Expert: Diane Cheryl - 9/12/2007

Question
Hi Diane, of the course of 10 years I have had 2 abortions and a miscarriage.  The first abortion I took very well as I was in a situation that would not have been healthy for me or the child to proceed.  I then had a miscarriage about 4 years later to my then fiancee, I was not aware I was pregnant and was only 5 weeks and presented at the hospital with abdominal pain to be told I was miscarrying.  The third installment happened after I was married about 15 mths ago It was accidental whilst on birth control and I really didnt want to have an abortion but as my husband didnt tell me he wanted to keep the baby and it was ok if we went through with it I made the decision to terminate.  I thought it would be as simple as the first time and I would just forget and move on but everyday I wonder.  The worst thing about it is has had a really negative effect on our marriage as in some ways I resent him for not telling me it was ok.  It has made me very insecure in my marriage and I cant seem to let it go.
Tell me what I can do to get my marriage back on track as I really do love him and dont want to lose him.  I need to know how to let it go.

Answer
Dear Rebecca,

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. What you are saying about your feelings is very common after abortion. I have a lot I could say but in the meantime
I would recommend 2 websites http://www.safehavenministries.com and
http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org

I would also like to send you in the mail a packet of post abortion healing articles that I think you would find extremely helpful. Please email me at DCHERYL51@yahoo.com
so we can talk more. There is hope and healing available.

Sincerely,
Diane Cheryl