Expert: Terry B - 9/25/2009

Question
I have a kinda long question. I was with a guy in Aug. 2007 with whom I had protected anal sex. A week later I met my current partner and we began a relationship. We both got tested for HIV in early Oct. 2007 and were negative.(That test had been exactly 8 weeks after my last sexual experience) We then started having unprotected anal sex, with him usually being the bottom. Then in Feb. 2008, I developed a mild fever which lasted no more than a day and a mouth ulcer that lasted no more than a week. I recently worried that was a symptom of HIV. Last week, my partner had blood work done for his life insurance and they did an HIV test. He was negative. That put my fears to rest at first, thinking than I must be negative as well. Then I started worrying that what if I still have it, but just didn't infect my partner. We have had a lot of unprotected anal sex over the last almost 2 years, with him as the bottom. If I really had HIV, wouldn't he have most likely contracted it by now as well?

Answer
Dear Mike:

Peace.  No, you can't use your partner's HIV status as an indicator of your own.  If you are positive, you may not have infected him, or you may have infected him too recently for an antibody test to accurately show his status (unlikely).  Please take the responsible step and go to a counseling and testing center, be tested for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, and take charge of your health.  

Best to you and yours.

Terry