Expert: Gorkey Gourab - 1/12/2009

Question
QUESTION: I'm so sorry that this question might be long but i wondered if you could help me. My friend brought me some earrings recently from a well known retail shop for Christmas (so she says). They were not gold. i wore them for a few hours and when i took them out i had pain in both ears but not at the same time. The pain would go in one ear and then in the other. This happened last week and i have continued to have the pain. i went to the doctors the day after having the pain and he asked me if i had any flu like symptoms and i told him just a sore throat but this was the day after i wore the earrings. i have read other questions that you have answered about if there is any blood on the item and it is dry then you cannot catch it. i wiped the part of the earring that entered my ear with my finger before i put it in(i don't know if that would help). sorry about babbling on but my question actually is if the earrings were HIV infected would i get the symptoms in my ears like i.e. the pain and what other symptoms would i get. i have however been receiving headaches as well as the ear pain and my ears at first had red spots on the lobe at the bottom but they have disappeared. Can you also tell me the likelihood of catching HIV through earrings. i could be worrying over nothing, my family say, I'm a hypochondriac hah.

ANSWER: Hi Chelsea!

Merry Christmas and happy new year!

The way you described the question helped me a lot to understand the context. Thank you for making time to explain this. The good news is: there is no chance of being infected the way you described. And the symptoms of AIDS take long time to appear (few years). So, enjoy your new year!

Best regards.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello again, i was wondering if you could give me some advice. Just recently my boyfriend has been receving texts from his old friend from school. Aaron (my boyfriend) has told me that his friend that has been texting is gay. Anyway recently he text and Aaron text back to him "Doe u get it F*** off. This has put it into my mind that Aaron is gay. Another thing that has made me think this is, he text me the other night and asked me whether i ever thought about being a lesbian, this has made me think that he has considered being gay. He is into things like cars & tools and he works as a mechanic but i am unsure whether this would take him out of the gay category. I asked him and he just didn't seem bothered that i accused him of being gay and just said "no i ain't". i asked him are you sure and he says yeah and i left it at that. what would you in my case?

Thank You x

Answer
Hi Chelsea!

Welcome back! It's too personal in nature. Human sexuality and desire is so diverse ... and there's nothing 'bad' of being a gay or lesbian. If he's sexually involved with you, and you are sure that he's in male to male sexual relations as well ... then he's a bisexual. Now, the problem is, are you considering a long term commitment (like being married etc.)? If "yes" then you can sit with him and discuss the whole issue clearly that you don't like him in his current identity. If I were you, and was confirm that he's maintaining sexual relation with others, I would give him choices ... "choose me or him/her."

But the first thing is that you must be sure of his sexual orientation and identity. Simple fun and misunderstanding may lead to unrecoverable mistakes ... for which we have nothing but repenting later on.

Dear Chelsea, these are my personal opinions. It's your life. Think rationally. Think what's better for you and what you prefer. The whole life is ahead of you. In our country, the human rights activists sometimes make fun saying that justice hurried is justice buried! As a friend (if you consider me one), I would suggest you to take you time to think of the whole situation and not being bothered by others' imposed decisions ... take suggestions ... but make your own decisions.

Best regards,
Gorkey