Expert: Pat G - 3/3/2010

Question
Hello Pat G,

Greetings

I am writing you in very critical condition, i am a guy and i am engaged with a 23 year old girl and we are going to marry in this november, we had unprotected and she should have her last period on feb 28, 2010 which she missed, she did not tell me thinking that she would get it after a week or so, when she told me about it, i am very very scared and i do not want to put her and my family reputation on stake.

I gave her on MT Pill (200mg) on Feb28, 2010 at morning 9, and the medical store person also gave me 2 Mesoprost (200mg) and asked me to give mesoprost after 48 hours of MT Pill, but my to be wife did not take that mesoprost though she took MT pill.

Now my problem is that i can not go to any doctor as the place where i live in most of people know my and her family. Second thing is she is very scared of doctors and she refused completely to see a doc.

I understand that you can not prescribe medicine in such open forum and i also understand the side effect of pills and the possible risk, however i request you to kindly suggest me a way so that i can get both of us free with this problem unless we get marry and can save ourselves with a shame.

Please suggest some pills and the prescription so that i can give it to her on my email (), i can not tell you in words how stuck i am and its like i am deep shit, its been 5 days i cant sleep at all. I am begging you please help me to get out of this situation.

I am waiting for your mail.

Regards,
Chhupa

Answer
Hello, Chhupa,

What you seem to be doing is balancing your fiancee's life against her reputation. What kind of trade is that?

There are several reasons why I would not be able to make a recommendation to do what you want. The fact I am not a doctor is only one of them. Misoprostol is dangerous and could take her life. She is right not to take it. They shouldn't even be marketing it in India, but they are. The manufacturer says it should never be given to a pregnant woman. If I were a doctor, it would be unethical for me to prescribe it for her.

Why not get married? I know that you like to plan elaborate weddings, and they tend to be expensive. And this kind of ceremony is very important. But please give it some thought. You may be able to do something memorable, even though time would be short.

At this point, she will either be all right, and so will the baby, or she will miscarry or have a missed abortion. In the case of missed abortion, she may need medical attention. A missed abortion is when the baby dies but the woman doesn't have a miscarriage. Sometimes, a woman's body will simply re-absorb the baby's body. I had that happen to me. In your fiancee's case, there is a good chance she and the baby will simply be all right, because of the timing.

Please don't threaten her life by giving her any more pills. Reputation problems can be dealt with. Death is permanent and cannot be fixed. There are women in India dying from taking these pills. She deserves better.

Try to relax a little if you can. This is a serious problem, but there are solutions. Take one day at a time.

What part of India do you live in? Close to what city? I may be able to find you some help locally, although it isn't available everywhere.

Your fiancee deserves your protection. You owe it to her to cherish her. Please take care of her and don't let her take any more chances. Let me know what happens; I will be here for you.