid.
Some argued the poems were now worthless, and set out to stop this sort of thing with the Campaign for Real Time (a play on
Campaign for Real Ale), or CamTim, to keep the flow of history untampered by time travel.
Slartibartfast is a member of CamTim.
Lallafa appears in
Life, the Universe and Everything and
Fit the Fifteenth of
The Tertiary Phase.
Lintilla is a rather unfortunate woman who has (as of Fit the Eleventh) been
cloned 578,000,000,000 times due to an accident at a
Brantisvogan escort agency. While creating six clones of a wonderfully talented and attractive woman named Lintilla (at the same time another machine was creating five hundred lonely business executives, in order to keep the laws of
supply and demand operating profitably), the machine got stuck in a loop and malfunctioned in such a way that it got halfway through completing each new Lintilla before it had finished the previous one. This meant that it was for a very long while impossible to turn the machine off without committing
murder, despite lawyers' best efforts to argue about what murder actually was, including trying to redefine it, respell it and repronounce it.
Arthur Dent encounters three of her on the planet of
Brontitall, and takes a liking to (at least) one of them. He kills one of three male anti-clones, all called Allitnil (Lintilla backwards), sent by the cloning company to get her to "agree to cease to be" (although the other two of her "consummate" this legal agreement with their respective anti-clones). When Arthur leaves Zaphod, Ford, and
Zarniwoop stranded with the Ruler of the Universe and his cat, (at the conclusion of
the second radio series, he takes Lintilla with him aboard the
Heart of Gold.
All Lintillas were played by the same (non-cloned) actress:
Rula Lenska. Lintilla (and her clones) appeared only in the final three episodes of the original radio series. Rula Lenska did return to the
fourth and fifth radio series - she was first an uncredited "Update Voice" for the Hitchhiker's Guide itself and then played the Voice of the Bird (the new version of the Guide introduced in
Mostly Harmless). Zaphod noted in the new series that the new book has the same voice as Lintilla. The footnotes of the published scripts make the connection, confirming that the bird is actually an amalgam of the Lintilla clones, the solution alluded to in the second series. Lintilla and her clones do make a re-appearance of sorts on the
Heart of Gold in an alternate ending to
the final episode (which can only be heard on CD).
The name Lintilla was reused for an adult-oriented
multiple worlds talker lintilla that opened in 1994.
The Lord is a cat, owned by the
Ruler of the Universe. He might like fish and might like people singing songs to him, as the Ruler of the Universe isn't certain if people come to talk to him, or sing songs to his cat.
Appears in:
The Restaurant at the End of the UniverseLunkwill and
Fook are the two programmers chosen to make the great question to Deep Thought on the day of the Great On-Turning.
Appear in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyOn TV,
Antony Carrick plays Lunkwill and
Timothy Davies plays Fook, and they appear in
Episode Four.
On radio, the characters are just called
First computer programmer and
Second computer programmer, and appear in
Fit the Fourth, and are played by
Ray Hassett and
Jeremy Browne respectively.
In the
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie they are merged with the characters of
Frankie and Benjy mouse.
Jack Stanley plays Lunkwill and
Dominique Jackson plays Fook.
Majikthise and
Vroomfondel are
philosophers (though, since they insist on rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty, they may not be). They make their appearance as representatives of the
Amalgamated Union of Philosophers, Sages, Luminaries and other Professional Thinking Persons (AUPSLPTP) in order to protest against a
computer,
Deep Thought, being invoked to determine the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. In a contemporary, satirical, reference to the
industrial relations problems that culminated in the
Winter of Discontent, they maintain that the search for ultimate truth is the
inalienable prerogative of your working thinkers. Since that time,
chess players objecting to competition with computers have been compared with AUPSLPTP activists, for example by
Raymond Keene.
Appear in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyOn radio, Majikthise was played by
Jonathan Adams and Vroomfondel was played by
Jim Broadbent. In the television series (but not on The Big Read),
David Leland played Majikthise and
Charles McKeown played Vroomfondel.
