Virginity
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In Roman times, Vestal Virgins were strictly celibate or they were punished by death. |
In its broadest sense,
virginity is characterized by a state of unimpacted purity, usually stemming from a lack of experience (for example, newcomers to the game
Bingo could be referred to as virgins). Traditionally,
virgin is used to describe a person who has not engaged in (penetrative)
sexual intercourse. This use is traditionally restricted to a person who has not yet engaged in vaginal intercourse, especially a woman, but it is sometimes used to describe someone who has not engaged in
sexual activities in general. Also, someone can be referred to as an "
anal virgin," being a virgin to anal sex (specifically receiving anal sex). The status of "
virginity" is sometimes respected and valued in certain societies, especially in relation to views of many religions on
sexual conduct before
marriage. The term
maiden is also sometimes used to mean a virgin, although that can also refer to an unmarried woman, generally supposed to be young (though there are contrary usages such as "maiden aunt").
Among
human females, the
hymen is a
membrane, part of the
vulva, which partially occludes the entrance to the
vagina and which is often physically torn when the woman first engages in
sexual intercourse. Hymens vary in thickness, shape, and flexibility. The presence of an intact membrane is often seen as physical evidence of virginity in the broader technical sense. The absence of one, however, is not necessarily an indication of participation in sexual intercourse, since in some women the hymen is either absent from birth, or sufficiently
vestigial not to be affected by sexual penetration. Also, the hymen can be broken before a woman engages in sexual intercourse, for example during strenuous exercise or during the insertion of a tampon. Conversely, in rare cases a woman's hymen is imperforate, and as menstrual discharge cannot then escape, surgical intervention to break it is necessary to protect her health.
In some cultures, women are not regarded as virgins after a
sexual assault, but some people disavow this notion. There are also those who take this "spiritual" concept of virginity to its maximum, considering "
born again virgins" to be virgins, regardless of their past sexual conduct.
In males, there is no physical indicator of virginity; however, there may be social indicators, such as possible sexual anxiety and a lack of sexual knowledge.
Female virginity is closely interwoven with personal or even
family honor in many cultures. Traditionally in some cultures (especially those dominated by Christianity, Islam and Judaism, as also Hinduism and the other Indic religions) there has been a widespread belief that the loss of virginity before marriage is a matter of deep shame. In these traditionally patriarchal societies, wealth is inherited from a man to his eldest son. Therefore, it is/was particularly important for a man to know his wife was a virgin so that disputes to estates could not arise; similarly, today the heir to a throne must marry a virgin for a similar reason.
In some cultures (for example the
Bantu of South Africa), virginity testing is commonplace. This would typically involve personal inspection by a female elder.
Traditionally in western marriage ceremonies, a veil is taken as a symbol of the bride's virginity; the
white dress is also commonly considered a sign of virginity. The extent to which this symbolism is accurate is unclear, given that some women may choose to wear white even if they are no longer virgins. This may even hold true for women who are assumed to be non-virgins (for example, those involved in a second marriage), but the practice is not universal.
Some elements within Western culture no longer regard premarital virginity as a virtue and may allude to it disparagingly. The increasingly-common belief of some Western youth that virginity is not to be regarded as a virtue has become a matter of considerable debate, especially related to controversies involving
sexuality among young people. Continuing virginity after a certain age is even regarded by some to be a negative thing, implying that the person is unattractive, prudish or sexually immature.
The philosopher
Bertrand Russell, in his book
Why I Am Not a Christian, argued that to avoid sexual relationships before marriage was naive and unwise, and that to do so would in the long run lead to far more unhappiness than if sexual activity is engaged in. This is based on the idea that if one is ignorant of sexual desire and fulfilment, one will not be able to distinguish between a deep infatuation and what may be known as true affection, and thus may make an unfortunate choice of partner based upon misconception - a mistake that would not be committed by those aware of the distinction.
Some historians and
anthropologists note that many societies that place a high value on virginity before marriage, such as the
United States before the
sexual revolution, actually have a large amount of premarital sexual activity that does not involve vaginal
penetration, e.g.,
oral sex,
anal sex and mutual
masturbation. This has been termed
technical virginity or
hot virginity.
