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Abortion/abortion survival

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QUESTION: I recently read a response you gave to another woman on her friend's baby's chances of surviving the abortion pill. You said in your response that by week 8 the baby should be producing it's own progesterone. I was wondering if you meant 8 weeks gestationally or if you meant 8 weeks counting the way the doctors count? According to the doctors my 9th full week would have ended yesterday, 12/5/12, but that would put me at 7 weeks gestationally. I'm entering my 10th week (8th week gestationally) and I took the first abortion pill yesterday after being threatened and pressured for about a month by the father to abort it or else and I wish I hadn't. Is it possible that my baby will be okay? Would the baby stand a better chance if I were to get progesterone supplements from my doctor just in case?  I already lost my surrogate daughter 6 years ago next month and I want to be a mommy again. I feel so stupid for doing what I did and if I can save the baby I want to.

ANSWER: Hello, Dawn,

I mean to say that by week 8 from the last menstrual period, the baby will be producing his or her own progesterone. So that would make you 10 weeks, for the purpose of this discussion. You can go to the doctor and get progesterone supplements. I recommend you find an organization in your area that will have doctors affiliated with them who are familiar with these things. You can find your closest organization by going here:

http://www.optionline.org/

The chance is very good your baby is fine. One of the women who came to me at 8 weeks and had changed her mind, has had her baby, and he is fine. You are two weeks further along.

It makes me furious when men coerce women into abortion! I am really sorry when this happens, too. I just want to wring some pea-picken' necks! No man ever has that right, not even to abandon the mother. He won't bear any of the medical consequences, and even though many men experience emotional repercussions, they still don't have that right. Good for you to recognize so soon that you don't want an abortion, and to act on it!

Please keep in touch. Please go right away to the doctor. Let me know what happens. I'll be here any time you need or want to talk. I will pray for you both.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: As much as I hated it, I did use the other 4 pills last night. I just lost my job and I had to accept the fact that I wouldn't be able to do this on my own. Welfare would only help so much, and I don't want to be one of "those people" who rely on it. The father doesn't know I did it and in the past 48 hours he's gone from trying to "help" to threatening me again to trying to work it out to threatening again and I wouldn't want to bring a child into that situation. It would be unfair and unhealthy to the child to have to deal with being used as a pawn since conception. I want to have children, but a lot goes for having the baby under the right circumstances and sadly this was not good circumstances for the child.  Thank you for helping me. I wasn't going to take the pills that cause the shedding of the uterus, but I feel like I can't take the risk of putting my child through the hell the father was taking about doing and no child deserves that. My child is gone now but I have hope that I'll be pregnant again before too long to the right man who will cherish me and our baby. Thank you again for trying to help me keep my child.

Answer
Hello, Dawn,

What has happened since you used the rest of the pills? As I mentioned it, the pills might not even do anything in your case. You might even bleed, but remain pregnant.

If you hurt yourself and cause yourself to become disabled, you will be depending on the generosity of others to live, either from someone who loves you deeply, or from the government. On the other hand, if you did resort to welfare for awhile, it has been shown that the average person remains on welfare only about 27 months. Circumstances change. I don't blame you for not wanting to go on welfare. To tell the truth, the ONLY time I think it is legitimate to go on welfare is when you are pregnant with an unexpected and unplanned child you cannot care for, because your situation is not the child's fault, and if you do it to allow your child to live, I'm fine with that. And in general, I am not a fan of welfare at all. This is also a reason I gave you the link to find an organization near you, because often they can help a woman without her having to resort to welfare.

Truthfully, I hope you will fail. Not only because of where I stand, but for your own sake. You didn't really want to have an abortion, and it is nearly always devastating to a woman to have an abortion she doesn't want. Your situation is a temporary one. You can easily fix it by leaving the relationship. Children often grow up under adverse circumstances, but if you ask them if they would rather never have experienced life at all, I think you'd easily get a different answer from what you expect. If you had asked me to choose between the life I had growing up (which was full of trouble and turmoil for me) and not living at all, I would tell you I would choose life for myself, and as I have lived for many years, I know things can get better and sweeter, because I have lived it. Life is full of poor circumstances. I pity the child who grows up under perfect circumstances. That child will develop a nasty personality, and he will probably not like himself very much, either. Human beings are a perverse race, and we need a certain amount of adversity to thrive. All too often, we try to decide for the child what he or she would want, but what we are really doing is deciding what we want, because obviously, we cannot ask the child.

The job situation is really bad right now, and we will all have to endure for awhile. Even though jobs are hard to find, they're not impossible. I have seen in my own family how being without a job only lasted a couple of months.

Thank you for thanking me. I feel I failed you. Truly. But one way or another, your life will go on. This is why I think it is so VITALLY important that you get some good counseling, starting immediately! I gave you a link to find a local organization that will help you. They will also provide help if you succeeded in completing the abortion. This could be a life or death matter for you, so PLEASE GO! Here is the link again:

http://www.optionline.org/

You really should avail yourself of their help. It's what they are there for. Please do this, and let me know what happens. Please. I will continue to pray for you, and I will be here no matter what. Jesus loves you, and so do I. Please keep in touch.

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Pat G

Expertise

I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.

Experience

I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

Education/Credentials
I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

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