They were omitted from the
movie version.
Max Quordlepleen is an entertainer. He hosts the entertainment at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe and the Big Bang Burger Bar (which was known as the Big Bang Burger Chef in the radio series). His feelings about the Universe outside of his onstage persona are unclear, but his repeated witnessing of both its beginning and end must have a large effect on them to be sure.
Appears in:
The Restaurant at the End of the UniverseOn radio,
Roy Hudd played him. On television, it was
Colin Jeavons.
He re-appears in the final episode of the
Quintessential Phase of the radio series, played by Roy Hudd again.
Murray Bost Henson is "a journalist from one of those papers with small pages and big print" as Arthur Dent puts it. He is a friend of Arthur's whom Arthur phones one day to find out how he can get in touch with
Wonko the Sane, and uses incredibly odd idioms in conversation, including such phrases as "my old prosthetic limb" and "the Great Golden Spike in the sky" (referring to the death-place of old newspaper stories).
He is played in
Fit the Twenty-First of the Quandary Phase by
Stephen Fry.
Old Thrashbarg first appears in the book
Mostly Harmless, as a sort of priest on
Lamuella, the planet on which Arthur becomes Sandwich-Maker. He worships
"Bob" and is often ignored by his villagers. Whenever he is questioned about Almighty Bob he merely describes him as "ineffable." No one on Lamuella knows what this means, because Thrashbarg owns the only dictionary, and it is "the ineffable will of Almighty Bob" that he keeps it to himself.
In the
Quintessential Phase of the radio series he is voiced by
Griff Rhys Jones.
Oolon Colluphid is the author of several books on religious and other philosophical topics. Colluphid's works include:
Where God Went WrongSome More of God's Greatest MistakesWho Is This God Person Anyway?Well That About Wraps It Up for GodEverything You Ever Wanted To Know About Guilt But Have Been Too Ashamed To Find Out
*Everything You Never Wanted To Know About Sex But Have Been Forced To Find Out
Colluphid is also shown as the author of the book The Origins of the Universe
in the first part of the Destiny of the Daleks serial of Doctor Who''. The titular Doctor scoffs that he "got it wrong on the first line". The reference was inserted by Douglas Adams, who was at the time working as the show's script editor. Some believe Oolon is based on Adams' friend
Richard Dawkins.
Poodoo is a representative of the cloning company responsible for all the
Lintilla clones. He arrives on Brontitall with
Varntvar The Priest on a mission to 'revoke' the three Lintillas there by marrying them to their anti-clones, each of which is named
Allitnil. The marriage certificates are actually legally binding forms that make the signers agree to terminate their existence, and the unctuous Poodoo may therefore be a lawyer of some sort.
After two of the newly married couples disappear in unsmoke, Arthur shoots the third Allitnil dead and, after tying up Poodoo and Varntvar, forces them to listen to a recording of Marvin's autobiography, so as he says, "It's all over for them."
Poodoo only appears in
Fit the Twelfth of the radio series, in which he is played by
Ken Campbell.
Prak was a witness in a trial on Argabuthon. What the case was is not known, but it is unimportant. The white robots of
Krikkit broke into the court room to steal the Argabuthon Sceptre of Justice, as it was part of the
Wikkit Gate Key. In so doing they may have jogged a surgeon's arm, while the surgeon was injecting Prak with truth serum, resulting in too high a dose. When the trial resumed, Prak was instructed to tell "the Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth", which, due to the overdose, he did. People at the scene had to flee or risk insanity as Prak told every single bit of the entire truth of the entire universe and all of its history, much of which they found ghastly. Prak recalled that many of the weird bits involved
frogs or
Arthur Dent. As a result, when Arthur Dent came to visit him in search of the truth, he nearly died laughing. He never did write down anything he discovered while telling the truth, first because he could not find a pencil and then because he could not be bothered. He has therefore forgotten almost all of it, but did recall the address of God's Last Message to His Creation, which he gave to Arthur when the laughter subsided. He died afterwards, not having recovered from his laughing fit.
