Expert: Diane Cheryl - 5/8/2007

Question
I am a 31 year old woman that has two children and have been with my husband for 10years. He is 43yrs and my problem at the moment is that I am 4-5wks pregnant and he is forcing me into having an abortion. He is the main bread winner and he says he will keep the other two children but wants me out of his life an house and wont have anything to do with me or this baby if I choose to go ahead with the pregnancy! I love him very much and he says he loves me, but I cant bring myself to having an abortion as its bringing back bad memories of when i had one when I was in my teens when once again i was talked into having an abortion (a different boyfriend at the time). My husbands arguments are that we can not afford to have another child and he also says he will be nearly 45yrs when baby is born and he does not want not to be able to do things with this child when he is ten and he is 50 something! Help what can I do I can not choose!

Answer
Hello Mel,
I am so sorry to hear of your situation. May I offer my private email address for you to contact me so we can talk more.
DCHERYL51@yahoo.com
I have talked to many women in unplanned pregnancy situations and women who have had abortions. In my experience, you need to choose for yourself and not for your husband. After all, we women have a right to choose at this time of our lives and history and if you want to choose life, that is your prerogative. There are many places to get support and resources so don't let that problem hinder your personal decision. Also, I have heard many stories where the husband changes his mind after the child is born and is enraptured with his new one. I can't guarantee that but I wonder if you could live with yourself if you do choose abortion. I could also recommend at couple of groups to help you and this website http://www.optionline.org to find a local pregnancy help center in your area. Here are the two groups/board
http://www.voy.com/66018/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unplanned_pregnancy_help/
Please contact me as well.
Thanks and hope that this has helped and that I will be in touch with you soon.

Diane Cheryl