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Abortion/Your answers to questions


Diane Cheryl,
I just recently become and expert in the abortion catagory and am planning on joining the birth control category as well as I work in a family planning/abortion clinic. I was reading over your answers in the abortion category and every woman that comes to you for help, you refuse to help them stating you cannot help them as you do not support abortion. You tell them they will have physical and emotional problems from the abortion. Heres an idea, if you are not going to help these women drop yourself from this category and let women who are truly going to help these women help them. If women are sure of there decision before they have an abortion normally the only emotion they experience is relief. Also with the birth control section,every single birth control that women had referred to you said there was something wrong with it, that it caused problems and they should get off it immediately. You said that about every single kind! You told one woman to stop having sex, that is a very effective for of birth control to not have sex! While that is true,women are going to have sex and they need informed choices. Birth control is 100% safe and we need to avoid unwanted pregnancies, not by scaring women into not getting birth control, then there experiencing an unwanted pregnancy, then I'm seeing them in my clinic for an abortion. If your not going to help these women kindly drop yourself from these 2 categories and volunteer in a category you really want to help women in.It's wrong what your doing and I hope you are woman enough to realize that.
Have a nice day,

Hello, April,

Diane Cheryl sent this question to the question pool, and I choose to answer it. I consider your statement to be in the form of an attack on her. If you have correctly stated your position on abortion, and I assume you have, you also probably support the "right to choose". If you do, then you should favor a woman having all choices available to her, including NOT having an abortion. But for a woman to make a choice, she must have information. If she has an abortion, she has a right to informed consent. That means she needs to know what the possible consequences might be. It's one thing for Diane Cheryl to state that she cannot help them obtain an abortion (because she thinks the consequences are too severe if she does, or because of her conscience), that doesn't mean she cannot help them in any other way. If she tells them they will (or might) have physical and emotional consequences from abortion, then she is helping them give informed consent if they continue. If they don't know this, their consent is not informed. Many women are being coerced into abortion. The very fact they face difficulties because of their pregnancy means there is perceived coercion. A person who works in an abortion facility owes it to a woman to make sure she fully understands the possible consequences before she has one. It is not right to keep women ignorant. It violates medical ethics. Abortion is almost always done for non-medical reasons, so the consequences have nothing positive to outweigh them. Most medical procedures are done because there is some medical problem that, if not addressed, will cause medical suffering. Medicine should never be used as a tool to control a woman's social problems. These social problems are usually imposed from the outside, and she shouldn't have to bear the brunt. Those who impose those problems should deal with them.

Most women do feel relief initially after an abortion, but this usually doesn't last. Some women go into denial, and this can last for minutes or even years. During this phase of the aftermath, they are denying that they allowed someone to invade their bodies in a way which is much more brutal than rape. They turned on their own child. We were designed to protect our children, not harm them. We know instinctively that when we are pregnant, we're carrying a child, OUR child. We may not acknowledge it consciously, but unconsciously we know, because there is communication between mother and child from the earliest days. Hormonal messages are exchanged. The unborn sends stem cells into the mother's bloodstream, and these scatter throughout her body, including the brain. I always knew within a couple of days that I was pregnant. How did I know? Because of this communication. When you rip a baby out of a woman's body, you disrupt this in a violent way. On some level, she knows it. Obviously, when a woman seeks an abortion, she is looking for an immediate answer to her problems. Unfortunately, abortion rarely addresses the underlying problems. She is still in an exploitative relationship. If you are unaware that the relief a woman feels initially is not a permanent state of mind, and that she will have to deal with the consequences sooner or later, then you need to find out. You owe it to the women you talk to HERE, and at your workplace, to TELL them of the possible long-term consequences. If you insist on disputing this, please be aware I can give you citations to hundreds of medical papers which explain the possible consequences, and I have done that here in the past. I will do it again. YOU need this information. You cannot truly help women without it.

This site welcomes experts of different perspectives. She represents one perspective, and you represent another. This site doesn't try to dictate one answer to people. There are legal reasons why this is the wisest course. If Diane Cheryl takes herself out of these categories (and actually, she cannot just leave; the staff has to remove her), then this will undo some of the balance they try to achieve.

