Expert: Sound Advice - 1/2/2007

Question
I am 24 and am now going on my 6th pregnancy. I have a 6yr and 2yr old son. I had 2 miscarriages between the 2 of my boys, and last May my husband and I made the difficult decision to have an abortion. I decided to get a Tubal Ligation and had a date set for Dec, 1st 2006. The date for the surgery kept getting put off and I found out before x-mas that I was pregnant again! My husband and I had talked about the what if before, and decided that with us just downsizing in our living accommodations that abortion again would be the best idea. But I still feel guilt and think about the abortion almost every day. I don't really want to do it again. This weekend I told my husband that I wanted to keep it. He actually seemed ok to the idea and actually started telling some close friends and family, but this morning we got a call from my ob and she said that they could have me in next week for the procedure. He wants me to, but I don't. We are not in a great financial place at all, but something in me still tells me that I/we are strong enough to deal with this. I just feel confused because all the advice I have heard is "it's your body, it's your choice" which I think is valid if you are facing this decision as a single mother. I am worried that my guilt from the last abortion is clouding my judgement and that I am going to tear apart my marriage in making this decision. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!  

Answer
Leah,

I would honestly say if the guilt is bothering you about the last abortion, I wouldn't get the second one.  Especially if you're on the fence about it.  Let's say you decide to keep the baby and then find out you're in a harder place financially...well, you could still give the baby up for adoption, but you couldn't reverse the abortion if the situation was reversed.  Obviously this isn't an easy decision but I do have some advice.  There is a hotline and a website with AOL IM if you prefer, of people who could definitely give you some more information and better help you make this choice.  The one I always recommend is optionline.org (1-800-395-HELP).  Let me know if they are or are not helpful.  I hope they help with your decision and let me know if there is anything at all I can do.