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Abortion/abortion failure?

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QUESTION: Hi, i'm less than 6 weeks pregnant, confirmed on ultrasound. i took misoprostol 800micgram orally, got bleeding and expulsion of some clots. after 12 hrs i went for an ultrasound, it showed normal ongoing fetal cardiac activity. i came back and took another 800micgm dose orally 14 hrs after 1st dose. i got moderate bleeding again, i repeated 400 micgm 12 hrs later. and 20 hrs r gone by then. at present im having just spotting no pain and my nausea is better. im living in a country where it is considered illegal. im stuck up. im asking for a guidance and suggestion what and how to proceed. i just hope and pray u r the right person to ask this. waiting for ur reply. my regards! raaz

ANSWER: Hello, Raaz,

I can't tell you if I am the right person or not. That would have to be your decision. You live in very difficult circumstances. There are almost no alternatives where you live. I well understand this. That said, it is critically important never to take a chance that might result in pregnancy under bad circumstances again. The activity that led to pregnancy is also illegal. Please don't take any chances with anyone other than your husband, when you get married (not before).

I'm not sure exactly what you are asking me. However, if you are wondering if you are still pregnant, can you go for another ultrasound? If you think you might still be pregnant, then the only two alternatives I can think of that are safe for you, is either to leave the country until after the baby is born and put the baby up for adoption and return, or to seek help to leave the country from an American (I don't recall offhand if the United States has an embassy there, but ideally, go to the embassy for help, and ask how to apply for asylum. There is no guarantee they will help, but there isn't much else out there by way of alternatives, unfortunately). Some churches can also help, but I don't believe there are any churches in your country.

However, from what you are telling me, you are probably not pregnant anymore. These pills are very dangerous, and taking just the one drug does NOT guarantee an abortion. Taking both drugs normally used doesn't, either, but the one drug by itself is more likely to fail.

About the best I can do is be here for you. I can't offer you any suggestions for any medical procedures because I am not a doctor, and I could get into a lot of trouble if I did. Nor will I help a woman to do medical harm to herself. All forms of abortion harm a woman severely. I don't know of any method that doesn't, and I don't know of a way to prevent harm. Sometimes the harm doesn't show up for years, but it is still there. Just take care of yourself. Don't try to take any more drugs. Please keep in touch.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hello
im happy my mail is replied... im sorry for some misunderstandings my mail created.. i am a married woman. and my child was legal. however i underwent a D n C procedure a week ago by a specialist in a hospital. here they hardly offer any proper contraceptive methods other than barrier method (condoms ). i will leave for another country for my exams after 15 days... and i will make sure to have IUCD( intra uterine contraceptive devices) insertion for future. if there is any other contraception method safe or better in ur suggestion kindly let m know. Thank you for the reply and your precious time.
   Raaz

Answer
Hello, Raaz,

I am glad to hear back from you. I am sorry that you felt you had to have an abortion even though your child was legal. To answer your question, there is no safe method of contraception that doesn't harm a woman. The only truly safe method is abstinence. It is completely safe and completely effective. Since you are married, you can have sex with your husband without any problems. Be willing to accept a child if you conceive one. If you are going away from your husband to take the exams, then simply refrain from getting into trouble, and return home to your husband, and then have all the sex you want.

Please keep in mind that abortion harms a woman's body in some very serious ways, and as a result, it can also harm your future children.

Don't think you have to choose between having children and having a career. You can do both. The way to do it is to time it correctly. I had my children first, and after they all left home, I started on my career, and I have been having the time of my life! Depending on your situation, you may be able to have a career while you are raising children, but your husband must be willing to share child care, and it is best for your children if you breastfeed them for many months, so take that into account.

If you would need to be in another country for a long time, consider taking your courses over the internet so you can stay home.

If you want to postpone having children with your husband, learn natural family planning. This method is more reliable than any contraceptive method, and also totally safe. You have to chart faithfully for it to work well. You can find more information here:

http://www.fertilityuk.org/

Please don't have any more abortions. You deserve better. Please keep in touch and let me know how things go. I will be interested to see how you do with your education, and whether you are able to make plans for your life that work out for you. Take good care of yourself.

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Pat G

Expertise

I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.

Experience

I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

Education/Credentials
I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

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