Appears in:
Life, the Universe, and EverythingOn radio he appears in
Fit the Eighteenth and is voiced by
Chris Langham, who had played Arthur Dent in the very first
stage adaptation of the scripts of the first radio series, in
1979.
Mr L. Prosser is a somewhat nervous but nevertheless perfectly reasonable
motorways contractor who perfectly reasonably would like to do his job: building a
bypass right through Arthur Dent's house. Very little is known about the man except for his predilection for little fur hats, his
marital status (married), a desire to live in a small
cottage with
axes above the door (although Mrs. Prosser would prefer
climbing roses), a direct
patrilineal descent from
Genghis Khan, and occasional visions of
Mongol hordes, which were a result of his nomadic ancestry. He unfailingly addresses Arthur as "Mr Dent".
After some negotiation (with Ford Prefect in the novel, the television series, and the computer game but by Mr Dent in the radio series) he is temporarily convinced to take Mr Dent's place blocking the bulldozer threatening his (Mr Dent's) house whilst Mr Dent and Ford nip down to the local
pub. While they are away, he quickly resumes the demolition of Mr Dent's house despite the earlier agreement, but is once again interrupted, for good this time, by the Vogon demolition of Earth.
Prosser holds the distinction of having the very first line of dialogue ever in the Hitchhiker's Guide canon, as he is the first character (not counting The Guide itself) to speak in Fit the First of the original series.
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy*
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (computer game)On radio, he was played by
Bill Wallis and appears in
Fit the First. On television, he appears in
Episode One, played by
Joe Melia. He is played by
Steve Pemberton in the
movie version. He appears in
Fit the Twenty-Sixth in the fifth radio series, despite not appearing in the book
Mostly Harmless, voiced by
Bruce Hyman.
The
Vogon Captain in charge of overseeing the destruction of the Earth,
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz is sadistic, even by Vogon standards. When not shouting at or executing members of his own crew for insubordination, Jeltz enjoys torturing hitchhikers on board his ship by reading his poetry at them, then having them thrown out of an airlock into open space.
Physically, Jeltz is described as being unpleasant to look at, even for other Vogons. Given that
Ford Prefect describes Vogons as having "as much sex appeal as a road accident", one can only imagine how much worse Jeltz must appear. This may explain his disposition.
It is revealed in
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe that Jeltz had been hired by
Gag Halfrunt to destroy the Earth. Halfrunt had been acting on behalf of a consortium of psychiatrists and the Imperial Galactic Government in order to prevent the discovery of the Ultimate Question. When Halfrunt learns that
Arthur Dent escaped the planet's destruction, Jeltz is dispatched to track him down and destroy him. Jeltz is unable to complete this task, due to the intervention of
Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth, Zaphod's great-grandfather.
In
Mostly Harmless, Jeltz is once again responsible for the destruction of the Earth, this time presumably killing Arthur, Ford,
Trillian, and Arthur's daughter,
Random.
"Prostetnic Vogon" may be a title, rather than part of his name, since during the second episode of the third radio series (Fit the Fourteenth), two other Prostetnic Vogons are heard from.
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyThe Restaurant at the End of the UniverseMostly Harmless*
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (computer game)In the first radio series, he was played by
Bill Wallis. On television, it was
Martin Benson. In the third, fourth and fifth radio series, he was played by
Toby Longworth, although Longworth did not receive a credit for the role during the third series. In the film, he is voiced by
Richard Griffiths.
