Expert: Pat G - 6/16/2010

Question
Hi,

My GF and I had an intercourse and it was not planned, and hence i was not prepared. but i insisted that she took an Pill within 72 hours however, she ignored it and she is pregnant, i think 6- 8 weeks pregnant, we do not want to approch any doctor to undergo any medical surgery as we stay in two different cities and she cannot go on her own,

Is there a pill you could suggest or what would be the best way to avoid this pregnancy.

Please help us as soon as possible as the time has already passed and we cannot afford to delay any further.

Thank You

Answer
Hello, Zee,

It doesn't sound like your girlfriend wants to harm her own body. She didn't take the pill. No matter how an abortion is done, it can kill the woman. Your girlfriend deserves better.

You cannot avoid this pregnancy. She is already pregnant. Perhaps "avoid" isn't the word you meant to use. But there are no pills at this point that will produce the results you seek.

You are asking me to help you hurt your girlfriend. I won't do that. I also cannot give you the advice you seek, because then I would be practicing medicine without a license, and I could get into a lot of trouble.

You need to know how harmful these pills are, even though it is too late to use them. One of them is made by a company that says a pregnant woman should NEVER take it. It can cause women to bleed to death. And women in India ARE bleeding to death from taking these pills. It is my understanding that about 20,000 women die each year from abortion in India, and it's a safe bet that most of them took these pills. The company that sells them doesn't care. They just want your money. These pills can also cause a woman's uterus to rupture, and they can cause an infection that will kill a woman within hours. Don't even be tempted to try them in the future.

Surgical abortion can also kill her, or cause her to become seriously disabled. It can also cause harm to her future children, including killing them (causing a miscarriage), or causing serious birth defects such as cerebral palsy, autism, mental retardation, epilepsy, blindness, or deafness. In addition, there are a lot of other kinds of damage surgical abortion can cause. This includes making a woman unable to have children at all.

Any kind of abortion can cause her to become much more likely to get a particularly deadly form of breast cancer. It kills 1/4 of its victims. Women get this while they are still young, such as in their 30's, and if a woman has a close relative who has had breast cancer, she is almost certain to get it. So in that case, if your girlfriend has an abortion of any kind, she has a 1 in 4 chance of being killed by breast cancer.

If that weren't bad enough, abortion takes a terrible emotional toll on a woman. A woman who has had an abortion is 7 times more likely to commit suicide than she would be if she carried to term. Other causes of death during the first year after an abortion are accident and homicide. A woman can also abuse drugs or alcohol, or develop eating and sleep disorders. One thing abortion can do is cause horrible nightmares. I have experienced this, and I wouldn't wish this off on my worst enemy.

It's not worth it, and it's not right for you to expect her to submit to this kind of risk. You really have the responsibility to protect her from this kind of harm.

Give yourself and your girlfriend time to adjust to the situation. You are both in a panic now, and people don't make good decisions when they are in a panic. It is actually fairly common for both the man and the woman not to want a pregnancy when it first happens, but after awhile, they feel very differently. But abortion is forever. You can't take it back.

I am sure you are facing problems that make abortion seem desirable. However, of several possible solutions, it is by far the worst. Let me know what kinds of problems you are facing, and let me know what part of India you each live in, and I will see what kind of resources I can find for you. Please take care of her and let me know how things go.