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Abortion/Regret Abortion.

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Question
I'm currently 23 years old. I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant and decided to get the abortion pill when I was 20. There's not one day that I don't think about my abortion and regret even going through with it in the first place. I feel horrible because I didn't really think about it and what my current boyfriend wanted at the time. When I found out I was pregnant, I panicked and without hesitation, I went to Planned Parenthood. I was being selfish and thinking about wanting to finish school. I just wanted to be prepared with my schooling done and a decent job before having a child without struggling financially. But I guess this is something you really can't prepare for when it happens. I regret going through with the abortion. I should have continued with the pregnancy. I even applied for Medi-Cal to pay for my abortion, but Planned Parenthood said it "didn't work" or wasn't activated. So I ended up paying $600 for no reason. Maybe that was a sign to keep it. Now I want to get pregnant again. I've been having sex everyday allowing my boyfriend to ejaculate inside but nothing. I haven't had a period for two months except the occasional brown spotting. Can an abortion effect future pregnancies? I believe things happen for a reason, but my selfishness probably ruined my future chances of ever becoming pregnant again.

Answer
Hello, Mel,

I am so sorry you made such a permanent decision that you now regret. This makes me very sad. Right now, it is important to try to heal emotionally and spiritually. Sometimes this kind of anguish can prevent a woman from being fertile. There is help available, counseling and other kinds of help. It isn't easy, but perfect healing is very available. I know many women who have reached that point. I will be here for you so you can talk all you need to. There are organizations in your state that offer various kinds of healing programs for abortion experienced women. Please find the one nearest you, and take advantage of what they have to offer. You can find that organization by going to this web site:

http://www.optionline.org/

Please know that God loves you, and has already paid the spiritual price of your abortion. He wants to have fellowship with you, and if you ask Him for forgiveness, He will forgive. He also tells us that we need to save sex for marriage, and for His blessings, it is important to heed His will. More on that a little later. If you ask for God's forgiveness, you can receive it, and then you can start to work on the task of forgiving yourself. That isn't easy, either, but with God's help, you can do that.

Abortion can affect future pregnancies. They can also cause other kinds of medical problems. You can also find a doctor through the nearest organization, who will help you with some of these problems. The doctors who are affiliated with these groups usually know how to handle complications from abortion. One of the major dangers will be the tendency to have a miscarriage or a very early birth. Very early birth can cause serious birth defects, so it is important to try to avoid it. When you get prenatal care, the obstetrician can use a technique called cerclage, that will faster your cervix shut so it can take the weight of a full term baby. At the time of birth, this will be reversed, or they will use whatever technique will be best for you and the baby. Pill abortions also make women more prone to breast cancer and auto-immune disease. To help prevent breast cancer, I recommend taking Vitamin D3 and Vitamin K2 daily. A good dose for Vitamin D3 is around 5000IU, up to 8000IU. A good dose for Vitamin K2 is 200mg. At this time, I am not aware of any natural treatment that will help safeguard a woman from all of the various possible auto-immune diseases, and I am doing more research.

There is something very important you need to think about. A baby needs and deserves two parents who are married, who cherish each other and the child. Please give some thought to the fact that right now, you can't give a baby this kind of family. If you truly love your boyfriend, and he loves you, you should get married before trying to have a child. I have seen the difficulties that can happen when the parents are not married. It isn't even natural for a woman, emotionally, to have a child, without a cherishing husband and father, and that can also prevent you from getting pregnant. Even if you do get pregnant, your baby still needs this. It makes a huge difference. Please talk to your boyfriend about this. Please be aware that it is common for a woman to want to have a replacement baby. But if your situation hasn't changed to the point where you can truly care for a baby, it will be tempting to get another abortion. You don't need to do that, and the organization I mentioned can help with the problems. But please give this some thought.

Please keep in touch and let me know what happens, and take good care of yourself.

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Pat G

Expertise

I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.

Experience

I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

Education/Credentials
I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

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