Expert: Dr. Harriet Johnson - 9/17/2009

Question
Dr. Johnson,

First, I'd like to thank you for your time spent answering my question. It's wonderful to have access to you, such a valuable resource.

My situation, ma'am, is this. I am 17. I'm turning 18 in December. My wonderful lady, Shelby, is 16. She turns 17 in November. We go to school together. I know her best friend through another friend, and her best friend decided Shelby and I needed to meet, so she set us up to start talking, and we started texting back and forth. I was out of town for my grandpa's 75th birthday over the holiday weekend, so we didn't get to see each other.

I got back on Sunday, September 6th (, 2009), around 6 PM. I drove over to her house because we were going to hang out. I showed up, and we started playing Guitar Hero, and then we started kissing, and one thing led to another, and lo and behold: penis inside vagina. (I'd like to note that this was her virginity, as well as mine.) I emit a large amount of pre-ejaculate fluid, which I understand, can contain the overly-excitable sperm cell or two that has jumped the metaphorical gate.

Continuing, I was only inside her for probably a total of 40 seconds to a minute, after sustaining an erection, with stimulation, for a couple of hours.

Of course, with the spontaneity of the event, I lacked protection. We noticed that, and almost immediately stopped, it being very hypocritical of the both of us to be without it.

Anyway, we finished each other and went on with our evening. Since then, we've become quite attached to one another and are now dating exclusively. We brought up the 6th just a couple of hours ago, and are in the middle of our first obligatory pregnancy scare. Her period is due this weekend (18th - 21st Sept.). That means that on the 6th, she was likely ovulating.

We discussed the possibility, and have decided that carrying the possible child to term is NOT an option. As neither of us are legal or emancipated adults, I'm not sure it's possible to get an abortion WITHOUT telling someone's parents.

Secrecy is our highest priority here. She has a family friend that may be able to help, but without parent/guardian status, she can only do so much.

To recap: Unprotected penis in vagina for ~50 seconds, total. No ejaculation within. Likely ovulation on or near the 6th. Period due this coming weekend. Cannot carry child to term. Neither of us are opposed to abortion. We, being fully functioning adults at heart and in mind, would simply love to avoid telling our legal guardians.

Any assistance you can render would be GREATLY appreciated, and, again, I'd like to thank you, Doctor, for the time you've spent reading this, the time I hope you'll spend answering, and all the time you've volunteered at this site.

Yours sincerely,

Zachary Jones

P.S: I hope that after reading this, you have gathered that I'm not some stereotypical, lovestruck teenager that is going to marry every ditzy blonde girl he dates. On the contrary, Shelby is a brunette, and (as cliche as it sounds), I do not find myself stereotypical (I suppose that's a stereotype though, right?), and would like to think myself intelligent.

P.P.S: I have a subtle and perpetuating sense of humor, and I believe it's manifested itself in my letter. I do ask you to trust that I'm taking the situation with all due seriousness.

Answer
Hi Zak,

The laws on abortions differ from state to state. In some states, parental permission is required before a girl under age 18 can have an abortion however sometimes a judge can excuse you from this law in a process called Judicial Bypass." Since you didn't say which state you live in I will give you every state law.

Alabama, Delaware, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, North & South Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Wisconsin requires that one of your parents give permission for your abortion.

Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Nebraska, North Dakota, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, Wyoming requires that one of your parents be told (not give permission, just told)

Alaska, Arizona, California, Washington DC, Hawaii, Illinois, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oklahoma, Oregon, Vermont, Washington. Do not need parent permission to have an abortion

South Dakota have a ban on abortions.

If she does turn out to be pregnant try for judicial bypass, if not then you will need to tell your parents. Good luck with what ever happens. And if you need more advise don't hesitate to contact me.