Expert: Terry B - 8/27/2007

Question
I have been dating this guy for a few weeks who said he tested negative for HIV in the spring, and hasnt had any partners since then. I know they say not to brush or floss your teeth before oral sex, but I very lightly brushed them just to have fresh breath. I just ran the bristles over the teeth, tried not to touch the gums, and didnt see any blood when I spit out. I'm pretty sure he brushed as well, but dont know how hard. We then made out and had oral. It was at least a half hour later that he ejaculated on my chest, and after I very briefly put my mouth on his penis. I didn't really taste any semen, but am not sure if maybe I got a little drop in my mouth. I grew a little concerned that what if even brushing my teeth lightly and putting my mouth on him even for a second after he came was not a good idea? What do you think? Also, do you think kissing with tongue after brushing is very risky?

Answer
Dear Mike:

Peace.  Thank you for writing.  I have always wondered a little about the admonition against teeth brushing as preventative against HIV/AIDS - if one's breath is bad enough, I would guess it leads to less frequency of sex.

On a more serious note, any break in the skin or mucous membranes does create a potential "portal of entry" for pathogens such as HIV.  A person who reports negative HIV status is not necessarily "safe" for a variety of reasons, one of which is that someone recently infected will have high levels of virus prior to producing sufficient antibody to create a positive result on most tests.  

Fluids that transmit HIV are blood, semen, vaginal secretions, and breast milk; saliva does not transmit HIV and we hope that even passionate kissing would not result in a transfer of blood.  Your oral exposure seemed to be minimal, though his ejaculate on your chest is at least some minimal risk.  

I would recommend you research www.thebody.com about some risk reduction, including use of a condom (perhaps flavored?) during oral sex.  My mentor had some marvelous stories (and a display) of how a condom can be slipped unobtrusively into the mouth and used to reduce risk - with care to avoid semen, it might be even less risky than your described chest exposure.

I hope this helps a little bit, and wish you and yours good health in the future.

Terry