Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide is an American live-action situation comedy on Nickelodeon that debuted in the channel's Sunday night TEENick scheduling block on September 12, 2004 in the US. The series' actual pilot episode aired in September 2003 without many of the present version's main characters. As of February 21, 2006, Nickelodeon also airs the show weekdays at 6:00/5:00c p.m.. New episodes now air Saturday nights at 8:00/7:00c p.m.. This is the show's third season, which will air in the fall of 2006-2007.

Nickelodeon's United Kingdom network airs the show Mondays - Fridays at 3:30 p.m., and France2 recently acquired the rights to air the show in France (new, blank templates for the tips in the show were created by Jack Allison and Joshua Marx for the foreign airings). The visual effects are done by John Allison Inc., supervised by John Allison and Robin Snelson. The show is produced by ApolloProScreen GmbH & Co. Filmproduktion KG in association with Jack Mackie Pictures, its main executive producer and creator is Scott Fellows, the head writer for The Fairly OddParents, which is why in the short titled "Day Dreaming", which aired on February 5, 2005, Cosmo and Wanda appeared. Fellows also created a new show on Kids' WB called Johnny Test and former The Wonder Years star Fred Savage is one of the show's directors. The other executive producers are Jörg Westerkamp and Bill O'Dowd. Rich Magallanes is the executive in charge of production.

A book based on the show featuring real tips, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide Book of Top Ten Lists, will be released on paperback on September 1, 2006. [1] It will be published by Scholastic Press.

In Spain and Mexico, the show's title is translated to Manual de Supervivencia Escolar de Ned; in Brazil, to Manual de Sobrevivência Escolar do Ned; and in Germany, to Neds ultimativer Schulwahnsinn.

Premise

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide takes place in California at James K. Polk Middle School. It centers on Ned Bigby, a 12- or 13-year-old seventh grader at the school. Throughout each episode, Ned breaks the fourth wall by giving tips to the viewing audience at home on different subjects, such as the first day of school, school dances, backpacks, and trying out for a sports team. Ned's two best friends are Jennifer Mosely, known as "Moze", and Simon Nelson-Cook, known as "Cookie." While Ned's tips are serious, they usually take place in silly situations.

Each 30-minute episode contains two 10-minute shorts, both of which deal with a subject about school life. Ned, Moze, and Cookie all end up in situations in each short where Ned's tips are needed, and by the end of each short, everything is resolved.

The show is very popular with many viewers, and some of those are viewers who have lost interest in Nickelodeon, even with the popularity of The Fairly OddParents and SpongeBob SquarePants. Those viewers say Ned's Declassified... reminds them of the Nickelodeon of the late 1980s and 1990s with its smart humor. Younger viewers have said they try the tips the show gives them, and that they work.

Devon Werkheiser, who plays "Ned," has hosted the premiere of the Nicktoon The X's with short segments before and after commercial breaks; entitled "Devon's Super Stoopid Secret Spy Guide." He, along with Lindsey Shaw (Moze) and Daniel Curtis Lee (Cookie), hosted a show before this year's Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards, giving tips on how to prepare to win a Blimp (the show's version of an Academy Award).