Questular Rontok is the Vice President of the Galaxy. She is desperately in love with
Zaphod Beeblebrox, the fugitive President of the Galaxy, and he knows it, as she unsuccessfully tries to hide it. Throughout the
feature film, Questular alternately tries to arrest Zaphod for stealing the
Heart of Gold (even enlisting the help of the
Vogons), protects his life (when endangered by Vogon blaster fire), and at one point beseeches him to just give the stolen spaceship up. Questular appears to be the "doer", performing all the real functions of the Presidency, whilst Zaphod enjoys his status as the figurehead President. After
Trillian repeatedly zaps Zaphod with the
Point-of-view gun and he learns that she is truly in love with
Arthur Dent and not him, he and Questular end up together at the end of the film. Questular is also severely jealous of Trillian for obvious reasons, until Trillian and Zaphod part as lovers. In the early drafts of the film the character was male, and therefore somewhat different. In a deleted scene on the DVD, Questular expresses her love for Zaphod shortly after all the Vogons become depressed.
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie, played by
Anna Chancellor.
A disillusioned teenager and the in-vitro progeny of Arthur Dent and Tricia McMillan,
Random Frequent Flyer Dent is left in her father's care by her mother during the narrative of
Mostly Harmless. She befriends the new, extremely sinister version of the Hitchhiker's Guide, in its guise as a Poe-reminiscent black bird. Apparently inheriting her father's chaotic influence on the universe, she becomes indirectly responsible for the destruction of all possible Earths.
Early in
Mostly Harmless, Random's father,
Arthur, travels from planet to planet by donating to "DNA banks". At first he donates hair, nail clippings, and the like, but he finds that for semen, he can travel first class. This is both Random's origin (
Trillian originally thought the donor was anonymous before realizing who the only other remaining human in the Universe was) and most likely the reason for her middle names.
Appears in:
Mostly HarmlessIn the final radio series,
The Quintessential Phase adapted from
Mostly Harmless, she is played by
Samantha Béart (formerly known as
Sam Burke).
Rob McKenna is a man who can never get away from rain and he has a diary to prove it. In fact he gets rained on so much that he has identified 231 types of rain and recorded them in a book. Rob McKenna is, despite not knowing it, a Rain God who is cherished by the clouds, though the feeling is anything but mutual. Arthur suggests that he could show the diary to someone, which Rob does, making him a media sensation. After the publicity McKenna assumes a lucrative job of not travelling to cities for money.
Appears in:
So Long, and Thanks for All the FishIn the radio series, he appears in
Fits the Nineteenth,
Fits the Twentieth and
Fits the Twenty-First and is played by
Bill Paterson, who also played one of the
Arcturan Megafreighter crew in Fit the Seventh.
Roosta is a hitch-hiker and researcher for the Guide, whom Ford Prefect knows, at least in passing. He carries a special towel with nutrients in one end and barbecue sauce stains scattered about, which can be obtained by sucking the towel (certain bits of the towel taste vile beyond all imagining, and for this reason, one part of the towel also contains anti-depressants). He saves Zaphod Beeblebrox from a horrible death in the offices of the Hitchhiker's Guide (by taking him into the artificial universe in Zarniwoop's office), and is then kidnapped along with Zaphod and the left-hand tower of the Guide building by a squadron of Frogstar Fighters. In the radio series, he serves no other purpose than to provide conversation (and deliver the line "here Zaphod, suck this!") while the pair are travelling to the Frogstar: however, in the books, he tells Zaphod Beeblebrox to climb out of the window onto the surface of Frogstar World B: this ensures Zaphod remains in Zarniwoop's universe and can survive the
Total Perspective Vortex.
Appears in:
The Restaurant at the End of the UniverseOn radio, he was voiced by
Alan Ford.
The Ruler of the Universe is a man living in a small shack on a world that can only be reached with the use of an
Infinite Improbability Drive. He does not want to rule the universe and tries not to whenever possible, and therefore is by far the ideal candidate for the job. He has an odd,
solipsistic view of reality: he lives alone with his cat, which he has named
'The Lord' even though he is not certain of its existence. He has a very dim view of the past, and he only believes in what he sees with his eyes and ears (and doesn't seem too certain of that, either): anything else is
hearsay, so when executive-types visit to ask him what he thinks about certain matters, such as wars and the like, he tells them how he feels without considering consequences. As part of his refusal to acccept that anything is true, or simply as another oddity, he even talked to his
table for a week to see how it would react. He does sometimes admit that some things may be more likely than others â€" e.g. that he might like a glass of whiskey, which the visitors leave for him...
