Expert: Pat G - 10/12/2009

Question
i fell pregnant about 8 months ago and looked in to my options and felt as little pushed in to my abortion by my partner. it was a very difficult situation for me. after the abortion i was left lonely and alone. i found out i am pregnant again and am very scared about what to do? part of me wants to keep the baby but part of me thinks i will have to do it alone. i am 19 and not on a particularly good wage but think i could get buy to just support a baby but am looking for some advice?

Answer
Hello, Chloe,

I am sorry your partner pushed you to have an abortion you didn't really want. It sounds like he abandoned you afterward, too. It's not at all fun to think about having to raise a baby alone. But I urge you NOT to have another abortion. Abortion is not safe. It could kill you or leave you seriously disabled, and it could harm your future children. It could also cause you to be unable to get pregnant (the more abortions you have, the more likely this becomes) or to have a normal pregnancy. You are already at greater risk for breast cancer as the result of your first abortion. If it was your first pregnancy, and you have a history of breast cancer in your family, it is a virtual certainty. It can strike as early as when you are 35 or even earlier. Be vigilant. Mammograms are not wise; they can cause the cancer to spread and there are other tests that are safer and much more accurate. Also, be vigilant because the chance of experiencing a violent death in the year after an abortion is greatly increased. There are emotional repercussions.

Another problem is that repeat abortions become a habit. You are thinking of having a second one. In our experience, the cycle isn't broken until either a woman stops having sex, becomes unable to get pregnant, or carries a baby to term.

You aren't really settled on having an abortion, so it would be unwise for that reason to have one as well. Again, you are feeling pressure, in this case because you don't think you can make it. But you are a lot stronger than you think. Take one day at a time.

There are organizations that are there specifically to help people in your position. To find one near you, go here:

http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp

Find your country in the country list.

There are 238 in England, 22 in Ireland, 13 in Scotland, and 8 in Wales. There may be several pages. Click on "details" to get contact information.

Please don't risk your life and health this way. You deserve better. I will be here any time you need to talk. Let me know how you do.