Characters

Kids

*Ned Bigby (played by Devon Werkheiser) is the main character and a seventh grade (season 1-2) and eighth grade student (season 3-until) at California's James K. Polk Middle School. He's the show's title character, and the one who gives tips throughout each short, and always ends up learning something, which he makes into a tip. Ned is a "school survival genius" according to Moze, but you could say, and since those tips come from him, he's able to help himself do the one thing he wants to do with his middle school years - enjoy them! It has been mentioned that he decided to start the guide after being rescued from the girls bathroom by the substitute teacher, Mr. Weiner.
*Jennifer Anne "Moze" Mosely (played by Lindsey Shaw) is Ned's best friend and next-door neighbor. Moze is strong, somewhat insecure and a tomboy. Moze is a powerful girl and knows how to stand up to a bully or a psycho. When Ned and Cookie are in need of some tips, they sometimes turn to Moze, but, soon look for Gordy for some 'manly' advice. Even though her advice was made by the superior girl mind, as quoted by Moze in New Semester. She is fond of Math and Woodshop, and in fact crafted her own wooden locker door after Gordy destroyed it. It has always been suspected that there is some true feelings between Ned and Moze. In the segment "Rumors", a rumor is started that Ned likes Moze. It is during this time that it is stated that Moze doesn't feel that way toward Ned and vice versa. Later their possible relationship arises in the segment "Yearbook, in which Ned spends so much time with Mose in order to save her from her love interest Jock Goldman, who Ned believes will hurt her emotionally, that the two are voted best couple in the year book. The next bring of this relationship would have to be the season finale " Double dating and Last Day of school". In the first half of the episode, Ned becomes Suzie Crabgrass's official boyfriend. Suzie and Ned have not kissed yet but she admits to Moze that she is going to let him kiss her at the end of year dance. Ned tries to kiss during the dance what he believes to be Susie but ends up to be *Moze. Later in the segment " Last day of school", she and Ned tell Susie of the kiss and Ned is still going out with Susie but as they talk about the kiss on the bus home, they both say that the kiss meant nothing but then they kiss again,still saying it meant nothing but their nervous facial expressions gave them away.This shows that their is definelty something between the two. If the episode guide for season three on this site is correct than we can expect a lot of boyfriend/girlfriend episodes with such segements as "Boys and girls', Relationships and love, which we all look forward too.
*Simon "Cookie" Nelson-Cook (played by Daniel Curtis Lee) is Ned and Moze's best friend. He's "half-man, half-machine," according to Ned. Cookie's glasses are actually the screen of a computer, which he uses in everyday life. When he's seen using his glasses as his computer, he's usually hacking into the school's universal computer system to change something, except grades, because he knows he could get expelled for doing so. He operates his computer by using a mouse from his pocket attached to a cord on his glasses. He also has a printer in his pants called the "printer-pants" which he uses to print things like the voter poll he used while Ned ran for seventh grade president. He often invents wacky devices which invariably turn on him. An unrepentant packrat, his locker is always overflowing with bits of circuitry and other electronic components. He generally displays a self-confident manner, but can descend into a nearly paralyzed panic-stricken state in a split second. Cookie is also the son of very rich parents, but he doesn't want to the kids at school to know so he has a limo drop him off at Ned's house every day and he takes the school bus with the regular kids.
*Suzie Crabgrass (played by Christian Serratos) is one of the most popular girls in the school. Ned, whom she's nice to most of the time, has a crush on her, and Moze is her chief rival, although it is implied throughout the show that they could make best friends if they didn't try to hate each other. For example, Moze tries to have a test which she claims to be for the yearbook, but ends up being a "best-friend test." She later finds out that the person who got a hundred had copied the answers from Crabgrass. She's co-captain of the school's volleyball team. The other co-captain - Moze. At the beginning of the second season, they became best friends, but still remained very competitive with each other. This became a problem when they were trying to join a school club, and caused them to get kicked out of nearly all of them. She seems to have on and off romantic feelings for Ned, but this is often distracted by Billy Loomer and Seth Powers. In the first season, Seth was the one who kept Ned from exacting on his feelings for Suzie. In the second season, Loomer was the main distraction, as Suzie began dating him, but their relationship was put to a halt, due to Loomer two-timing her with Missy Meanie. In season 2's last episode, she becomes Ned's girlfriend.