In the radio adaptation of
Mostly Harmless, Ford also meets Zaphod in the accounting department of the new Guide offices. Zaphod describes being bored by a man in a shack and his cat for over a year.
Appears in:
Fit the Twelfth of the original radio series.
The Restaurant at the End of the UniverseReferenced in:
The Quintessential Phase of the Radio SeriesHe was voiced on radio by
Stephen Moore (in the original
Radio Times listing he was announced as being played by
Ron Hate - an anagram of "A.N.Other" - because the show was so far behind schedule that the role had not been cast when the magazine went to print).
Russell is Fenchurch's burly, blonde-moustached, blow-dried brother. He picks up Arthur Dent in his car after he arrived on Earth at the beginning of the fourth book. Arthur and Russell take an instant dislike to each other but this is also the first time he meets Fenchurch, his lover and co-flyer to be - albeit she is asleep or in a comatose/fugue state and only utters one word - "This" - then lapses back into wherever she is. Fenchurch also doesn't like Russell - he calls her "Fenny" which she dislikes intensely. He also tries to simplify her problems so he can explain and understand them better (for example, he tells Arthur that Fenchurch believes herself to be a hedgehog).
He first appeared in the book
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, and when this was adapted to radio appears in
Fit the Nineteenth, where he is played by
Rupert Degas.
Shooty and
Bang Bang are Galactic
policemen. They pursue Zaphod Beeblebrox to the planet of Magrathea, whereupon they proceed to shoot at him. In the radio and television series, this results in a large computer exploding and throwing Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect and Zaphod forwards in time to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. In the books, Arthur, Ford and Zaphod are saved from certain death when Marvin talks to the cops' spaceship, which subsequently becomes so depressed it commits suicide, disabling the cops' life support units and rendering them unable to breathe as they were described as being "methane breathers."
Bang Bang and Shooty appear in
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Bang Bang was played on radio by
Ray Hassett and on television by
Marc Smith. Shooty was played on radio by
Jim Broadbent and on television by
Matt Zimmerman.
In the Illustrated Guide to the Galaxy, the pair are played by Douglas Adams and Ed Victor (his literary agent).
The pair were written as parodies of
American cop show characters, particularly
Starsky and Hutch. The characters are never named in dialogue or in the novels, but are named in the original radio series scripts.
Slartibartfast is a
Magrathean, and a designer of planets. His favourite part of the job was creating
coastlines. The most notable of his designs were the
fjords found on the coast of
Norway on planet
Earth. Slartibartfast won an award for this coastal design work. When
Arthur Dent and
Ford Prefect were on ancient Earth, they saw Slartibartfast's signature deep inside a glacier in ancient Norway.
When
Earth Mk. II was being made, Slartibartfast was assigned to the continent of
Africa. He was unhappy about this, because he wanted to make more fjords, and fjords in Africa would be hard for him to explain without natural
glacial movement.
In the event, the new Earth was not required and, much to Slartibartfast's disgust, its owners suggested that he take a quick skiing holiday on his glaciers before dismantling them.
In
Life, the Universe, and Everything Slartibartfast has joined the Campaign for Real Time (or CamTim as the volunteers casually refer to it, a reference to
CAMRA which is largely lost on foreign audiences) which tries to preserve events as they happened before
time travelling was invented. He picks up Arthur and Ford from
Lord's Cricket Ground with his
Starship Bistromath, after which they head out to stop the robots of
Krikkit from bringing together the pieces of the
Wikkit Gate.
Douglas Adams writes in the notes accompanying
the published volume of original radio scripts that he wanted Slartibartfast's name to sound very rude, but still actually broadcastable. He therefore started with the name "Phartiphukborlz", and changed bits of it until it would be acceptable to the BBC. He came closer to achieving this aim the following episode, with the double-act
Vroomfondel and Majikthise. He adds to this statement in
"Don't Panic: The Official Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Companion", an analysis by
Neil Gaiman.
