Expert: Pat G - 5/10/2011

Question
QUESTION: i ia 29 yrs old and my before 9 yrs i had a normal delivery delivering a still baby boy(b coz i had jaundice in my last month). after that i had consequently 3 c sec with a gap of 2 yrs each with 3 baby girls. i heard that 4th cesarian is possible. i got conceived before 3 months and my gyanec suggested me to abort the baby bcoz of a small incisional hernia seen in my abdomen.i was not willing hoping that this was a baby boy but even my family members were afraid of my pregnancy and requested me to abort the baby. i had an abortion before one month and still now i am feeling very much sad.can i have an another baby after some time.and can i use copper t(loop) for not getting pregnant now.pls reply

ANSWER: Hello, nisha,

My heart goes out to you. A small incisional hernia is not a reason for abortion. A woman should never be forced to have an abortion she doesn't want. I am so sorry.

Yes, a fourth Caesarian is a possibility. I had an aunt who had five. Furthermore, it sounds like you should never have been given an abortion because of your hernia, because abortions are a vicious attack on a woman's body, and could actually cause more damage!

I do not recommend you use a Copper T. It is too dangerous; it could perforate your uterus. It's also not that reliable. If you are married, I recommend you learn how to tell when you are fertile. You have to chart faithfully, and you cannot be taking any hormones, nor can you have a Copper T or any other such device. For more information please go to this web site:

http://www.fertilityuk.org/

If you are not married, it is best not to have sex at all.

Here is an organization that offers online counseling, which you would probably appreciate since your abortion was forced.

http://www.optionline.org/

I used to have information on an organization in Tamil Nadu that could help you with what you are facing. I no longer have access to that information, but if you ask around, you may be able to find it. Ask in various churches. Ask them if they know of an organization that offers alternatives to abortion.

In the meantime, you should get the hernia repaired. When you do become pregnant again, here is a technique that can help prevent a rupture. Using your fingertips, push gently into your skin within a circle formed when you observe the diameter of the scar. Do this for about five minutes a couple of times a day. The goal is to soften the scars. This technique helps form new blood vessels in the scar tissue. If this explanation is not clear, please let me know.

I will be here for you any time you need to talk. Because of personal family problems, I may be a little slow to respond, but I will get back to you. Please take care.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thank u for ur reply.i am a married woman for last 10 yrs.i was practising the natural method for avoiding pregnancy.but some how i got confused with the dates and i got conceived this time..now i am afraid if i cannot use copperT nor the pills that prevent pregnancy then what shall i do?at present i want to get the hernia repaired and a gap of 2yrs for my next  pregncy.should i have to undergo a abdomen surgery or a laproscopic surgery is enough?pls help me  b'coz i am really confused . my gync suggested me also to do the family plng with this surgery.last question but not the least is there any treatment for having a baby boy?i am really longing for ..n pls explain to me that technique for prevention of hernia.i didnt get u.ok bye

Answer
Hello, nisha,

You should be able to get the hernia repaired. I would guess that it wouldn't require major surgery, depending on how large it is. But you will need to have a doctor take a look at it and let you know what needs to be done.

As for the gap, it didn't happen. You have no need to do any family planning as long as you are pregnant. It is very rare for a woman to become pregnant with a second child while she is pregnant with another, although it happened to me, and it happened to the mother of a friend of mine. Still, you just don't hear about it. I think most of the time when it does happen, a doctor intervenes, and the two babies are not born, one way or the other, because doctors misdiagnose the condition. Right now, you are considering an abortion, which is far, far more dangerous than having the baby and getting good medical care. Not only can an abortion cause serious harm, it can even kill you. And it can cause conditions that would make a future pregnancy much more dangerous for both you and the baby. And obviously, if an abortion kills you, your other children will also lose their mother.

As for a treatment for having a baby boy, your child's gender was decided when you conceived. You can favor the odds for a girl at the time you have sex, but all that does is increase the chance you will get the gender you want. If you still get another girl, you might consider adopting. That way, you could specify a boy. But it's pretty much up to God what children He gives us. I wanted lots of girls and only got two, and I got five boys. But the children we have are perfect for our family. And it turns out I'm probably a better mother to boys anyway.

The treatment I explained is to prevent a rupture of the uterus during birth if you have a normal birth rather than a Caesarian. It doesn't directly have anything to do with a hernia. Do you ever make bread? And when you do, do you knead the dough? It's a similar technique. You use your fingertips to push gently into your skin within a circle that includes the full length of your incision. If this doesn't explain it, I will try wording it a different way. You do this for a few minutes a couple of times a day throughout the second half of your pregnancy. This softens the scars and causes blood vessels to form in them (capillaries). This helps prevent your uterus from tearing during labor.

I hope this helps. Take care.