Abortion/help plzzzzz


i am 25-years old girl. i think i m pregnant for the 3rd time now in a single year. but i can't give life to this child. i want to abort it. i had aborted the other 2 children before. the reason is my family has not accepted my boyfriend as my husband yet. but i m promising this time that after this time i would definitely care for it. kindly help me out i have a few questions which are a source of depression for me...
firstly do tell me that would it create any side effect in my future pregnancies??i mean to my future children....
secondly what should i take to abort my child now???i had taken s.t.mom 3pills the last time. n this time m gonna take the same...
kindly help me

Hello, sadia,

I am aware that in your country, being pregnant from your boyfriend can be a serious problem. That said, I am bound by certain ethical considerations. I cannot advise you to harm yourself and your children.

Yes, abortion can harm your future children, and the more abortions you have, the more likely it is to harm them. Even pill abortions can cause this kind of harm. Any kind of abortion will weaken the cervix. The result is that very early birth becomes much more likely. After only one abortion, it increases by 400%. And you are talking about having three abortions, having already had two.

The incidence of miscarriage also increases by 400%. If the baby is born early but alive, it increases the chance the baby will develop cerebral palsy, autism, mental retardation, epilepsy, breathing disorders, or eating disorders.

I cannot advise you to take the pills. They are very dangerous. They can not only harm your future children, but also, they can harm or kill you. You are also already at increased risk of developing a deadly breast cancer before you are 40, and the sooner you have a child, the better off you will be. If you have a child and breastfeed, you can reverse some of the damage. You were lucky the first two times. In any case, since I am not a doctor, I cannot prescribe them, or any other method of causing abortion.

You should not be having sex with your boyfriend. However, you have to do something about your current situation. What is the possibility your boyfriend and you can move to another location until after your baby is born, and then you can place your baby for adoption? You are 25 years old. You should be able to marry without your parents' consent. Can you then go to another location and get married? While I think it is wise of your parents not to want you to marry someone who is having sex with you now, at the same time, they should not be dictating to you whether you get married. Several of our children married people we weren't sure would be good for them. We supported their decision. Eventually, they figured out that marrying that person wasn't wise. It caused problems because they were already married. If worse comes to worst, go to the American embassy and ask them to help you find a place to live until you can have your baby and give him or her up for adoption.

So you really need to decide if this man will truly cherish and protect you. And then you need to find a better way to handle your current situation. Please, whatever you do, find another answer. Do not use those deadly pills again. Please.

Please keep in touch. Let me know what happens. I will be here for you and I will help as much as I can, but unfortunately, there is not much I can do but offer suggestions. I hope things work out for you.


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Pat G


I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.


I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.