"...One thing I don't think I explained in the script book was that I was also teasing the typist, Geoffrey's (Perkins) secretary, because ... she'd be typing out this long and extraordinary name which would be quite an effort to type and right at the beginning he says 'My name is not important, and I'm not going to tell you what it is'. I was just being mean to Geoffrey's secretary".
Douglas AdamsHe appears in the books
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and
Life, the Universe, and Everything.
In the first radio series and on television, he was played by
Richard Vernon. He appears in
Fits the Third and
Fourth on radio, and the corresponding
Episodes Three and
Episodes Four in the TV version.
In the
third radio series, he is a major character and is voiced by
Richard Griffiths (due to the death of Richard Vernon). In the 2005
theatrical movie, he is played by
Bill Nighy.
Thor is a figure in
Norse mythology. He first appears at
Milliways, and is mentioned in
Fit the Fifth of the radio series,
Episode Five of the television series, and the book
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. He has no lines in either of these.
He next appears in the book
Life, the Universe and Everything, at a party, where he is chatting up
Trillian. Arthur tricks him into stepping out of the (flying) building by challenging him to a fight. In the radio adaptation of this he appears in
Fit the Sixteenth, where he is played by
Dominic Hawksley. Hawksley reprises the role in the radio adaptation of
Mostly Harmless, the
Quintessial Phase, despite not appearing in that book. Two other characters from the Restaurant -
Max Quordlepleen and
Zarquon also appear.
Thor also appears in the
Dirk Gently novel
The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul.
Trin Tragula was a speculative philosopher who invented the
Total Perspective Vortex basically in order to annoy his wife. His wife thought he was an idiot who needed to "have some sense of perspective", exhorting her view frequently. When he attached his wife to the Total Perspective Vortex, the shock of seeing herself in relation to the rest of the universe instantly annihilated her brain. Although he was horrified by this, Trin Tragula found some satisfaction in discovering that the one thing that a person cannot afford to have in a universe this size is a sense of perspective.
He has only four lines in the programme, accompanying
Poodoo and
the Allitnils in the conspiracy to destroy
Lintilla's clones.
Varntvar is eventually forced to listen to a tape of Marvin's autobiography.
He appears only in
Fit the Twelfth of the radio series, in which he is played by
Geoffrey McGivern.
A quiet young talented student at the University of Maximegalon who, after drinking some
Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters with
Zaphod Beeblebrox became obsessed with the problem of what happens to all his used
ballpoint pens. Interestingly enough, Zaphod has an extremely profitable second-hand ballpoint pen business...
Appears in:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxySee
Majikthise and VroomfondelThe Wise Old Bird is the leader of the
Bird People of
Brontitall. He does not like saying the word "
shoe", as he and the bird people consider it unspeakable. The Bird People live in the right ear of a thirteen-mile-high statue of Arthur Dent, constructed by their ancestors.
The Wise Old Bird appeared in
Fit the Tenth of the original radio series. He was voiced by
John Le Mesurier.
John Watson aka
Wonko the Sane lives in California with his wife, Arcane Jill Watson, in a house called
The Outside of the Asylum (which features interior features on its outside and exterior on its inside). When Wonko saw
instructions on how to use a toothpick on a packet of
toothpicks he became convinced that the world had gone crazy and so built the house as an asylum for it.
Arthur and
Fenchurch pay Wonko a visit and learn that like the both of them, he had also received a fishbowl from the dolphins (having been a
marine biologist and close to them). He also claims to have seen angels with golden beards, green wings and
Dr Scholl sandals, who drive little scooters, do a little coke and are very cool about a lot of things. Arthur and Fenchurch discover the truth behind this after they have seen
God's Last Message to His Creation.
Appears in:
So Long, and Thanks for All the FishIn the radio series, he is played by
Christian Slater.