*Seth Powers (played by Alex Black) is a player on the school's boys' basketball team. He is so obsessed with sport that he is never seen without a basketball, except for a few times at the lunch table. In the episode Guide to: Crushes & Dances he even left his then-girlfriend Suzie for his basketball. He can't read or write well so he hands out tickets for games to get people to do his homework. His good looks and his talent for playing basketball get him by. Moze has a crush on him, and is dating him in the second season. Former girlfriends include Suzy Crabgrass and Stacy Oboe.
*Lisa Zemo (played by Rachel Sibner) is a new student at Polk Middle School. She's sweet and nerdy, and often needs nose spray to battle her many allergies. She states she only has 23% use of her sense of smell. She has a not-so-secretive crush on Cookie, and often schemes to spend time with him. She is the 7th grade class treasurer.
*Coconut Head (played by Rob Pinkston) is a nice kid with a very bad haircut, which Ned describes as a 'last-minute Mom-job'. His real name is never revealed, so he is always called Coconut Head by the teachers, and even in the yearbook. A talented singer, he remains a favorite target of Loomer. When unnerved, he usually throws up his hands, screams in terror, and flees--occasionaly in tears.
*Martin Qwerly (played by Tylor Chase), often referred to as "Martin Qwerly, Smart and Squirelly", is a good kid who talks very fast. He never runs out of topics to talk about. For added humor, someone who wants to ignore him, place a cutout of him/herself in their place. He is part of a large family whose names all start with "M." He is the 7th grade class vice-president, but acts as the president because the real president is the hairy weasel who wanders around school. Martin is the unknown true identity of "Le Forger", the school's best note forger, whom, for a box of coconut macaroons, will write a note to a teacher for any student who needs one. 20 boxes of coconut macaroons will gain a student his personal pager number. Cookie used the latter to his advantage, and was soon having lobster lunches and even massages during a class.
*The Huge Crew is a trio of female bullies, led by Doris Trembly (played by Jennifer Hyatt), and completed by Mandy Crew (played by Jherimi Carter) and Sandy Crew (played by Cathy Immordino). In order to join The Huge Crew, one has to "love being tough, and love talking about Ned", the latter being their favorite part, and the part that creeps Ned out. They each have a big crush on Ned.
*Claire Sawyer (played by Brooke Marie Bridges, niece of Diff'rent Strokes star Todd Bridges), is commonly referred to as "Claire Sawyer, Future Lawyer." She's already practicing law, and uses lawyer lingo, such as "no further questions." She's very helpful in any jam, even one Ned can't get out of. (According to Ned, Moze, and Cookie, they've known her since pre-K.)
*The Killer Bees are some of the most hated people at Polk Middle, The Killer Bees dominate spelling bees, and intimidate fellow students by spelling at them. The group consists of the Queen Bee (played by Krystal Acosta), the King Bee (played by Carlos Pena), and the Stinger (played by Sean Michael). Cookie once considered joining the "Killer Bees" in one of the episodes.
*Billy Loomer (played by Kyle Swann) is a bully who loves to beat up people, but also has a sensitive side - a very sensitive side, as he has a massive crush on Moze. He was dating Suzie Crabgrass, but they broke up when he accidentally told about him seeing Missy Meanie while dating Suzie. Missy broke up with him, also. Bully Loomer is a dumb and weak person when it comes to Moze. But Moze hates him because he is a bully and beats up Ned and Cookie.
*Crony (played by Teo Olivares) is Loomer's follower. Crony always repeats what Loomer says and cannot bear the idea of thinking for himself and going with his own flow. In Detention after Crony ran out of the sewing club because he thought it was detention Mr. Monroe said he was the best sewer in the school. We get proof in School Clubs when Mr. Monroe showed a carefully sewed and gorgeous dress Crony knitted, and in Dares when Moze was dared to put on a frilly dress (he was seen sewing and behind him were a rack of other gorgeous dresses that he obviously made.) He and Buzz temporary followed P-Cookie (a rapper stage of Cookie's), and Suzie Crabgrass.
*Buzz (played by Reccie Cannon) is Loomer's other follower. He has a bald head, and never speaks, except for the occasional interjection, and usually just nods his head. As said above, he and Buzz temporary followed P-Cookie (a rapper stage of Cookie's) and Suzie Crabgrass.
