Expert: Terry B - 3/20/2008

Question
I met this woman online in China. We had sex but it was protected. I did have oral sex with her and she thinks she has hiv vause of her symtoms. she was never diagnosed becasue in china its a big thing to have it and it would desroy her since she is a single parent. the reason why she thinks she has it is becasue she has not been feeling well the past year so she went to  a clinic. They treat all patients with Iv fluids (no blood) adn she heard that they re package needles butshe always feesl tired, has a lump on her neck even though its not pronounced and she has stomach aches. she will go but I feel she does not have it. what do you think. she is very traditional chinese so she does not sleep around.

Answer
Dear Ramon:

Peace.  If you read through this column you will find many admonitions against trying to diagnose HIV infection from symptoms; there are many, many reasons why she may have had these symptoms, and the only way to know her HIV status is through testing her blood.  It is irresponsible to diagnose online without examination; it is doubly difficult to even offer an opinion for a third party.

What we can do is talk about you and your risk.  Any exposure to the blood or vaginal fluids of another puts you at some risk for HIV transmission, though the frequency and duration of the exposure, amount, viral load, and other factors increase or decrease the risk.  At this point, your best bet is to go to a trusted health provider and/or a counseling and testing center and discuss your risk openly and be tested for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

I wish you and your friend in China the best; HIV testing can be a difficult step for some people; it is especially so in areas where stigma adds to the barriers for learning about and taking charge of health.

For more information on HIV, I suggest www.thebody.com or www.avert.org as two very informative sites.

Again, best to you and yours.

Terry