Expert: Kristen Brannock, MPH - 11/28/2008

Question
I'm 13 now.I just turned 13 in september.But I don't know if I was molested when I was a litte girl.Maybe it was all a dream but I remember that it was thunderstorming.And I was about 4 and I was really terrified of thunderstorms.So my dad had came over and him abd my mom were about to.Have sex.Well they realized that I was really afraid of thunderstorms so they invited me in with them.Now all I can remember is something grabbing my leg in the dark.All of this keeps ringing in my memory.Hopefully this was a dream.But does it sound like I was molested.Nevertheless,my dad has cheated on my mom every since I was little with this woman who would sleep with anyone,and she could have any STD or anything and what if my dad caught it or something?Then that would mean that I have it but the thing is that,I have had many physicals since then and if I had caught anything,wouldn't it had showed in the physicals by now?Every time I talk to my mom about abstience,she says that I am a virgin.I used to make my barbie doll shave sex and I even told her one Christmas "I hope someone touchesme down there." I was about five or six and she had to put some ointment down there because I had a rash.

And also,every since I was six,I had a crush on my gym teacher and I would think about "sex" with him such as him kissing me or him doing bad stuff to me sexually.So once I turned nine,the crush kind of stopped.But now my sexual thoughts have goten much much worse.So in my imagination,I am married to a guy named Eric and I have three kids named Alder,Jacqui,and Lissette.But imagine doing "things" with "Eric" such as regular sex,bondage sex,kinky sex,gentle sex, and hardcore sex.It's on my mind every single day.There's literally not a day that goes by that I don't think of it and I do't know why.It's been on my mind since I was eleven.This has all been hapening since I was six and that's not normal,is it?

Nevertheless,I'm 13 now and I used my mom's wash clothe.Well we use it on the same area.And she has a scent in her vaginal area,she told me,and I have the same scent.When I take a bath,I get rid of the odor but then it comes back.I have little bumps down there but they're barely there,you can barely even notice that they are there.Nevertheless,I eat some stenchy foods also.I don't really itch down there either.But I have a bad odor.I use different kinds of soap and some make the odor worse.My urine doesn't normaly burn unless I have a rash down there or something.I have eczema so that's why my arms and legs are broke out but the bumps on my vagina don't break out or anything,they don't even itch unless I scrub too hard down there.But me and my mom have used the same wash rag on our vagina so does it sound like I have an STD or something?I have had my period for about two years now.The bumps are in my vagina but you can't tell that they are even there thought.I have started to masturbate and sometimes my hands are not clean when I do so and sometimes I spit on my vagina when I masturbate,yes I know,it's disgusting.And I don't wash down there on Saturdays or sometimes Sundays.If I had an STD when I was four if my dad did molet me,then wouldn't it had shown in the physicals?Does it sound like I have an STD or something?If I have an STD,I will probably kil myself!I can't live with myself if I have one!I wouldn't be able to get married or have kids.So all of that would be down the drain.So does it sound like I caught something?I've had the scent for a long time.Sometimes the scent is mid and other days,it's very loud.I am not at all sexually active.

Please just answer the questions,I know that I should see a doctor but what is YOUR advice?

What if this woman had sex with a guy that had aids and my dad had sex with her and my mom had sex with my dad,and I used her wash rag,does that mean that I now have it too?
My mom had a papsmear and everything and it all came back okay.

If I have ANYTHING,I will consider suicide deeply.

Answer
Corrina

Even though I cannot completed answer your questions, I thought I would still respond and give you this information.

1. If you are considering suicice for ANY reason, please please please talk to your mother or someone you trust.

2. The only way to know if someone is HIV+ is to be tested- there is no other way to know.

3. I cannot speak to what is "normal" or not normal but I can tell you that it's really common to be thinking about sex at this age. Puberty is a common time for exploring one's sexuality. Children are also curious so I wouldnt use your curiosity to assume you were molested.

4. You mention vaginal odor- the vagina has a scent but it shouldnt be "bad". If you notice the smell stronger after using soap, that makes me think of bacterial vaginosis. This is not a sexually transmitted disease but something that can happen when the pH balance is off in the vagina- it can happen if you use scented or perfumed soaps in the area, be a result of detergent etc. You would need to see a doctor to be diagnosed and to get treatment but it is a benign infection. You would just take some pills and it would clear up- like an ear infection. So, I suggest that you see your doctor so you can clear it up but it is not a sexually transmitted infection. No need to worry about that.