Expert: Pat G - 6/12/2009

Question
Dear Pat-

I am currently 6 weeks pregnant with twins. I am in a very bad marriage, where the only thing my husband hasn't done is beat me. I have been thinking that getting an abortion might be the best thing for myself and my children, but I am now having second thoughts. Currently I am not living with my husband, but instead am living with my best friend, who is also the father of the twins. It's a long story, but he has been taking care of me since my marriage fell apart. He supports me in whatever choice I make.

My question is, what options do I have besides the abortions I read about? Could I try to put the twins up for adoption? or would they go to different homes? Also, do you know of anywhere that could give me some input on aborting twins? I have only seen websites that offer advice on aborting single babies..

I hope you can help.

-Ashley

Answer
Ashley,

Thank you for the wonderful rating and kind words.

And congratulations!

If possible, have your family member foster informally, without government involvement.

You sound like a resourceful person. I'm sure there will be difficulties along the way, but you'll make it! :)

Feel free to write any time.

Dear Ashley,

I am so glad you came to me before having an abortion!

As for aborting twins, it's not uncommon for one to survive, and I suspect most of the time, even though they're supposed to check, abortionists don't, so they don't even know whether they got everything. That's one reason for this.

If your best friend truly becomes informed about abortion, he won't support it. Otherwise, he wouldn't be your best friend!

Let me put this in clear terms. Your husband has done everything to you but beat you, and you have been considering doing something far worse to your children, who haven't done anything to you at all!

Yes, you most certainly can put your children up for adoption, and you can specify that they both have to stay together. You can also keep in touch with the adoptive family and find out how they are doing. You can choose the family. There are many wonderful options available to a woman who chooses adoption. Adoption is a difficult but loving choice. Abortion is far, far worse as far as choices go. And you might even decide to raise them. You can get help with any problems you face. You can also get help with adoption. Go here, and find an organization in your area:

http://pregnancycenters.org/

And abortion is dangerous. It could kill you or render you severely disabled. It can harm your reproductive system so severely that you cannot have a normal pregnancy or a normal baby afterward. It can make you much more vulnerable to breast cancer. It can result in becoming infected, including with nasty sexually transmitted diseases. Abortionists do not sterilize their instruments properly, and they re-use disposable instruments. Public health agencies have been shutting them down for these reasons.

Please protect your babies! Don't let them fall victim to your husband's hate. Let me know how you do. I will pray for you.