Expert: Diane Cheryl - 4/18/2009

Question
I never thought I would have an abortion and now I am a member in a "club" I NEVER want to join. My husband and I wanted another baby but when we found out it was twins, we totally freaked out, as we already have a 18mth old. And 3 babies under 2 terrified me. We agonized over our decision. At the same time, my husband lost his job and it seemed like a cute little life was just falling apart. I began having panic attacks and we eventually "gave in" to abortion as the only way to end our fear and anxiety. This was FEB.

The problem is, we still want to have another baby. Things in our life have improved, I am in counselling for my grief and guilt, and we want to try again in June (assuming my periods are normal by then).

I guess I am asking a couple questions...

First of all, my first period was nothing more than some brown spotting for a few days. Is that normal? I want to wait until my cycles are back to normal before we try again.

Secondly, I guess I want to be sure that trying again is "okay". We have talked through alot and know that even if its twins again, this time we will face it stronger and will more hope.

I still suffer with some really sad days, and I know that may happen for a long time. But in the meantime, I don't want to wait too much longer to try again because I am almost 37 and we are great  parents who really adore our son and want him to have a sibling.

I guess I am just needing to hear that I am not alone, I am not a bad person, and that its okay if life goes on. I do believe in God and his forgiveness, but am struggling to forgive myself for being "weak" and "scared" and taking the easy way out before.

Any help or support you could offer me would be appreciated.

Answer
Hello Karis,

I'm so glad that you asked me your question. I want to give you my private email so we can talk more that way. My email address is DCHERYL51@yahoo.com so hope to hear from you soon.

I'm sorry to hear your struggle and your story. I do offer post abortion counseling and would be glad to help you with that, free, of course. Oh, I just noticed that you said you are in counseling but I have other information that I might be able to help you with.

I can't tell you when you can try to get pregnant again. You would have to talk to your doctor about this. He or she would be able to give your information and professional advice. It's important for you to be well physically as well as mentally, emotionally before you start trying again. Are you not on birth control at this time?

The spotting could be normal and I would not worry about that but again, ask your doctor. Please let me know how else I can help you at this point.

Sincerely,
Diane Cheryl