Expert: Michael Troy - 9/1/2006

Question
i am a Female, 18, dating a 14 year old male.

we met over the internet and talk for about a month befoer he asked me out, we don't talk about anything that had to do with sex, nor have we ever,

but since its been over the internet i was afraid that our love would be illegal, we have called each other and ive even went and seen him, with his mothers permission of course.

His mother fears for me, about the law and doesn't want me to see him anymore till hes older, shes worried i will get arested, so can i put her mind at rest or must i wait four years to see him talk to him again,

please if you can't answer then, give me a link where i can find the answer

                    thanks, Emily

Answer
Hi Emily,

Having sex with a minor varies depending on the State.  However, since that is not an issue, I won't get into that.

There is nothing illegal about having a non-sexual relationship with a minor.  As long as you are not doing something else like encouraging substance abuse or otherwise "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" there should not be any legal issues.

But there are reasons why society frowns upon relationships with significant age differences.  The two of you are going through rather different times of your lives.  At 14, your friend is still much more immature in many ways, even if it doesn't seem so to you right now.  

So even though there is no legal issue as long as things remain non-sexual (and that includes not doing lots of things well short of actually having sex) you may want to consider if this relationship at this time is the best thing for both of you.

I hope this helps!
- Mike