Expert: Pat G - 3/21/2011

Question
hi
I am 37 years old and 12 weeks pregnant and found out yesterday that the child had downs syndrome with a faulty heart.
My world collapsed.
My husband and I tried for a long time to have a child and found out I had hormonal disorder. It took time to "fix" it but I got pregnant straight away.

I was looking forward to have a child and had big hopes. Now, I am so upset.
I had long discussions with my husband and we decided to terminate as I had a cousin with 15 yo boy with down syndrome, a child that despite all early intervention, still can't speak properly, can't think, spend half of life in hospitals, is confused as he does not understand the world around him.He is also bullied by other kids, and totally unaware of danger and can't even cross the road.
My cousin told me many times, she wishes other him or her is dead so they don't suffer. she told me many women don't approve termination but she found out that 95% of women do it once they find it is downs.
We decided to terminate the pregnancy to a life that now I believe will not have a life at all as my cousins' son.

I also lost all feelings for my baby now, I really don;t want it, not really because it will be handicapped but to stop our life becoming miserable including the child.

I am catholic and go to the church and always believed that abortion is a sin but I see it from different perspective now.

I also suffer from bi polar mental disorder and my phycatrist told me not to go ahead as I will not be able to mentally handle it and will not be able to care for the child. She knows me well as I visit her every month fro 15 years.
Also, my doctor who has done the tests, asked me what I will do. When I told her I wanted to terminate, she also told me it is the best decision for me and she will do it asap.

I am so upset that I worry it will trigger another mental outburst.

I would like some advise ho to deal with this unexpected situation.
I know that is it my husband's and my decision only but I would like to know if you beleive it is ethical to abort downs syndrome babies

also, I believe if I try to move on with my life and try to get pregnant again very soon I will be better
How long I have to wait after the abortion to start again?

thanks a lot
Val

Answer
Oh, one other thing. There is one woman who has gotten into politics in the United States. She is probably the one person I admire more than anyone else I have ever known or known about. She is awesome! Her name is Sarah Palin. You should read about her. She has a son who has Down Syndrome. She shares my view about what a blessing these children are, and sure, she was also shocked when she learned, and after getting past the initial temptation to do away with him, she welcomed him with her whole heart.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Palin

You may or may not agree with her politically, but she has done MORE with her life than you can possibly imagine. This article doesn't really talk about her son Trig, but he's a couple of years old now. "Trig" means "true" in a couple of Scandinavian languages. I think it also doesn't tell much about her other accomplishments, but this is a woman who can kill, skin, butcher, and cook her own moose. She is a fisherman and a sportswoman. She has so many survival skills it's not funny! She is the quintessential pro-life feminist, and I am VERY proud of her. She is considering running for President in 2012, and she would be my FIRST choice.

Here are some more articles and stuff:

http://celebritybabies.people.com/2008/04/22/alaskan-governo/
http://barbaricthoughts.blogspot.com/2010/05/frontier-feminism.html
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Palin/sarah-palin-trig-raising-syndrome-son-exclusive...

Please keep in touch.