Expert: Terry B - 12/18/2007

Question
Two days ago I went to the strip club with my friend and I only planned to get a lap dance with a stripper, but after the dance she convinced me to go to the vip room. She came back and got a condom for me and we went to the back and had sex. I don't know what I was thinking and I wasn't planning on losing my virginity to a stripper, but now I am worried. I wore the condom and I am pretty sure it didn't break. We had sex for like 7 minutes and after I went and washed myself off. I have started to think about how many other guys she has had sex with. Isn't it illegal? Now I can't stop thinking if I got and std from her. What should I do? I am going to go get tested, but if you wait to long is that bad? What are the odds of me getting something from her? Please help me I can't think anymore or concentrate and my parents are starting to wonder whats going on.

Answer
Dear Brandon:

Peace and all good things to you.  

Sexual intercourse between consenting adults occurs often; I won't try to address the legality of the situation because it is outside of my expertise and I don't know the details.  Let's focus after-the-fact on your health and relative risk.

Use of a condom significantly reduces, but does not eliminate, your chances of contracting HIV and/or other sexually transmitted infections.  Exposure to the blood, semen, and/or vaginal secretions of a person infected with HIV is how most people become infected.  The more of these fluids present, the greater the risk.  A condom, properly used, reduces the amount of exposure to these fluids across a smaller area, with significant reduction in risk of disease transmission.  

Presence of an existing sexually transmitted disease prior to exposure to HIV also increases risk.  I will assume that since you were not sexually active before this incident, you did not have a sexually transmitted disease at the time that this happened.  

Standard antibody testing for HIV infection is pretty reliable six weeks after the exposure; a negative result at six months is about as close to certainty as testing gets.  Waiting six weeks for an initial test and six months for confirmation test would be your safest bet.  While there are tests which can indicate presence of HIV as soon as seventy-two hours after exposure, these are a bit less reliable and considerably more expensive.

Since it is more than 48 hours since your potential exposure, there is little that can be done at this point to reduce your risk further.  I would suggest that you consider talking with your health professional, or going to an HIV testing clinic and meet with a counselor.  They can help you not only assess your risk and provide testing options, they can also provide specific advice on risk reduction for the future.

Part of growing up is having to deal with life on its own terms (what happens) versus how we would like to it to unfold (our plans).  As you cannot change the past, turn your energies toward learning from what has happened, dealing with today and planning for your future.  This means carrying your own condom and looking at the factors (pressure from another, influence of alcohol or other substances) which diverted you from your plans.  Remembering how you have acted in the past will help you get a better handle on today and be prepared for similar circumstances in the future.

Again, the best to you and yours.

Sincerely,

Terry