*Backpack Boy (played by Kendre Berry) has a crush on Claire Sawyer, Future Lawyer, and carries around a backpack that's so heavy, it usually causes him to fall to the ground. He has two lockers, both of which lead to a room full of backpacks that no one but he or Ned knows about. Rumors about Backpack Boy being a superhero are actually true.
*Timmy Toot-Toot (Played by Kelli Miyata) Student at Polk infamous for his explosive flatulence. Ned switched lockers with Lisa Zemo to get away from him. He considers his condition to be a super-power of sorts. He routinely "Toot-Toots" a warning before unleashing one of his blasts.
*Chandra Taylor (played by Marquise Brown) is a character whose rarely seen, but is a friend of Moze's, but not the best girl friend Moze is looking for.
*Missy Meanie (Played by Carlie Casey) is a cheerleader and one of the popular girls in school. Ned actually asked her out on a date, but only because he was dared to. It was said in that very same episode, that Ned and Missy got on very well, seeming to like the same things. In that same episode, Missy over-heard Ned saying the date was a dare, and broke up with him right there on the spot. She is usually seen ridiculing and tormenting less-popular kids and wearing pink.
*Albert Wormenheimer (Played by Stephen Markarian) is a character seen in the second season. He is very nerdy and constantly talks aloud to his "inner voice". Known to like math and to be on the School Choir. The actor who plays him was originally cast to be Boogie before being told that he was too tall for the role. Boogie was replaced by Cookie when the newer version was released in 2004. Also credited as "Sweaty Boy" (sans the Albert glasses) in the short "Backpacks."
*The Oboe Twins Stacy and Tracy (Played by Alex and Addison Hoover) are sisters who always dress alike and are constantly in each other's company. First seen performing on their musical namesakes at the talent show, they ultimately join Ned's Math study group and later are split up by a scheming Ned and Moze to become Ned's possible girlfriend and Moze's possible best girlfriend. However, without Stacy, Tracy developed the bizzare penchant of imitating the characteristics of anybody she was left alone with--which sufficiently creeped out both Ned and Moze.
*Stu (Played by Landon Taylor) Originally credited as One-Bite (not to be confused with the later character seen in "Lunch") for his talent of how much he could fill his mouth with at any one time. He is a large good-natured bespetacled classmate of Ned and Cookie's. He literally froze in place when attempting to ask Chandra Taylor on a date. Often seen joining groups (Cookie's shyness/Missy's Helpful Hints), he may hold a position in student government as he (Randy Jackson) joined Treasurer Lisa Zemo (Paula Abdul) and Vice-Principal Crubbs (Simon Cowell) in judging Spirit Week candidates in a parody of American Idol.
*Vanessa Cookie's older Girlfriend who's not quite sure she should date him. In one episode, Cookie, thinking his grandma was her herself, due to a way to get out of relationships by using a "Grandma Excuse", pushed her down the stairs. Just then, Vennesa went to Cookie and broke up with him. In Science Fair, a chain reaction made Cookie look like Frankenstien and Ned look like a mad scientist.
*Bitsy Johnson (Played by Spencer Locke) She is a popular girl (especially in the first season of the show). She is known all across the Seventh Grade at James K. Polk for getting kids in trouble by making them pass notes. First she writes a note to another popular girl, especially if they are on the other side of the person she hands the note to. She hands it to the kid, and sometimes could make a lot of noise or just time the pass just right. Then a teacher (usually Mr. Sweeny) turns around catches the kid with the note. Ned Bigby's punishment was writing a 1000 word report on Chlorophyll.
*Jock Goldman (Played by Ben Hogestyn) Upperclassman athlete who once used Moze to get his girlfriend jealous. Later came to seemingly develop a sincere affection for Jennifer. He was willing to stay away from her as long as she appeared happy "dating" Ned. Later despite Moze having adopted a hideous disguise to discourage her math Tutees, Jock still found her appealing. When Jennifer finally agreed to go out on a double date with him, Jock had strong doubts as to whether she really preferred Ned--doubts which were realized when he witnessed Ned and Moze kissing. Stating that he probably deserved it, Jock left the scene.
*"Scoop" (Played by Vincent Martella) The school photographer. Dresses and talks like a cub newspaper photographer from New York City in the 1940's. Although Ned is a favorite subject of his (he says Ned can't take a bad picture) only one photo of Ned (with Moze as "class couple") made the yearbook.
*Candy Manderson (Played my Vanessa Workheiser--Devon's real-life sister) A cheerleader and one of Missy Meanie's followers.

