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About Pat G
Expertise
I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of six. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues.

Experience
I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

Education/Credentials
I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Obstetrics/Gynecology > Abortion > Regarding Abortion And The Aftermath

Abortion - Regarding Abortion And The Aftermath

Expert: Pat G - 10/26/2009

Question
Hi Pat
Excuse me if my English is not to bright.
I am in desperate need of guidance.

3 months ago me and my Fiance was very much happy.
She was using a birth control pill at the time that she decided to stop using because it was affecting here skin.
She was normally a very bubbly person that knew what she wanted in life.
After she got of the pill we used condoms during intercourse..a month after she got of the pill she got pregnant...after long days of debate we decided it will be best to terminate the pregnancy.We went for a medical abortion and got the abortion pill.She has been bleeding now for almost 5 weeks and I finally got her to go to the doctor.Is it normal,what causes her to bleed for such a long time?
She normally gets a bit depressed,teary and feels bad about herself if it is her time of the month.Is it possible for her hormones to get the better of her...I mean she has been on a roller coaster for the past 3 months (1 month of the prevention pill,second she fell pregnant and third the abortion)
The reason why I ask this is because she ask me for space 3 weeks back to work through all the problems and she is tired and negative the last few weeks and she was never like this.
She would always tell me how much she loves me and how I am the man of here dreams.I can understand how she feels about the abortion , i don't think it is something anybody takes likely and it was also very difficult for me.I love her very much and I know God made us for one another.But she keeps telling me she loves me and don't want to put our relationship through all these stress while she works through all the sings in her head.She resonantly also got negative about herself and us... she thinks she is not good enough for me and are starting to doubt her work that she loved so much.I love her and decided to give her time on her own to sort out her head...so I moved out temporary but still send her letter to remind her what a great person she is and how much she means to me.
Can the fact that she is bleeding constantly for the past 4 and a half week make her feel so tired and her hormones cause her to feel this way...she feels that she doesn't know what she wants from live anymore and feels like there is no place for her.

Thanks
Jacques

Answer
Hello, Jacques,

I won't have a lot of time to write now because of computer problems, but will write more later.

If she is still bleeding, this is not acceptable. She could actually bleed to death. One thing she can do is take or eat cayenne (hot peppers). She would have to do this, probably, several times.

Her behavior is very common. Abortion really tears a woman apart emotionally. It should never be done on any woman who doesn't have a serious medical problem. It can be so devastating emotionally that a woman can become suicidal. She desperately needs some counseling, and it would be wise for you as well. I will be unable to give you a link at the moment, but go to Heartbeat International. They have a directory of organizations, and there are a few in South Africa. When I get my machine back, I'll give you an exact link.

You will need to protect her. Make it clear that you won't run the risk of pregnancy again. I can't tell you strongly enough how urgent it is that she get some counseling. Also, she needs to see a doctor about the bleeding.

I will have to wait to write more later. I will do so as soon as possible. Just let her know you care, and you will not put her at risk again. I will pray for you both.

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