Loss of virginity
The act of
losing one's virginity, that is, of a first sexual experience, is commonly considered within Western culture to be an important life event and a
rite of passage. It is highlighted by many
mainstream Western
movies (particularly
films aimed at a teenaged audience). The loss of virginity can be viewed as a
milestone to be
proud of or as a
failure to be
ashamed of (particularly if a lack of
self control was involved), depending on cultural perceptions.
Historically, these perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived
gender roles, such that for a
male the association was more often with pride and for a
female the association was more often with shame. (See
Double standard.) However, in recent years in Western culture, the influence of gender roles has weakened so that it is now much more common for females to experience pride, although
fathers are still often portrayed as being disapproving of and highly concerned about the loss of virginity for their
daughters.
The
partner during the loss of virginity is sometimes
colloquially said to "take" the virginity of the virgin partner. In some places, this colloquialism is only used when the partner is not a virgin, but in other places, the virginity of the partner does not matter. The
archaic term "deflower" is sometimes used in modern times to also describe the act of the virgin's partner, and the clinical term "defloration" is another way to describe the event.
Mythology
Virginity has been often considered to be a virtue denoting purity and physical self-restraint and is an important characteristic of some mythical figures such as the
Greek goddesses
Athena,
Artemis, and
Hestia. The
Vestal Virgins were strictly celibate priestesses of
Vesta. The Maiden or Virgin is one of the three persons of the
Triple Goddess in many
Neopagan traditions. The constellation
Virgo represents a wide selection of sacred virgins.
Christianity
Some Christian observers say that virginity indicates a requisite state of holiness in terms of
sexuality before marriage. Most Christians believe the
New Testament of the
Christian Bible forbids pre-marital sex of any form, while life-long celibacy is encouraged (
Matthew 19:12). The
Virgin Mary is a very important and holy figure in the
New Testament and the
virgin birth of Jesus is of key note.
Medieval Christian society viewed the loss of virginity as sinful, but not the worst of sins. In
Dante's Inferno fornicators occupied more comfortable spaces than sinners of violence and deceit. In his
Canterbury Tales ,
Geoffrey Chaucer's
Wife of Bath remarks that if virgins are so special, then where do they come from?
Islam
Islam provides very strict conditions that sexual activity must occur only between married individuals. Quotes such as 'Do not even go near Fornication' (
Al-Israa 17: 32), are testament to this. While a young bride's virginity has traditionally been very important in Islamic societies, the common practice of
divorce and remarriage, even in very traditional societies, means that many women enter marriages having had previous — licit — sexual experience.
Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, as a forty-year-old
widow, was of course not a virgin when she became the first wife of the
Prophet Muhammad; this was not any bar to their marriage.
Judaism
One of the most fundamental aspects of Jewish tradition is the great significance attached to virginity. It appears in Judaism as early as the verse in Genesis, referring to Eliezer's encounter with Rebekah: 'And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her' (Genesis 24:16) and is a recurring theme throughout the Bible, especially with regard to the laws governing betrothal, marriage and divorce.
However, in practice, Judaism is fairly lenient about sexual relations. Sex is not seen as dirty or undesirable - in fact, sex within a marriage is considered a
mitzvah. The more liberal denominations (
Reconstructionist Judaism,
Reform Judaism, and
Conservative Judaism) are relatively open to pre-marital sex: while it isn't encouraged, per se, it is not ignored, either - rules governing sexuality still apply, etc.
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Celibacy*
Involuntary celibacy*
Chastity*
Mary, the mother of Jesus, often referred to as the "Virgin Mary"
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Promiscuity*
Queen Elizabeth I of England, known as the "Virgin Queen"
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Sexual abstinence*
Virgin at Dictionary.com, an exposition of the many possible meanings of "virgin"
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Magical Cups and Bloody Brides by Heather Corinna - Explores the historical context of virginity in a frank and easy-to-understand manner.
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20 Questions About Virginity - Interview with Hanne Blank, author of an upcoming book on virginity. Discusses relationship between hymen and concept of virginity.