Wowbagger is an
alien who became
immortal due to a strange accident involving an irrational
particle accelerator, a liquid lunch and a pair of rubber bands. After becoming immortal, he did everything one can do in life, several times, becoming terribly bored of everything. Due to his unnatural immortality, he was unable to handle his condition, and so he became extremely revolted with everything in the universe, especially all the living beings on it. He then made a plan that, despite being rather impossible and foolish (and he'd be the first to admit it) would at least keep him busy. The plan was: he was going to insult, personally, all the living beings in the universe, in alphabetical order. To this end, he builds a special
space ship and
computer capable of tracking exactly what life-forms exist in the universe (including all births and deaths) in real time. He appears in the third book,
Life, the Universe and Everything, while insulting
Arthur Dent with the phrase: "Dent, you're a jerk... A complete asshole". In the US-edition of the book, the insult is changed to "...complete kneebiter". At the end of the book, he almost insults Dent a second time, since the first time Dent was on Earth at 2 million years BCE, and Wowbagger's second encounter with Dent was on the planet Krikkit two million years later.
Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged is described as having "pale grey-green alien skin which has about it that lustrous sheen that most grey-green races can only acquire with plenty of exercise and very expensive soap".
Besides appearing in the
Hitchhiker-series, Wowbagger is present in
The Private Life of Genghis Khan[2], an independent
short story by
Douglas Adams. Wowbagger insults
Genghis Khan, provoking him to burn down large segments of
Asia.
In the new radio series, he is voiced by
Toby Longworth. In the Quintessential Phase, he finally reaches the end of his list of people to insult and insults the Great Prophet
Zarquon, who insults him back and removes his immortality, killing him (to great applause).
Appears in:
Life, the Universe, and EverythingYooden Vranx is the late former President of the Galaxy, the one before
Zaphod Beeblebrox. Just before his death, Yooden came to see Zaphod and presented his idea to steal the
Heart of Gold. He also convinced Zaphod to lock out one part of his brains so that no one could figure out why Zaphod ran for the presidency. Before becoming the President of the Galaxy, Yooden Vranx was a captain of an Arcturan megafreighter.
Zaphod and
Ford Prefect first met Yooden when they were children on
Betelgeuse. Zaphod had souped up a trijet scooter and he and Ford raided Yooden's megafreighter on a bet. After storming the bridge with toy pistols and demanding
conkers, Yooden gave them both conkers, food, booze, and various other items before teleporting the pair back to the maximum security wing of the Betelgeuse state prison.
The great-grandfather of
Zaphod Beeblebrox,
Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth is one of two active characters in books who are
dead (see also:
Hotblack Desiato). When
Arthur Dent inadvertently freezes the systems on board
Heart of Gold at the same moment
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz attacks, the younger Zaphod holds a seance to contact Zaphod the Fourth.
Zaphod the Fourth berates his great-grandchild for being generally self-absorbed and learns of the ship's imminent destruction. He stops time so he can continue deriding Zaphod, who tries (rather weakly) to defend his life. Zaphod the Fourth saves the ship and crew to keep his great-grandchild and his "modern friends" from joining him in the afterlife.
When he learns that the ship had seized up to solve the dilemma of either making tea (in
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe) or figuring out why Arthur would want dried leaves in water (on radio, Fit the Ninth), he solves these problems before leaving by either leaving a pot of tea in the Nutri-Matic Drink Synthesizer or by explaining to
Eddie that "he's an ignorant monkey who doesn't know better", respectively. In the book Z.B. the Fourth approves of the tying up of all computer resources to make tea - unlike everyone else present on the
Heart Of Gold at the time, including Arthur who originally made the request of Eddie.
As a final note, Zaphod explains that his great-grandfather is "the Fourth" due to an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine. Zaphod the Fourth, therefore, bitterly refers to his great-grandson as "Zaphod Beeblebrox the Nothingth".
Appears in:
The Restaurant at the End of the UniverseHe was voiced on radio by Richard Goulden.
