Expert: Pat G - 9/29/2009

Question
I believe i am pregnant i took an at home test and one line was dark and one was faint. I did go for blood work to make sure but here's my problem. I am 27 and my boyfriend about 4years younger. I have a good paying job but come home miserable every day. I hate it and it is a stress full job.I have looked for a new one nothing out there. my boyfriends job doesn't pay well and it is landscaping so it dies in the winter then he does snow. Financially i don't feel like we can do this. We both live at home however I tell my family I am pregnant out of wed lock and they will kick me out. My moms family will never speak to me again. His family would be ok but his mom over reacts at times so I have no adult at this time to talk to. I don't know what the right thing is but No one will help support us and I can do it alone and My boyfriend barely makes enough to support himself living at home now.PLEASE help what do I do?

Answer
Hi, Kelly,

When your doctor tested, did he determine how viable the pregnancy might be? If the pregnancy isn't viable, you won't have to do anything; it will resolve itself. When did you test? What I mean by that is, when did you test compared to when you should have had your period? Some tests won't show for about a week after your period is supposed to start. But I'm assuming that the blood test confirmed you are pregnant.

First of all, if you don't want an abortion, don't have one! Even though things look dark, you will be better off in the long run. If you can't raise your child, you can choose adoption. It's a tough choice, but a good one. It's easier than abortion. You can keep in touch if you want. And abortion is dangerous and could kill you or cause serious harm.

Things are fairly bad economically at the moment, and we don't know what the future will bring. Take one day at a time and hang in there. You might give some serious thought to finding another place to live, since you are already 27. And you might be surprised. Your family might NOT kick you out. A lot of times women are afraid of this, and most of the time, in my experience, at least, the woman's parents come to be very accepting and supportive. But it takes time. Hey, I've been there, done that! I have two grandchildren out of wedlock. They are treasures. The first time our son told us about the older, I was like, "Congratulations, I guess!!" LOL But when I met his mother, I thanked her for having him and letting us be part of his life. Expect your parents or mother (as the case may be) to be upset at first. I'm sure you were as well. Give them time.

There are resources available. There are organizations all over the United States that help women in your position. They can even help you with telling your mother. They provide help with finances, counseling, medical care, and clothing and supplies for the baby. They may be able to help you find a place to live, either during your pregnancy, or more long term. They may be able to help you find a better job; they will know what the resources are that can help. To find one near you, go here: http://www.pregnancycenters.org/ . Good luck, and please let me know how things go! Take care and stay safe!