Expert: Kristen Brannock, MPH - 6/21/2006

Question
I was wondering; I've been in a monogomous 2 year relationship with a trusted person. We've been upfront about our sexual histories etc. I am on birth control and started having condomless-sex (no ejaculation inside) for over a year now. 3 months ago I went in for my regular check up and decided to just be tested to be sure I'm fine (chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HPV, hepatitis, HIV). I had an HIV test about 3 months after meeting him: negative. Then when I had all my tests done, all came back negative as well, so that puts me at two negative HIV tests placed about 9-10 months apart. I trust him and my question was, with me being tested on everything and its negative and having sex without a condom, what liklihood is there that he could have HIV or any of those STDs? I have no reason to suspect but I've just heard so many bizarre stories that I can't sort out whats true or not. Thanks a lot!

Answer
That's awesome that you are taking such care of your health and being tested. Now, there is no way that you can conclude your partner's status based on your tests... you would think that since you two are sleeping together without condoms that if one of you had something, the other would have it too but that isnt always the case. For one, you mentioned that you are practicing withdrawal- semen transmits STIs so by practicing withdrawal you are helping keep any possibly infected semen out of your body. So, if he had something, by withdrawing he is reducing his chances of passing it to you... nothing is fool proof though. If you are concerned or would just like peace of mind, I would ask him to get tested with you and you two can go together. Most health departments will do it for free...I think it's great you two have such a trusting relationship so hopefully you can make this just another thing you two do together. And IF he turns up with something, it doesnt mean he cheated- sometimes STIs can lie latant. So, it is possible to be infected but not transmit it until much later to someone else. BUT from all you have told me, it seems that you are very healthy, with a very healthy relationship, so just make it a date- get tested then go out for a nice dinner. Let me know if you have any more questions.