Expert: Terry B - 10/15/2007

Question
I've given my (ex) girlfriend... oral a few times... and once it turned out she was on her period... and well... I ended up swallowing blood... bfore we noticed. Turns out she had got her 'days' wrong...

I washed my mouth... and the blood off my skin afterwards... however... I sometimes get mouth 'wounds'... and dry/cracking/bleeding lips... I wanted to ask.. how high is the chance of infection (if she were to be HIV positive?)

I didn't give it a real thought for around 3+ months... but now i'm starting to worry and it's nagging me (i'm prone to paranoia... and i've got OCD... which makes it kinda worse)...

I'm scared at getting tested (I live in London  and i'm still looking for a free clinic (i'm a student) because I think i'd commit suicide if i were positive. My girlfriends 'ex'boyfriend was shady.... and well... I'm just worried.  

Answer
Dear Luis:

Vaginal secretions AND blood can both transmit HIV; the risk from oral sex is very low generally.  Odds are that even if she were infected, this would not translate to an infection for you.  Nonetheless, there are better things than "odds" to use in learning your status; as you know, a meeting with an HIV counselor and a test are the ways to learn your HIV status.  Keep looking for a free clinic; there are directories in London as well as very low cost and affordable access to healthcare, even (or especially) for students.

As for committing suicide:

1) Based on what you describe, I would anticipate you are HIV negative.  Knowing is less anxiety producing than guessing.
2) Even if you are positive, you live in a time when HIV treatment is better than it has ever been.  Living with HIV today means ongoing relationship with a provider who can track not only your health but the effectiveness of medications, prevent opportunistic infections, and access to support services.  A best friend of mine from college learned his status in 1991 and remains healthy and productive today.

Please consider a broad range of services that may be available to you through what I understand is universal access to health care in Britain.  There is counseling and treatment for OCD and your generalized fears, and working with a primary care provider will increase your health and level of comfort.

All the best to you and yours,

Terry