Expert: Pat G - 4/14/2010

Question
QUESTION: So i had an abortion on March 3,2010 i was a month and 7 days i had unprotected sex on March 24,2010. i did not go to the follow up because i was so anxious to do it with my boyfriend that i forgot. i took a pregnancy test April 2,2010 and it showed positive.But 1 1/2 week after i started spotting and it kinda got heavy and i was a little crampy. i took another test that and it showed negative.What should i do? because i am ready to start a family asap help please

ANSWER: Hello, Ciara,

I'm not quite clear on your story. You said you want to start a family as soon as possible, but you had an abortion about a month and a half ago.

Be very careful about this. You may be trying to have a replacement baby. Some women do this. Unfortunately, they're still in the same situation they were the first time when they got an abortion, and if they become pregnant again, they may feel the same pressures, and they may have another abortion.

A baby deserves two parents who are totally committed to each other. You two aren't committed. He's just your boyfriend. You should have some serious talks with him. If you are ready to make a commitment to each other (marriage), you should do that first, and then try for a baby. Seriously.

Your test seems to reflect the common situation that a woman's pregnancy hormones last awhile after abortion, but eventually they decline. So at this point, you need to leave things alone and let your body return to some kind of cycle. At that point, you would be able to learn how to tell when you are fertile.

I hope things go well with you. Abortion is dangerous, so please don't do that again. I hope that you will have a baby when you are ready, but please prepare a loving home for your baby first. Take care.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: The reason why I had an abortion the first time is  because it wasn't for my 4 yr boyfriend that I am with now we just took a break and I so happen got pregnant and now that we have moved in together we are ready to start a family now so what should I do now?

Answer
Hi, Ciara,

OK, that explains it. Thank you.

I recommend that if you want to have children, you should get married. Your children deserve to have two parents who are truly committed to each other. Moving in together isn't that kind of commitment.

You didn't tell me what kind of abortion you had. Unfortunately, abortion damages a woman's body, and can cause damage to her future children. This is especially true if you had a surgical abortion. Surgical abortion causes damage to the cervix, and this can lead to miscarriage and very early birth. Very early birth causes serious birth defects. Surgical abortion can also cause tubal pregnancy. This is a life-threatening condition that requires emergency surgery. The baby cannot live. Surgical abortion can also cause complications at birth, and may mean that a Caesarian section will be required. Caesarian section is not good for the baby (although it's certainly better than the alternative in that case), and is dangerous for the mother. But you make the best of a bad situation in that case. You will need to tell your doctor when you become pregnant, that you have had an abortion. If it was a surgical abortion, he may need to fasten your cervix shut so that you can carry a baby to term. Also, be vigilant for unexpected pain during early pregnancy, and especially if it is on one side, seek medical help; determine whether or not you have a tubal pregnancy. If the pain suddenly stops, you may need IMMEDIATE surgery. Surgical abortion can also make a woman unable to conceive in the future.

Nobody knows what consequences a pill abortion has for future children or a woman's fertility.

Best wishes for your attempt to start a family. Feel free to ask questions, and please take care of yourself and don't take such a chance again. You deserve better.