Expert: Pat G - 12/11/2009

Question
Hi my name is jaylyn im 24yrs old and  I had an abortion.. the doctor had said I can't have sex for 2 weeks but my boyfriend and I  had unprotected  sex before the 2 weeks ... And now im really consern  ... will I b affected  and if so in what way...  

Answer
Hello, jaylyn,

I will speak to you plainly in the hopes it will be helpful to you.

I can't speak for the doctor, but most likely he asked this because you are susceptible to infection. When they do a surgical abortion (which is what it sounds like), they have to scrape away the lining of the uterus, and cut away the placenta. This leaves a raw wound, and an infection can easily gain access to a woman's blood stream. Nobody can say for sure whether a woman will get an infection, but to safeguard her, they will tell her not to have sex.

I am more concerned about something else. You and your boyfriend are continuing to have unprotected sex. If you continue this way, you will end up facing the very same situation that resulted in you having an abortion this time. Please rethink your lifestyle. If you don't want another abortion, don't have sex. Sex has a deeper meaning that people miss when they have it under such casual circumstances. To really appreciate and experience the deeper meaning, two people need to be bonded to each other in every way, and that includes being bonded through a promise before witnesses: marriage. Also, it is critically important for you to know that there is no such thing as "protected" sex. All of the methods have a failure rate. And sooner or later, a woman will experience this. If he is not willing to entrust himself to you through marriage, you cannot know whether you should entrust yourself to him.

You should also learn to tell when you are fertile. You can then abstain during that time, and reduce the risk of pregnancy. You have to chart faithfully, and you can't be using any hormones. For more information, go here:

http://www.fertilityuk.org/

I'm not suggesting that you should have sex when you are not fertile as long as you are not married. This is because the other problem is that a woman is always susceptible to infection, throughout the month, so if your boyfriend has ever had sex with anyone else, whether he has told you or not, you are exposed to whatever those other people have been exposed to. You should have yourself thoroughly checked for sexually transmitted disease and things like pelvic inflammatory disease.

I realize I have been forthright with you, and I hope this is helpful to you. Abortion is dangerous, and so are STDs. Please take care of yourself, and don't take any more risks with your life. Please keep in touch and feel free to ask me a question any time.