Most women who have sex outside of marriage, and many who have sex within marriage are being exploited for the personal pleasure of men. It is not usually in the best interests of a woman to have sex in abusive situations, or without a commitment to cherish her and help share in the consequences by supporting her if she becomes pregnant. Many men abandon a woman when she becomes pregnant, either emotionally or physically. They refuse to take an equal share of the consequences. If you believe in informed consent, you need to do your homework. Birth control is NOT 100% safe, nor is it 100% reliable. You owe it to women to TELL them so! If you are not familiar with the possible consequences, you need to inform yourself. If you think most women WILL have sex, you must think we are very weak and incapable of protecting ourselves from exploitative men. I consider that an insult. We are told to Just say NO to drugs. Why not to sex when it's exploitative?

Condoms have a high failure rate, and they do NOT protect a woman from STDs. This includes HIV, by the way. The virus that causes HIV is 1/50th of the diameter of naturally occurring holes in condoms, and there is pressure that will cause leakage. A woman who accepts condom use as "protection" will, sooner or later, be known by the term "mother". People don't use condoms just once. Repeated use guarantees that sooner or later there will be a failure. Birth control pills have some pretty horrendous long-term consequences. For some women, they are fatal sooner rather than later. For others, women will have problems for the rest of their lives. This applies even more so to injectable birth control. IUDs can cause uterine perforation and infection. Birth control pills have a failure rate. It isn't high, but it's very real. IUDs have a much higher failure rate. Even foam can cause an allergic reaction or other problems, and withdrawal doesn't work. The most reliable form of birth control, aside from abstinence, is fertility awareness and periodic abstinence. If done properly, the failure rate is only about 1%. Believe me, a few minutes of pleasure (or of being exploited) isn't worth the lifetime of regret if a woman develops a disease or has an abortion. You owe it to women to help them weigh the REAL consequences, and not MISREPRESENT the effectiveness and safety of birth control methods.

If you REALLY want to help women yourself, you will tell them the TRUTH, ALL of it, and you will try to help them find a better answer, an answer they can live with. Short-term relief simply doesn't balance out a lifetime of regret. And it sure doesn't balance suicide! And suicide is one of the many possible emotional consequences of abortion. The chance of committing suicide after abortion is eight TIMES what it would be if she carried to term, in spite of any problems she might face.

And there is always the possibility that the abortion itself will kill her. Abortion is NOT SAFE. It is not only inherently not safe, because our bodies were designed to protect our children, and you cannot do an abortion without damaging our bodies in some way, but it is also not safe because the people who do them are the dregs of the medical profession (the doctors know this), and they're careless. Most abortion facilities are filthy and won't pass basic health department inspections. Health departments are closing them all over the country for this reason. Years ago, I watched a film of an abortion being done. The film had been made by an abortionist who wanted to show how "wonderful" abortion is. I was sitting next to a nurse. Together, we found SIXTEEN violations of proper surgical procedure. And this was supposed to be a MODEL procedure for the persuasion of people to support or allow it. Look around you at the facility where you work. Does this meet your own personal standards for a decent medical facility? Is this REALLY what you want to be doing to help women, or do you secretly cringe at what you are doing, but feel trapped because you need to make a living? (There IS help available for abortion clinic workers who want to find a different job.) Be honest.

One more thing before I go: any type of abortion will increase a chance a woman will have a baby with a severe birth defect by 400%. If she has a wanted baby with a birth defect, she will be saddled with the responsibility of caring for that child for their entire childhood, if not for the rest of that child's life. This is huge burden. Some women have this happen anyway. But what if you know the REASON your child was hurt was because you chose to have an abortion in the past? What if you never have another child? What if you suffer repeat miscarriages? Any type of abortion will ALSO increase a woman's chance of having a miscarriage by 400%. If you're not telling your clients about this, you are concealing vital information, and she is not giving informed consent. You NEED to tell her this. And if you answer questions on abortion here, you need to tell the woman this here as well.

If you are not willing to tolerate different opinions from yours, you do not truly believe in a woman's right to freedom of choice. Think about it. Remember, when you point a finger at someone else, four of your fingers are pointing back at you.

Take care. Don't hurt any women. Please.


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Pat G


I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.


I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

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