Expert: Terry B - 5/5/2008

Question
Few days ago I had an unprotected sex with a man,being myself bottom.He used to penetrate inside me without a condom but NOT ejaculating.I have seen that he has got no precum and no wounds.I got really worried about it.I know the risk is high though.I got tested in February and I was negative.What am I supposed to do now???I'm really really worried..shall wait another 2-3 months to do the testing??I live in Southeastern Europe

Answer
Dear Mikhael:

Peace.   The safest way to protect yourself is, of course, abstinence, mutual monogamy with an uninfected partner, or, for what you describe, use of a condom.  I'd question your (or anyone's) ability to guarantee no precum or absence of lesions by physical inspection, especially in a time of passion.  The only way to determine HIV status is by a test.

That being said, if he did not ejaculate, the amount of fluids to which you were exposed is less than if he did.  While, as you note, it is a significant risk, your risk is less than it might have been.   Reducing the frequency of your exposures and the amount of fluid to which you are exposed IS reduction of risk, albeit imperfect and partial.  

I would assume by your letter that this is not the first possible exposure you've had - I would recommend that you go to a testing site and read also online (www.thebody.com) about how to reduce your risk.

I think your best option at this point is to resolve to protect yourself and others from fluids in the next six weeks, research more effective prevention strategies, be tested at a voluntary counseling and testing site, and carry a condom with you at all times.

I do wish the best for you and yours.

Terry