Expert: Diane Cheryl - 7/25/2008

Question
hi cheryl...i had a surgical abortion on june 23rd...a very difficult decision.  i am 37 yrs.old happily married with two very young....very beautiful children.  this pregnancy was a huge surprise.  my husband and i use condoms due to the fact that i cant take the pill.  (too many complications in the past) so...as you can see our method failed after 8 years of success. i knew that night when we finished that the condom must have broken..and it did.  the first part of my question is my doctor suggested the mirena.  i have researched it and i know that the hormone levels are lower and flow directly into your uterus...therefore im anticipating that my body may be o.k. from this. i was wondering if you had any experience with this and when do you think it would be safe to insert this.  not too keen on doing it until my body feels back to normal...which brings me to the next question ....am i going insane because i am deathly afraid of having sex with my husband now for fear of becoming pregnant?  we had sex with a condom twice since the procedure...i still have not had a menstrual cycle.  i did bleed for 2 weeks after the procedure and have had some brown spotting/light bleeding on and off but i feel like im going crazy.  i was convinced that i was pregnant last week and actually went out and bought a test.  my husband thinks im nuts.  ive also had all the signs of being pregnant still....swollen breasts, menstrual cramps all the time, brown spotting (which ive gotten with both my pregnancies) nausea.  am i crazy???  please help!!!

Answer
Hi Carmen,

Thanks for your question. When I first got married 15 years ago, I was really afraid that I would get pregnant. My daughter was 15 and I just didn't think I wanted to start another family at the time. I don't really know what to tell you. Are you a religious person at all? My daughter is a Christian (well, I am too) but anyway, her and her husband don't believe in birth control and believe that every child is a gift from God. Just wondered if you might consider that thought. I don't recommend any kind of hormonal birth control, even the Mirena IUD. I have read too many women complaining of side effects and ill health. So anyway, I don't blame you for being afraid of being pregnant if you don't want to be. What do you think of a spermicide or foam combined with the condom? You could also try Natural Family Planning which is charting your temperature and avoiding fertile days. You can ask Ramona a question about that on allexperts.com under Natural Family Planning. I hope I have given you some thoughts or ideas that might be helpful. If you think you really might be pregnant, go to a pregnancy resource center and find a local one to get a free test. http://www.optionline.org or call 1-800-395-HELP. If you aren't in U.S. then go to this website
http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp
Please email me at DCHERYL51@yahoo.com with your thoughts. Also, if you find you have any emotional problems or guilt from abortion, I can provide resources for that.

Sincerely,
Diane Cheryl