AboutPat G Expertise I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of six. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues.
Experience I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.
Education/Credentials I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.
Question QUESTION: I was wondering how you have to be to get an abortion. I am going to be taking a pregancy test tomorrow and I am scared it might be positve. Does someone thats 18 have to sign for you?
ANSWER: Amanda,
I assume you are asking how OLD you have to be. As for signing, it should be your parents. That said...
You are in a state of panic right now. People don't make good decisions when they are in a panic. Abortion is dangerous. It could kill you or render you disabled. It could destroy you emotionally. It could also cause long term harm. It's not worth the risk. Love yourself enough not to take those kinds of chances. You deserve better. You should find out all you can about abortion, the development of your baby (if you are pregnant), what the complications are, and so forth. You have time to do this, and to calm down so you can think clearly. The more you know, the happier you will be with your decision, whatever it might be.
Yes, I know that there is a claim that because abortion is legal, it's safe. Well, it's not. Abortionists are careless, and most of the abortion facilities won't pass basic health inspections. And even if they were careful, they can still maim or kill you. There are more women dying and being maimed than ever before. And more women are speaking out about how disastrous their decision to have an abortion truly was. I have talked to hundreds of women who regret it.
I won't help you hurt yourself. Please, stay safe! Don't take chances on such a risky thing. There is no need. If you really don't want your baby, choose adoption.
If you need to talk further, regardless of what decision you make, I will be here for you.
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QUESTION: Yeah, the problem is, the boy I was with is 21 and I'm not legal yet, and I know my parents, they would dmeand to know who it was and I would have to tell them. And since he is over 18 and I'm not he will go to jail for stat. rape. Even though I consented, it doesn't matter legally. If I did keep it how would I get through school?
Answer Hi, Amanda,
I can understand you not wanting your boyfriend going to jail. But you shouldn't attack your body to solve the problem.
There are lots of things to think about, and I'm just giving you my thoughts. Because you are a minor, I can only tell you so much, because I don't have parental authority over you.
I'd tell your parents that you will not cooperate to prosecute the father (if you are pregnant), because you did consent. If you feel you want to protect the father, don't answer their questions. Tell them you consented. If they get abusive, find a shelter and leave. Don't let them force you into an abortion, either. That's child abuse.
You can get help with all of this by going to a local crisis pregnancy agency. One of the things they do is help a teenager to deal with her parents. You can find one here:
As for school, many cities have provisions for pregnant and parenting students to complete high school, and some even provide child care during class. And you can always choose adoption. If you cannot attend high school, you can complete your diploma by taking correspondence courses or by taking classes online. You can also take adult classes (when you are older) or you can study on your own and get your GED.
Remember, your parents had the duty to teach you not to take chances. And he had the duty to protect you, and you had the duty to protect him. So this isn't a one-way deal.
By the way, I have one grandson who was born out of wedlock, and I love him just as much as the other five.
