You are here:

Abortion/Abortion Recovery


Hi there,
My question is probably a rather vague one but it's still something I can't stop stressing about.  Basically, I am wondering when a worry should become a genuine concern I act on.  I am terrified of making this experience harder, longer or more painful than it already has been.  

I recently underwent the surgical procedure for abortion on Friday (5 days ago).  I was 12 weeks along and only found out the Tuesday before.  To be completely honest, emotionally it was extremely hard for me.  Not due to uncertainty of if I were to keep him/her or not, I always knew the responsible thing for a 25 year old University student was to get an abortion.  However, I found myself in the weirdest moments of hating myself for not being mentally, physically, or financially prepared to keep it.  I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and he made it very clear to not even talk about the desire to keep it.  Which made my thoughts very hard to speak for the 3 or so days before.  Not to mention from the Sunday to Friday I hadn't been able to keep a single thing down and was in constant pain and misery physically due to illness.  Stressed to not be able to work for the whole week.  I guess what I'm saying is all I wanted as soon as I got the abortion was to be finished with the whole ordeal.  I mean, of course somebody would.  But in order to ensure the best recovery I was very adamant in using my three days (the abortion was early Friday morning) of recovery after the abortion to take care of myself physically and mentally so I could return back to work come Monday morning.  The weekend started showing my glimpses of my normal self and I felt good about how well I was taking care of myself.

My job is as a cook in a restaurant.  Which is obviously an extremely high paced job.  I was concerned about going back and overwhelming my body and somehow inhibiting my recovery process (if possible?).  I told my boss what had been going on and he was very understanding and we both made sure i was off line and doing light jobs.  However the first day back I experienced pains that caused me to unintentionally start to crouch into a sort of standing fetal position (best way I could describe it).  At times the pain was so bad that it would impair my breathing, but I somehow made it through the day staying out of anything that would be considered "exercise".  Then Tuesday came along and I was on line because I thought I felt fine enough and by noon I realized I had started bleeding a bit heavier than the days before or any period I've ever had.  Once again the pain resurfaced and then I vomited twice and basically was told to go home and rest.  So I went home and attempted to rest but could not because of the pain and constant having to change my pad.  Throughout the night was the same thing.  And now this morning as I was getting ready for work, between 8 and 9 I went through 3 pads and within 20 minutes of being at work another 2.  I have reserached a bit and keep reading that 3 pads in an hour is considered 'abnormal'.  As well as 12 consecutive hours of a 'heavier flow' and 'severe pains'.  Now I guess this is where I need some answers.  To me all these things have such thin grey lines.  I don't know when 'heavy' is supposed to be considered 'heavy' or when 'severe pain' is considered 'severe pain'.  I walked to the closest walk-in this morning and they had a 2 hour wait and I was on my second last pad and knew I couldn't wait that long.  Which is why I haven't seen a doctor if you are wondering.  
I want to ensure I have the most efficient recovery as possible as now I am missing another day of work added on to my week last week.  Not to mention I am completely uncomfortable and sick of waiting to feel normal again.  Is there anything I can or should do?  Should I be more concerned or just keep waiting it out?

Hello, Samm,

I apologize for not answering sooner. I was not notified that I had received a question. I got a second notice just now.

Your situation sounds potentially serious. If you are still having this problem and haven't seen a doctor, please either go to the emergency room, or contact a doctor (preferably not one you got the abortion from, or anyone associated with him.) If you are unable to find a doctor you can trust, you can contact an organization and get a referral. There are organizations all over Canada. You can find the one closest to you by going to this web site:

If you are unable to find one with the search, give them a call. They have a more extensive list.

The other thing I am getting from your message is that you really didn't want an abortion in the first place. You were coerced by your boyfriend and by information that getting an abortion is the responsible thing to do. You sound like you are suffering emotional consequences. This can also be very serious, and can really mess up your life. If you go to the same organization you find as I instructed above, they will have resources to help you recover emotionally and spiritually.

Please let me know what happens. I will be praying for you.


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Pat G


I can help women with the consideration of their decision, and with resources, and I can share my own experiences as the mother of seven and grandmother of eleven. My approach is to show love and concern, and help women work through the issues, emotional, spiritual, practical. I also help women deal with boyfriend and family issues. I am not a doctor, but I have done extensive medical research, so I may be able to help with information. I am female. When you write, if you are or were pregnant, please tell me how far along you were or are, and if you have had an abortion, please tell me what kind. Thank you.


I have been working with women who are considering abortion for several years. I also work with women who have had abortions. Our family has also experienced adoption, so I can talk about that as well.

I am mostly self-taught. I also studied midwifery for awhile. I have spent years doing research on this topic. In fact, I have been doing research and working in this area since the early 1970's. I have been helping women online for a few years, under the guidance of a woman who was formally training in counseling.

©2016 All rights reserved.