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Abortion/Termination and pregnancy


Hello pat this is probably going to sound awful but in November I was attacked couple weeks before Christmas I found out I was pregnant I terminated my pregnancy on the 23 January even tho its everything I stand against my partner has been so amazing stood by what ever decision I was making ... Even tho it was he hardest thing I ever had to do and would never do again I'm 39 years of age and when I did a pregnancy test like they told me to on the 21st feb it was positive I have sore breasts again how many weeks could I possibly be ? I haven't told anyone not even my partner as he is having problems with his ex and seeing his little girl I don't want to pressure him but its hard and to top it all I lost my dad last week it's been a nightmare I'm just wondering if this is going to be a little bit of sunshine out of it all thnx Nicky xx

Hello, Nicola,

There are a couple of things about your message that I find confusing. Are you saying that you may still be pregnant from the attack? It is such a shame that you didn't get any support (your partner was there for you, but he didn't give you the kind of support I'm talking about, even though he tried) at the time you decided to end your pregnancy. If this IS the same pregnancy, then you can calculate how far along you are. If you think this is a new pregnancy, do you have any idea when you might have conceived? Given that it's only been a month since you did, it's not likely to be a new pregnancy. Also, if you used pills, you would have been far enough along they probably wouldn't have worked.

Life is tough all over. There are lots and lots of problems, and we all have to deal with them. You do the best you can. Even a child that results from an attack can be a real blessing. I know three women who were attacked and became pregnant. Two of them raised their children. They are both doing splendidly. One had been attacked by a gang while she was just a teenager. She is now happily married. The other one has eight children, and of those, the one she is closest to is the one that resulted from the attack. The third woman had an abortion. She was in and out of mental hospitals for at least a decade that I know about. She probably can't have children, and it destroyed her marriage. Admittedly, she was in a really bad situation, because her family is Asian and very traditional. They have no idea what happened to her. Her personality totally changed.

Regardless of anything else, an attack is never the baby's fault. If a woman simply cannot deal with it and wants to choose adoption, that is a difficult choice, but a good one, and her child is a blessing whatever she decides about parenting.

I hope that everything will be fine for you. I will be here for you. If you are carrying a child as a result of an attack, please know that great joy can come from what was an ugly situation. This is still YOUR baby as well. So any time you need to talk, please write. Let me know the answers to my questions, and I can probably tell you more. But most likely, you were 7-8 weeks at the time, on the 23 of January, and if you tried pills, they are not likely to have worked, and they won't have done any damage.

Please take care. I will pray and hope for the best for you.


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Pat G


I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.


I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

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