Expert: Terry B - 10/10/2007

Question
This one is a bit long sorry..
Hello, I have not been tested for this disease. But I am considering it. But, part of me does not want to because I already have a chronic GI disease. That alone has completely turned my life upside down and it's taken me several years to get it back on track. Yet, I have not been sexually active for a few years because I have some new found religious beliefs. But, I have had unprotected sex in the past and in addition, in the past two of my partners had cheated on me and I found out about it later. I have always wondered about if I could be infected or not.But I don't quite know if I could handle news like that? But obviously it's something everyone should do. My question is that since I already have issues with health insurance,staying covered and not being able to tell anyone about my GI problems..what about HIV status? If I got tested and it came back positive - would I have to tell my insurance company? I know that typically health info gets reported to a health bureau etc. But if I did find out I was positive I would not seek any medical care about it temporarily - atleast until I could figure out what I needed to do with my life and situation. But obviously I would need to seek medical care for it at some point! So I know it would be inevitable. But also, part of the reason I am asking is that I have considered dating again and I plan not to be sexually active unless I'm married. But, I don't think it would be wise to get married without first making sure I wasn't positive since I have been at risk. I am talking to someone that I may be interested in and he is marriage minded. He also has abstained from sex too and from what I can tell is not in any risk factor. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated! Please and thank you! What are my rights with healthcare and what do I have to tell, what about an employer?

Answer
Dear V:

Wow!  Sounds like you are really struggling with this.  My wish for you is peace and let's take these things one at at time.

1) There are counseling and testing centers in most countries that allow you to remain anonymous and be counseled and tested for HIV (and often other sexually transmitted infections). Check your phonebook for hotlines and referrals.  Talk with a counselor and get tested, at least for the sake of your peace of mind.

2) When you receive your test results, you will have information (versus speculation) as to your status, and what options you need to address or pursue.  

3) AFTER you receive the test results, talk with the counselor at the testing center, and consider bringing your potential partner in for testing as well.  You will hopefully be able to tell him what a great experience and relief it has been for you.

4) Please let me know how your results come out; if you have trouble finding a center near you, I can probably give you some resources on that as well.

Again, peace and all good things to you and yours.  I look forward to hearing back from you.

Sincerely,

Terry