Expert: Terry B - 7/26/2007

Question
QUESTION: Dear Terry,

Thank you very much for all the answers you provide to distressed folks and those generally seeking information on this infamous disease.  

I have been in love with a gal I love so much for about a year.  On one occasion we had unprotected sex.  Three months later I checked my status out of routine.  The results were negative.  My galfriend checked five months later after we had unprotected sex and she was diagnosed positive. We both have not checked again but will do so soon. I love my galfriend and want to marry her.  The question is when can she go on HIV/AIDS medication?  Can we have children without infecting them?  Will appreciate your response.

Kind regards.

ANSWER: Dear Patrick:

Peace and all good things to you and your loved ones.  

If I understand correctly, your galfriend tested positive for HIV and you did not.  I do not know where you live or your access to care, but I suggest strongly that both you and she see a physician for confirmatory testing and evaluation of an appropriate medication regimen if needed.

Regarding your plans for marriage, and questions about children, there are some excellent resources online (for examples see www.aegis.org, www.thebody.com), and I will be brief as you have time and should research this a bit.

1) You can marry your partner if allowed by law in your area.  You should understand that if she is indeed HIV+, her medication and discussions about the relative risks to her health and yours should be part of an ongoing relationship with your physician.  

2) Whether or not either OR BOTH of you are infected, be aware that fluid exchange (unprotected sex) could put you either or both at risk of hastened illness and death.  HIV mutates within individuals, and a fluid exchange of slight variations causes a drain on the immune system and increases the chances of resistance to medication.  

Again, the best to you and yours, please avoid fluid exchange until such time as you know more about your status and are able to plan and act accordingly.

Terry

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you Terry for your prompt reply and very informative answers.  I can assure you that we have never had fluid exchange (unprotected sex)after my girlfriend was diagnosed positive.  I never used a condom before but she taught me how to use one and we have always used one.  However, we do kiss a lot and hope that HIV/AIDS is not transmitted via saliva as I have read on the forum.

Patrick.

Answer
Dear Patrick:

Peace and all good things.  Saliva does not transmit HIV, though, at risk of repeating myself, you should consult with your doctor(s) for confirmatory testing and evaluation of immune status.  If an immune system is compromised, other more easily transmitted infections can be spread during saliva exchanges.  Thank you for your reply and follow-up question, again, the best to you both.

Terry