Abortion/abortion

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Question
Dear sir,
I am 22 year old girl , unfortunately me and my boyfrend had sex on this feb-14th, which was 30th day of my manstual cycle, but i hav irregular cycle from last 2 months, and in january it was 40 days,

yet today i hav not got my periods , what is the possibality of myself being conceive?
if iam concive how can i terminate my pregnancy safely in home, because my family is orthodax, and dont forgive me, so kindly help me sir, plese...

Thank you

awiting for yor response

Answer
Hello, pallavi,

Please know that I am a woman. And since you are 22, you are also a woman, not just a girl.

If the facts are exactly as you have told me, even if your period is 40 days long, you probably weren't fertile when you had sex on the 14th. This means you wouldn't get pregnant. A woman ovulates 14 days before her period is due to start, so if you had sex on the day your period was due to start, you weren't fertile.

There is no such thing as a safe abortion. Abortion kills about 10,000 women each year, in India. Most of them bleed to death after taking pills they have been told are safe. Please don't try it. Not only could you bleed to death, but you could get a massive infection that would kill you within hours. Complications are common. If you have a complication, your family will find out. It is never wise to have an abortion to try to keep pregnancy a secret from your family. There is too much of a chance they'll find out anyway. And your parents deserve the right to accept their grandchild, and to tell you not to hurt yourself. If you are living with them and you do suffer a complication, they will have to take care of you. Even though they are orthodox, you might be surprised at how they react. In our experience, most parents will be upset at first, even as you are upset, but in the end, they become very supportive, even if they ARE orthodox. Give your parents a chance.

There can be other reasons why your period is so long, or you aren't having it at all. The main one, in India at least, is malnutrition. If you are a strict vegetarian, or a vegan, and don't eat any animal protein at all, you are suffering from malnutrition. Sooner or later, most women who eat this way stop having periods. Another thing that can cause a period to be delayed is stress. You are worried. That could be enough to stop your periods. Also, if you exercise excessively, that will stop your periods.

You deserve to live without fear of pregnancy, so you should not have sex with your boyfriend. If you have been having sex with him, have a talk with him. You deserve for him to respect your body and not put you at risk. If he won't stop expecting sex, you should try to find someone else.

I cannot advise you to take anything, because I don't go around helping women hurt themselves, and because I could get into a lot of trouble if I did this. What I recommend is that you wait and see if you really are pregnant. Don't take anything because you MIGHT be pregnant. That is also dangerous, and if you are not pregnant, you are hurting yourself for no reason. If you are pregnant, here is an organization that will help you. Please contact them.

Catholic HealthAssociation of Karnataka(CHAKA)
Door No. 27,4 th Cross,2 nd Main,Near Fatima School,
Madivala New Extn,
Bangalore, KARNATAKA- 560 068,
Phone: 080-5506779,
Email: chakacatholi@gmail.com

If your problem is malnutrition, it is important to get some animal protein into your diet. It can be eggs and cheese. And if you are suffering from malnutrition and you take pills because you are pregnant, you are much more likely to bleed heavily, which can either take away your health, or kill you. So please don't even consider taking any medicine. Please take care of yourself and keep yourself safe. Let me know how things go, and feel free to talk to me any time.

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Pat G

Expertise

I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.

Experience

I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

Education/Credentials
I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

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