Expert: Pat G - 7/5/2009

Question
QUESTION: my boyfriend n i had sex last month on 21st day. i think I'm pregnant and i haven't had my period since than please tell me what to do. we're not yet ready to get married that's a plus. should i perform an abortion?? if so how???

ANSWER: Hello, Ms

When did you expect your period? That information is important.

Whatever you do, don't perform an abortion! Cipla is marketing a kit, and someone needs to prosecute them for killing women! There are a lot of women bleeding to death in India after using one of their kits. And there are a couple of other ways this can kill you. The methods they recommend are no longer used in the United States, for example, because they are so deadly. It's not worth the risk!

If you are pregnant, there is help available. Please let me know what part of India you are in, and I will see if I can help you find someone to help you with the problems you will face. Take care of yourself, and stay safe!

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: i expect my period last week. I'm in the north east corner of India at Mizoram. will i wait for another week? you know its killing me because deep inside i feel guilty of everything that's happening to me

Answer
Hello, Ms,

In that case, you can probably test by now, and may get a positive result if you are pregnant. If it tests negative, try again in another week.

I am not aware of any organization close to you, but what I recommend is that you get in touch with the one that is closest, and ask them for a contact in your area. Go here:

http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp

You'll see a Country list (you have to click on the arrow). Select India. There will be details, and if you click on the button "details", it will give you phone numbers and other contact information.

But please don't try an abortion. Not only is it unlikely to work most of the time, but it can cause you to bleed to death, and given where you live, you may not have access to medical care to save your life. You might think seriously about getting married, though. I know it is a huge celebration for you, and costs a lot of money. But if you two want to get married, see what you can work out. Obviously, you have only a few weeks to prepare. But it doesn't make sense for you to risk your life if you want to get married anyway.

Don't feel guilty. Do the right thing, and then think of your courage. It takes a lot of courage to face a situation like the one you are in and do the right thing. Courage isn't about not being afraid. It's about doing the right thing even though you are afraid.

Please take care of yourself. Let me know how you do.