Adults

*Mr. Monroe (played by Jim J. Bullock) is Ned and Cookie's life science teacher. He's full of life and talks effeminately, although no rumors about his character's sexuality have popped up yet (Bullock, however, is openly gay in real life, however due to the possibility of controversy, it is highly doubtful that this particular aspect will be explored on the show). As their homeroom teacher, he is the one the kids turn to for help most often. He is also the boys' basketball coach. The character's name is a reference to the character Bullock played on the 80s sitcom Too Close for Comfort, named Monroe Ficus.
*Gordon(Gordy) (played by Daran Norris of The Fairly OddParents) is the irresponsible school janitor. He's obsessed with nabbing the weasel that became seventh grade class president, and is very eager to join in any of Ned's (or sometimes Cookie's) schemes, but almost never cleans anything, and is often heard saying, "I'll let the night guy get that." Gordy also has found himself in a couple awkward situations in the first season that make him look like a has-been spy. In the episode, "Guide to: Your Body & Procrastination", he sounded like Jorgen Von Strangle when he imitated Arnold Schwarzenegger. Also, when he wanted Billy Loomer to be either tough or wimpy, he imitated Loomer and Crabgrass with two dolls. The Crabgrass doll's voice sounded like Cosmo.
*Mr. Wright (played by Meshach Taylor, who is most famous for playing Anthony in CBS' Designing Women) is Ned and Moze's ancient history teacher. He's smart and has a love for classical art, and he also runs the school's annual talent show, which all the students dread going to. Wright also coaches the Cross Country team.
*Ms. Dirga (played by Kim Sava) is Ned and Cookie's highly-strict gym teacher. Ned once knocked out her two front teeth (intentionally) with a dodgeball to get out of the 7th grade class presidential election. It didn't work - she praised him, and then endorsed him. She is commonly just called Dirga.
*Mr. Sweeney (played by Don Creech) is Ned and Moze's evil science teacher, whose character has been toned down a bit since season one. He treats his students rather harshly, and many consider him "insane." He occasionally uses unconventional means to teach his students. For example, when Ned had to study for a Science test, but never paid attention, Sweeny made up a story about "the Golden Notebook" in his classroom, the most perfect notebook made by a student. Ned stole it and used it to study, but Sweeny caught him. However, he gave Ned an A because he learned enough to pass the test. He also uses radar to track the speed of students going down the hall and writes "tickets" (such as detention or demerits)like a police officer would if he catches you going over 5 miles per hour.
*Dr. Xavier (played by Luisa Strus) is an 8th grade math teacher, presumably from a former Soviet country (due to her Eastern European accent). She is often thought of, like Mr. Sweeney, as insane. Cookie was placed in her class, and successfully caused her to loosen up, and threw a party. She has some very strange habits, such as placing her face in front of the overhead projector, and has a passion for electricity. She also has a crush on Gordy.
*Mr. Gross (played by Steve Bannos) is one of Cookie's teachers. He doesn't shower or brush his teeth. No one likes being around him. He is the moderator at the annual spelling bee. The first person to misspell a word has to sit next to him for the rest of the bee and read words other students have to spell. Moze had to sit by him when she was the first one that spelled a word wrong. She and Gordy "cleaned him up" a bit.
*Rose the Lunch Lady (played by Loni Love) can see the future in the vegetables (peas or beans) she serves to the kids. Once, she saw in Ned's beans that the Los Angeles Dodgers would win the 2004 World Series. This would be proven untrue in real-life, as the Boston Red Sox would win. This so far is the only prediction that didn't come true. She now teaches the cooking class at the school.
*When the action at James K. Polk Middle School becomes worthy of an ESPN-style presentation, real life sportscaster Van Earl Wright and former Olympic Games competitor and member of the Super Bowl XX-winning Chicago Bears Willie Gault chime in with play-by-play and color commentary while working for the fictional television station Channel 6-and-a-half Sports, a "station" that was created for sketches on Nick's Saturday Night Live-style variety show, All That.
*Vice Principal Crubbs, (played by Hamilton Mitchell, whose first feature film was Caddyshack), debuts in the second season. Very authoritative and always has shades. He acts like Miami Vice, from his white linen suit to his Florida Office decor, and his first crime solving covers a mysterious woodshop attack and cheese puff's "cheedle" residue. His last name is a combination of Crockett and Tubbs, the two main characters on Miami Vice. His old college nickname was "Dr. No," because he apparently said "NO