Expert: Diane Cheryl - 1/11/2011

Question
QUESTION: I had an abortion Dec. 27,2005. Since then I have married and had 2 boys- my bf at the time is now my husband. I resent him for forcing me into having an abortion. It has been 5 years and I still cannot forgive him or forget the situation. I am 24 and this is really dragging me down. I want to come to terms with the decision that was made so long ago but I just can't and he doesn't seem to want to help me through it... I'm very lost. We have also talked about divorce, but again, this is the reason why.

ANSWER: Dear Stevie,

Sorry I have not been able to answer sooner but I was very sick. I'm sorry to hear of your story and other women have had this same problem. It won't be easy but you need to deal with forgiveness and deal with the other emotions that are going through you. If he won't go for counseling or ask for help, you must do it alone, for your own sake. I offer free post abortion counseling and I also send out information in the mail about abortion healing. If you have an address you can receive mail at that would not cause a problem with your husband, please let me know and I will send you free info. Also, another thing you might not have noticed or have a problem with, sometimes an abortion will affect how you interact with your other children. Do you have any problems with this? Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
Diane Cheryl

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I asked for help and he says if it'll help me then go get it... I'm not saying he's a bad person, he just lacks compassion for this issue. I have a 2 and 1 yr old. My husband says that I take out my anger and frustrations out on them when whatever the issue was really didn't warrant the reaction. After my first I was diagnosed with post- partum depression and eventually had to be hospitalized for post partum psychosis. I have recently started working out and noticed a slight difference in my behavior towards them although I still take my medication and have times I overreact. I found a place for help and he was against it because it was church affiliated; it honestly sounds very helpful but he doesn't want me to stay there because he would have to be the sole caregiver for 2 1/2 days and can't handle it. Again, it really doesn't help me or give me a way to help myself. My in-laws live close and don't know about the abortion and my mom lives 3 hours away and knows about the abortion- she had one herself years ago...

Answer
Dear Stevie, Thanks for the additional information about your situation. I just thought of another option for you. Most pregnancy resource centers have free post abortion counseling groups. You can see if there is a location in your area. http://www.optionline.org and click on pregnancy center locations. Call the one near you and see if they offer this. I think you can also reach them through email. And my offer to send you free info is still on. Let me know.
Also, you can get info at http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/resources/
Please keep in touch with me. My private email address is abortionhealing@aol.com

Sincerely,
Diane Cheryl