Expert: Pat G - 1/14/2012

Question
I had a Surgical Abortion done a week go today but I also had to have a D&C Performed two days ago because they missed some tissues. I know I can't have sex and normally i'm not one for sex, but I have been very frustrated since it has been almost two months since I have last had sex. Now I know I can't insert anything in to my Vagina for about two weeks and I get the ok from the doctor but can I stimulate myself by non penetrating methods like playing with the Clitoral?

Answer
Hello, Sarah,

I can only look at your situation and think that there are some issues that I would address. I will mention these, and what you do about them is up to you, but perhaps another viewpoint will prove helpful.

I think that stimulating your clitoris is only avoiding dealing with the real problem. The real problem is your frustration with not being able to have sex. If you then masturbate, it probably won't harm you medically, but it could aggravate your frame of mind. It may also be the case that you are reacting emotionally to having had an abortion. These issues really do need to be addressed. If you are not married, it is inappropriate and harmful for you to have sex anyway. Sex has deeper meaning, and unless you know the man is committed to you, you will never experience this. Marriage is the only commitment that has real meaning. Sex can be used as a substitute for real love. This isn't helpful, either. Also keep in mind that if you are not married, this could be a prelude to going back to the behavior that led to your pregnancy in the first place. You deserve to be free of the fear of pregnancy. You deserve your partner's respect. Obviously, if you are married, going back to sexual activity is perfectly OK, but you should seriously consider the fact that sex leads to pregnancy, and be willing to welcome a child.

I would recommend that you at least talk to a counselor who is experienced with abortion-experienced women, to see if you can get to the bottom of your frustration. Your local organization that helps pregnant women has such counselors, usually women who have experienced abortion themselves. They can be very helpful. You can find an organization near you by going to this web site:

http://www.optionline.org/

Otherwise, give this some serious thought. If you still have concerns, ask your doctor (not the one who did the abortion, but someone you can trust; abortion is bad medicine). There is a slight possibility that if you have fertile mucus, it could carry an infection from your fingers into your vagina. It may not be a problem, because sperm swim, so they can get into the vagina through fertile mucus while something else might not. But it would be better for you to discuss your concerns with a doctor.

Take care.