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QUESTION: I have had an unprotected sex on April 3rd my boyfriend did a coitus interruptus. My cycles were about to start on monday but I don't know the reason why they didn't start yet I am worried about it. I took an O-pill on 6th of April and I am still not back on my cycles and its 8th April today. Is there any chance of me getting pregnant? Or am I in such a situation? Should I consult a doctor about it? I am feeling my stomach pain and experiencing a back pain too just like it used to happen when I used to mensturate but in this condition I am not bleeding. Help me over this please. Thank you so much for sparing your precious time and responding.

ANSWER: Hello, Lily,

Coitus interruptus does not protect a woman from pregnancy. A man often has a drop of semen beforehand, and this is sufficient for pregnancy. Since you are not married, it is not in your best interest to have sex. Your boyfriend is enjoying your body at your expense. You bear all the physical and medical burden. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't allow you to take such risks.

A woman ovulates 14 days before her next period starts, if it does. She is usually fertile three days either side. According to what you said, you wouldn't have been fertile. You took the O pill for no reason. Pills like that are dangerous and harmful. They should not be taken just in case. They will disrupt a woman's cycle. If it will give you peace of mind, see a doctor. But otherwise, your cycle has been disrupted, and you simply need to let yourself return to normal. Be patient. Don't expect to be able to predict what your body will do after taking the O pill.

Please take good care of yourself. Don't take such risks. You deserve better. Save yourself for someone who will protect and cherish you.

Feel free to ask any other questions that are on your mind. You're welcome.


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QUESTION: Thank you for the above response I appreciate that you replied.I had another question. I was about the date on 3rd april but there was no menstruation on that day and then on the same day I had unprotected sex but my boyfriend didn't ejaculate within me. The following day I expected myself to go under menstruation hoping there might be some delay in the cycles, but nothing happened. Even on the 5th April I didn't go under menstruation. What might be the possible problem that I may be facing? Is there any possibility of me being pregnant? I even took a pregnancy test on the 4th April but it showed me negative. Then on the night of 5th April I took Plan B One Step. You answering to this question would mean a lot to me. Thank you.

Answer
Hello, Lily,

You're welcome. I'll see if I can make things more clear. I have a good picture of what happened that night with sex. The problem is, before ejaculation, men often have a drop of semen on the tip, and just this drop is enough to get a woman pregnant, so you should not rely on coitus interruptus to prevent pregnancy. Since you are not married, there is really only one way to make sure you won't get pregnant: don't have sex. Even relatively reliable methods of birth control do not work well in that situation.

You said that you expected your period on the same day you had sex. If your period had been scheduled for that same day, you would not have become pregnant no matter what. A woman can only get pregnant when she ovulates or produces an egg. This happens 14 days before her next period actually starts, if it does. You would only be fertile for a maximum of 3 days after and 3 days before. That gives a gap of 11 days when you would not be fertile. You would be unable to conceive a child when you are not fertile.

There are several reasons a woman might miss a period, other than pregnancy. A big one is stress. If you were very stressed about anything in your life, or felt stress because you had sex and this was contrary to your principles, your period might not come. Also, if you are a vegetarian, you might stop having periods. Vegetarianism, especially veganism, causes malnutrition, and this can lead to a woman not having periods at all.

Plan B is a dangerous medication, and you had no reason to take it, although you were worried. You took a serious risk for no valid medical reason. I don't advise women to use Plan B.

I hope this explains further. Please do not worry about being pregnant. If you are correct about when your period should have come, and you normally have fairly regular periods, you were not fertile and it would have been impossible for you to become pregnant.

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Pat G

Expertise

I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.

Experience

I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

Education/Credentials
I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

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