Abortion/Please help

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QUESTION: Hi

I had the medical pill abortion. I took the first pill on monday and I was told it is to loosen the pregnancy but after taking that pill I had severe pains and heavy bleeding, clots and something weird came down. (I'm guessing that was the fetus?) I was not sure if I was suppose to take the rest of the pills but I did just incase? After taking this pills there were no clots or anything just severe cramps and heavy bleeding basically dripping down my legs. I am very scared and not sure if I should go in to hospital or what? Please help me urgently...I feel weak! Should go to hospital now or not?

Thanks in advance

ANSWER: Hello, anon,

You should go to the hospital because you feel weak, and because you are bleeding so much! Then when you come back, we can talk about the rest of what you are experiencing. So please go now. If you are bleeding that heavily, your life is in danger. Please take care, and get back to me.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Pat G

Sorry for only getting back to you now.
I went to the hospital like you said I had to and when I came their and after assessing me, they admitted me immediately and put me on a drip. I don't know what drip that was. They kept me overnight and did a scrape as well. I must say I got very scared and I never want to go through that again! I have a check up next week at the hospital. I am thinking of inserting the Loop as a form of contraception but I would like to know how safe it is and if there are any complications with it or not? I asked my husband if I can have myself sterilized if the hospital agrees but he is not happy about that because he says he might want another child and then what... So that is why decided to try the Loop maybe - what is your thought on this?

ANSWER: Hi, anon,

I'm really sorry they treated you that way! It may or may not have been the best medical answer, but when you go to anyone at all, unless you know a doctor's perspective on abortion and abortion complications, no telling what medical decisions they will make. I hope you never find yourself in a position where it is tempting to have an abortion, ever again.

There are many things you haven't told me, that make it a little hard for me to try to guide you. How many children do you have? Are they your biological children, or your step children? How old are you? Why do you not want to have any children, especially since you are married? So much depends on your outlook, really.

I am not a fan of the Loop and other such means for a number of reasons. They are really not safe for the woman. They can perforate the uterus, cause infection, and the hormones in many of them are simply not good for a woman's body. "Loop" can refer to any intrauterine device; there are a number of them that are called "loop". They are also not reliable; there is a failure rate. I have heard of cases where a baby was born, holding an IUD in his hand! Their action is really abortifacient, not contraceptive. They prevent a baby from implanting in the wall of the uterus.

You might want to investigate natural family planning. It is by far the most reliable, and it is totally safe. It is also completely under your control. You don't have to depend on any company that sells drugs or devices. It involves detecting when you are fertile. You can then avoid sex on those days. There are several different methods. One looks only at cervical mucus. Another looks at cervical mucus plus basal body temperature, and examination of the cervix (to see if it is open or closed). And I understand there is some kind of test a woman can use that will tell her if she is fertile on a given day. In order to use this method, you have to chart faithfully, and you cannot be using hormones of any kind (which means no Loop, either). There are classes in natural family planning in UK, and I recommend you both attend a class. For more information about this method, please see this web site:

http://www.fertilityuk.org/

I hope this helps, and that you are fully recovered from your hospital stay. Take care.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Pat

Thanks for that.:-) you do not have to apologize for advising me to go to hospital! I should say its thanks to you that I actually decided to go in because I was scared as hell!

I am 24 years old. I have two kids - biological. I don't at this point in time see myself having more kids but I do not think my husband feels the same. I also don't want to just go and do something that is going to cost me my marriage like having myself sterilized now that I know he wants more kids. That is why I was thinking about puting in the 'Loop'.

Just the thought of being pregnant again makes me scared...why that is, I wouldn't know because I have two beautiful sons and even they are asking me why can't they have a sister.

I really appreciate your advice and have to say thank you again for telling me to go to hospital. :-)

Answer
Hi, anon,

Thank you! I still don't feel good about what they did to you, but I am very happy that you were able to deal with your fear successfully.

Perhaps we should talk about why you are afraid of being pregnant. Did something happen that caused you to develop this fear? Are you suffering from a nutritional deficiency that might be causing fear in general? Do you eat foods with monosodium glutamate in them? How about artificial sweeteners? Do you take any drugs to control the fear or other emotional issues? I know that fears can develop as a result of an experience, having gone through this myself.

I tend to analyze things a lot, and from where I sit, the Loop is more dangerous for you than the possibility of becoming pregnant, unless you have some kind of serious health problem. But please be aware that there are very few health problems that would be significantly aggravated by pregnancy to the point where there would have to be medical action taken. Nearly every condition can be managed.

Let's keep talking. I would like to help you overcome your fear, for the sake of your marriage. Take care.

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Pat G

Expertise

I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.

Experience

I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

Education/Credentials
I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

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