Expert: Terry B - 4/23/2007

Question
hi you all guys are wonderful and doing great job if came back alright i wan to be helping people with aids .now to my questio is 2 years back i indulged in risky behaviour that was insertive unprotected fellatio and frottage but no penetration at all .i dont noticed any bleeding durig fellatio which is my main concern for hiv infection,now i have to undergo an whole body medical test to get into a premium institute of my country but i know that i am infected and they will through me out .so please tell me what would be my faith ,i am realy freaking out because i dont have anyone to talk and i feel like i have done a crime by doiing this and GOD will punish me for this ,thank you and may GOD help us to find a cure soon.bye  

Answer
Dear Rahul:

Peace and all good things.  It can be difficult to harbor what you feel is a horrible crime; one of the advantages of this work is that we learn much about human sexuality and human behavior and I can assure you that many other people struggle with guilt and sexuality.  The bottom line is that you engaged in relatively low (HIV) risk behaviors; while perhaps still upsetting to you, these are in the past and can serve as learning experiences as you move forward.  There is a difference thinking we know ourselves and actually reflecting honestly and fearlessly upon our desires and behaviors and taking charge of our lives; even if that 'taking charge' means realizing our dependency on our God as we know and conceive God.  If you can grow to know and accept yourself, including your past and your dreams, you will be making a progress for which we all hope.

Because your incident was two years ago, I would strongly advise you to find an anonymous HIV counseling and testing site, sit down with a counselor and discuss your concerns, and be tested for the antibody to HIV.  This will give you the knowledge (versus suspicion or fear) that you need to be informed and move forward with your life.  Based upon what you have shared and described, I would anticipate that you will test negative for HIV, but knowing is better than guessing too.

Peace, good health, and continued personal growth to you and your loved ones.  Thank you for confiding in me and please follow my suggestion.

Sincerely,

Terry