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Just some random questions I figured why not try and ask, see if I get an answer. :) I'm perfectly fine with my abortion an all that, just wondering about some things.

I know it said about (on the site where I went and some other places), avoid heavy lifting for at least a month. Is that necessarily true? I got this done November 1st, and at least 5 days later I was moving heavy stuff, no problem. I'm 22. I'm my gram's only help for moving (we're moving all this month). I was 9 1/2 weeks, I had surgical aspiration (which might I say wasn't the worst thing in the world if anyone reads this). I have a little pain in my stomach, but no massive bleeding. It's still just normal spotting, and very small amount of spotting.

Also was wondering, do you really have to wait a recommended time before having sex? November 5th I had sex with my fiancÚ, and he was gentle. Does it just depend on your body? I have a follow-up at the end of the month, was mostly wondering about the pain. Is it me just gaining muscle? It's sort of a soft, sharp pain. Only when I bend over or turn a certain way. Thanks if you reply! :3

Hello, Caitlyn,

I can't answer questions about your body specifically. Only a doctor can. He must be able to test and examine you. That said, I will try to address your questions in a more general way.

The main reason for being told to avoid heavy lifting is because of potential damage it can cause. The most likely thing to happen immediately would be excessive bleeding. But there are other concerns, such as damaging the physical structure of the uterus and its support. Incidentally, a person is usually advised not to do heavy lifting after any kind of abdominal surgery, not just abortion.

Women suffer damage from abortion. They can't do an abortion on a woman without hurting her. Our bodies were designed to protect our children. There are many possible long term consequences, such as damage to a future child, or the increased risk of a particularly deadly form of breast cancer. They don't tell women these things before doing an abortion. If you want some more details, please let me know.

The main reason they tell a woman to wait to have sex is the danger of infection. An abortion leaves the surface of the uterus wide open, so that if there is any kind of infectious organism that comes with the sex, it can result in an infection much more readily than otherwise. As for having sex, evidently you were not in a position to have a child right now. Would that be correct? If so, then you are running the risk of being put into the same position you were in when you decided to have an abortion. The more abortions a woman has, the more likely it is that she or one of her children will suffer severe damage. You really should consider waiting. If you both feel you can't wait, seriously consider getting married sooner. There is help available if there were financial or other problems that caused you to choose abortion. There are organizations all over the United States that are willing to help. But in the long run, you will be much better off if you wait until you are married.

Pain in your stomach wouldn't necessarily mean you are gaining muscle. Be careful not to rationalize a situation that may be causing you damage; pain is a warning. There could be a medical reason for it. It may be telling you that you need to refrain from whatever is causing the pain. If you want to get to the bottom of it, go see a doctor. I do not recommend you go back to the place where you had the abortion for this check. They will not want to find anything wrong because of legal liability issues. So if there IS something wrong, you are more likely to find out from someone who wasn't involved in the abortion.

I hope this answers some of your questions.


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Pat G


I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.


I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

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