Expert: Pat G - 4/19/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hello. I recently took the pills like I was told and I just came back from my 2 week checkup and it did not work. I looked at the ultrasound and the fetus is bigger like double the size it was when i took the pill in the clinic and now that I think about it I want to keep the baby. I'm just really scared that he or she will have a deformality. I wouldnt be able to live with my self knowing i caused his or her suffering. Inside me I hope and pray my baby is healthy and normal. Do you know of anyone or statistics on babies being born after the medical abortion fails where the babies are healthy. Please let me know asap I am really dieing to have some hope. Thank you

ANSWER: Hello, consuelo,

How far along were you when you took these pills? This is important.

I don't have any statistics on how often there is a disability after an attempted pill abortion, but from what I have read, it would probably be around a couple percent, depending on when you took the pills. If you tell me, I can probably give you a little more specific information.

Don't think in terms of causing your baby suffering. Your baby is very unlikely to look at things that way. Most disabled people appreciate and enjoy life. The grief is on the part of parents. That's because they fail to understand what a blessing a disabled child can be. Obviously, you would have to deal with guilt from having caused the problem, IF you are the one who caused it. You might not be. These things happen anyway. I am not trying to minimize the risks, or what you are going through. But don't be too quick to assume that having a child with a disability is the kind of situation you may think it is.

Disabled children usually love unconditionally. They teach us how to love, how to be compassionate, how to be resourceful, how to reach out to others, especially parents who are hurting because their child is disabled, and how to fight for our children and family members. They bring us far more than most people realize. Be open to the blessings if this is what you have been given. God won't give you more than you can bear. He loves you and your child. He knew what you would do, and He has a plan for your life and your child's life. He always gives us far more than we expect. I can speak from personal experience because we have disabled children in our family. Perhaps the most "serious" disability is Down Syndrome, but the child who has it is precious beyond belief. It is common for parents to assume a disability is their fault, by the way, but it is much better if you simply vow to help your child to be the best he or she can be, no matter what the problems, or lack of them, are.

If you are unable to care for your child, there are people who are seeking to adopt disabled children.

There are organizations in the United States that help women who are experiencing this problem. They offer counseling, and healing after an attempt at abortion, and resources of all sorts. There are many, many resources also for disabled people. To find an organization near you, please go to this web site:

http://www.pregnancycenters.org/

I will be here for you; come and talk to me any time, and feel free to vent, and express your feelings. Take care of yourself and your baby. Please let me know what happens.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I was 7 weeks 4 days pregnant when I took the abortion pill Ru486. I sure would appreciate it if you can tell me if it had affected the fetus. Thank you for your help I thank you a bunches

Answer
Hello, consuelo,

You're welcome!

It is unlikely that RU486 had any effect on your baby. By that time, the baby was producing his or her own progesterone, so causing the mother's supply to decrease wouldn't have any effect.

Try to relax and just take care of both of you, and the chances are, your baby will be fine. Pregnant mothers worry that their babies are all right, so it comes with the territory. From the sound of things, your baby is OK. Please let me know how things go. I look forward to seeing a picture of your baby!