Zarniwoop works in the offices of the Guide, on
Ursa Minor Beta. When Zaphod travels to Ursa Minor Beta to meet him, he is informed that Zarniwoop is unavailable and too cool to see him right now. He
is in his office, but he's on an intergalactic
cruise. Zaphod subsequently discovers that Zarniwoop's intergalactic cruise has been spending 900 years on
Frogstar B, waiting for its complement of small
lemon-soaked paper napkins, and every single passenger has aged considerably despite enforced hibernation. Only one person, who was not a passenger, but who hid himself on the
spaceship, has not aged – Zarniwoop. Zaphod subsequently learns that, before he sealed part of his own
brain, he was collaborating with Zarniwoop to find out who rules the universe â€" this being Zarniwoop's obsession. In the books, Zarniwoop is marooned on
The Ruler of the Universe's planet by Zaphod et al. and is stuck outside the only shelter for weeks in driving rain, because The Ruler is unsure as to whether Zarniwoop's desperate thumping on the door is real or not. At the end of the second radio series, he is similarly marooned, but this time by Arthur, with Ford Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox for company.
In the Quintessential Phase radio series, Zarniwoop is revealed to be the same person as the
Mostly Harmless character Van Harl (Zarniwoop is his first name), and a Vogon in disguise. He has escaped being left on the desolate planet and is masterminding the Guide's new all-powerful format.
Appears in:
The Restaurant at the End of the UniverseLife, the Universe, and EverythingOn the radio, Zarniwoop Van Harl is voiced by
Jonathan Pryce. His casting was accidental â€" he had been hired to play a different role (the
Ruler of the Universe, whose lines had apparently not been written in time). He was happy to return for the final series, however, when a lot more was revealed about the character, much of it appropriately sinister, Pryce now having become well known for playing villains.
Zarquon is a legendary
prophet. He is apparently worshipped or held in some religious significance by one or more of the Galaxy's major religions. His name, like that of
Jesus on
Earth, is frequently invoked as an expletive of surprise, anger, or awe. An apparently short form, Zark, and various compounds (
What in the name of zarking fardwarks...) is also frequently used in the books.
Exactly what Zarquon taught is unclear; most of the Zarquon mythos centres around a prophesied Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon, although this is often invoked in the sense of "never" (like, "when hell freezes over"). Zarquon's second coming does actually occur—at
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Since the said restaurant occurs an infinite number of times at the end of the universe, due to a specially created time-loop, Zarquon's impossible appearance at the restaurant became finitely improbable (possibly even 100% probable), and therefore happens just before the universe ends.
The second coming is not particularly spectacular, and Zarquon turns out to be a bit distracted and hurried when he arrives. He had a lot of things to do, and apologizes for being late, but disappears before he can say much because the
Universe ends.
"Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish" is an expletive phrase used, but not explained, by
Zaphod Beeblebrox when he faces extreme danger.
He appears in the radio series in
Fit the Fifth, where he is voiced by
Anthony Sharp, and in the book
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. In the television series he appears in
Episode Five, and is played by
Colin Bennett.
He returns in the adaptation of
Mostly Harmless to radio,
The Quintessential Phase, despite not appearing in that book. This happens along with two other characters who originally appeared in the Milliways scene,
Max Quordlepleen, and
Thor. He was played by
William Franklyn, the new voice of the Book.
Zem is an affable swampdwelling
mattress (probably of very high quality) who flollops around
Squornshellous Zeta and tries his best to cheer up Marvin the Paranoid Android, who became stranded on the planet after having one arm welded to his side and one leg replaced by a steel pillar which turns out to be of immense importance, with utterly predictable results. Zem is also the witness to Marvin's
abduction by the Krikkit war robots.
Also note that "Zem" is the name of
all Squornshellous Zeta mattresses.
Appears in:
Life, the Universe, and EverythingOn radio, he is voiced by
Andy Taylor.
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Races from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy  |
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Hotblack Desiato Estate Agents – the real estate agent so named above.
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Wowbagger.com – a tribute page to Douglas Adams and his character that includes a random insult generator applet and software.
